Category: Insufferable Twits

“Instagram Boyfriend” Joke Writing Contest

A contest you say?! Yes, but one with no official prizes. Just the pride in showing off your funny bone.

This video suggests that Justin Trudeau and Prince Harry have devolved into the role most suited for each of them: Instagram Boyfriend. Here’s an AI slop video showing the two of them with another despicable character, Eileen Gu.

This all got me thinking: there must be a good joke here about these two nitwits and their newfound roles in life. Without sufficient caffeine in my brain while writing this, I came up with nothing. So I asked Grok to help. Here are 3 jokes it came up with about Lil’ Juthin and Dethroned Harry being Instagram Boyfriends:

  1. Justin Trudeau isn’t just Canada’s former PM — he’s also Sophie’s full-time Instagram boyfriend. His real job description? “Must maintain perfect hair while crouching in bushes for the ideal golden-hour shot.”
  2. Prince Harry left the royal family so he could focus on his true calling: being Meghan’s Instagram boyfriend. The monarchy offered him a title; she offered him the chance to hold the phone at exactly 45 degrees.
  3. Trudeau and Harry should start a support group for Instagram boyfriends. Meetings would begin with a solemn pledge: “I solemnly swear to take 47 photos of the same latte until one of them gets more than 10,000 likes.”

I am royally confident that you, dear SDA readers, can come up with something better!

Le Syndrome De Stockholm

As a Manitoban, sometimes I console myself with the knowledge that at least I don’t live in Quebec. Over there, the party that champions the cause of government inspectors telling you how to spell hamburger is trying to assure Anglophones that there’s really nothing to worry about if you vote for them.

“Underneath that pledge is also the fact the anglos don’t fear the PQ any more since anglos and francos share the same realities and concerns. Public discourse has too often encouraged the mistaken belief that the concerns of French-speaking and English-speaking Quebecers are fundamentally at odds.

Part of Toronto Has Been Ceded to Ghana

So says Toronto city councillor, Shelley Carroll:

Define “Everything”

Well, maybe everything except for an end to supply mismanagement and the US booze ban. It never occurs to our political masters that concessions on those items would actually be a win/win for everyone. David Eby needs to be reminded that Canada is like the guy at the poker table holding deuce-seven off suit. An all-in bet probably wouldn’t be a wise choice.

Ford called for tit-for-tat tariffs on Tuesday and suggested the provinces could “dismantle the U.S. if we wanted to” by exerting pressure through energy exports.

“If you need cards to get the agreement that we need on softwood lumber, to get the agreement that we need on growing prosperity for Americans and for Canadians again … then British Columbia will be there,” Eby said.

Manitoba Grifters

What’s the phrase “I’m willing to entertain…” supposed to mean anyway? That he’s going to hold the project ransom at some point? It would be nice to hear “I enthusiastically endorse…” instead, but that would probably land him in hot water with the greenies.

Manitoba Premier Wab Kinew says he’s open to a west-east pipeline being pitched by his counterparts in Alberta and Ontario.

But he says major projects like pipelines need to be built the right way, by addressing environmental concerns and bringing Indigenous governments on board.

Is Canada A Suicide Pact?

Apparently most provincial premiers cannot grasp that these tactics have the same chance of success as an economy sedan playing chicken with a bus. Wiser leaders would know enough to concede before it’s too late.

British Columbia Premier David Eby delivered ​the ​starkest message: “There is not a chance in hell that U.S. alcohol is going back on the ​shelves in British Columbia.”

Is Anti-Asian Violence Rampant in Vancouver?

Earlier this month, I was back “home” in Vancouver and spotted this pair of posters at Granville Island:

Here’s the web page referenced on the left. The link on the right leads to a 404 Error.

One can only wonder why the “Stop Asian Hate” link no longer works. Might it have something to do with the fact that when unprovoked attacks on people of Asian descent were investigated in America, it turns out they’re almost always carried out by young black males?!? Asking for a friend.

Keir Starmer’s Britain

Where the foxes caper unmolested, the government packs your school lunch and the Defence Secretary has resigned from Cabinet: “you have been unable, and the Treasury has been unwilling, to commit the resources that the nation needs to defend the country at this time of rising threats”.

Update;

Despite his departure, Healey asked defence ministers to stay in their posts.

But a few hours later, Armed Forces Minister Al Carns followed suit, saying the plan wasn’t “built for the threat we face” and wasn’t “sufficiently funded”.

The latest departures mean seven ministers have now stepped down from the government in the past month.

And another resignation: The pressure on Keir Starmer is intensifying by the hour.

Good comment by reader Orson here.

The UK Defence Secretary resigned not because Starmer refuses to appropriate the necessary funds. He resigned because the UK doesn’t have the funds to appropriate. The UK is very much like Canada in that it voluntarily dissolved industry. Instead they focussed on service and entitlement programs (their National Healthcare one of them). They voluntarily moved money away from Defence costs (including not making the threshold on NATO contributions). Now, the US, who has been making up the difference on all these European countries has drawn a line, and none of the EU countries are in a financial position to accomodate their own defense. It’s an embarrassment. It’s a hard lesson. And, it’s not being corrected because the “leader” of the UK realizes that to make significant changes negates all the “entitlement gifts” used by his Political party faction to bribe the electorate.

Stranded Assets

Ownership without the right to sell an asset means that you aren’t actually the owner of that asset; you’re a serf.

There’s a case to indefinitely keep the Trans Mountain pipeline in government hands, possibly alongside Indigenous partners, say the leaders of its operator and financial overseer.

“It has incredible value,” said Wademan. “There’s absolutely a case to be a long term holder … I personally would love to see it owned by Canadians.”

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