Category: My Editor Hates Me

Not News.

What a waste of bandwidth.

The British navy’s newest and most expensive aircraft carrier needs repairs after a faulty shaft seal was identified during sea trials.

Imagine that, sea-trials find issues on brand new class. Shocking, I tell you, shocking. A 200l/hr leak. 200 litres. That ain’t the Titanic tear, more like a drip in the sink.

Not Waiting for The Asteroid

This is CNN:

So, after nearly a full day of promoting a story labeling the redoubtable Reddit meme generator HanA**holeSolo the source of President Trump’s WWE vs. CNN logo wrestling gif, it turns out that CNN may have botched the story. HanA**holeSolo apologized for his myriad wrongs and stated that he never meant to promote violence. CNN threatened to out HanA**holeSolo’s identity if he reneged on his apology.
And the meme Trump tweeted wasn’t generated by HanA**holeSolo. CNN shot first.

Maybe their layers and layers of fact-checkers were packing moving boxes yesterday.
UPDATE: smdh

I Don’t Even Know What To Title This, But I Keep Thinking Of Dingoes

A column by Globe writer Leah McLaren, in all it’s magnificent entirety, because the Globe has since yanked it.

Watching the dispiriting moral fumbling match that passes for a Conservative Party leadership campaign this spring, I’ve often found myself reminded of the time I tried to breastfeed Michael Chong’s baby.
To be fair, at the time I didn’t know it was Mr. Chong’s baby. I didn’t even know Mr. Chong – who is now, as he was then, the Conservative MP for Wellington-Halton Hills, and currently the best pick of an otherwise sad litter for CPC leader.
The breastfeeding incident occurred at a Toronto house party. It was an in-between sort of evening, neither a rager nor a formal dinner party – the sort of casual and expensively lubricated early-evening-into-night gathering that exhausted people in their 30s with small children tend to favour.
I was about 25 and did not have a baby – or even a boyfriend – at the time.

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The Ultimate First World Problem: Knitting on a Train

The first time you visit Singapore, you’ll quickly surmise that it’s a very safe, clean, and orderly place. Most everyone is quiet, respectful, and conforms to the social norms set forth by the government. As such, this Letter to the Editor is not really out of the ordinary. What the woman who wrote it, likely didn’t expect, were the endless comedic comments that followed. Some of them are priceless! Such brilliant mockery will hopefully provide inspiration to SDA regulars of how to treat the outrageous words & actions of the Lieberals & Dippers in the 4 years ahead.

Might it be that health food nuts really just don’t like food that much?

This woman’s experiment with the Paleo diet supports a theory I’ve long held that people who turn to pretty radical diets generally seem to have the equivalent of muted taste buds:

Paleo also requires you to give up processed food, refined sugars, and alcohol, which makes sense because those things are wonderful. But you’re also supposed to avoid grains, starches, and natural sweeteners (like honey), and you are supposed to limit your fruit intake. It’s sort of like the Inquisition, but less fun.

In some respects, it’s worked: being Paleo has killed my will to live, so I’m too sad to snack. My abs look pretty damn good, but I suspect that’s from all the nights I spend wracked with sobs because I can’t eat anything fun. I would take a selfie to show you, but this isn’t Facebook and I’m not your misguided teenage niece.

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