I bring you the travails of the modern cross-dressing man.

An idea so radical it just might work.

The International Olympic Committee finally did what so many of us have been demanding for years: it drew a clear, unambiguous line in the sand to protect women’s sports. Under its first-ever female president, Kirsty Coventry, the IOC announced a new eligibility policy that limits competition in the female category at the Olympics, Youth Olympics and all IOC-sanctioned events to females only. Novel concept, right? In today’s world, it is.

Starting with the 2028 Los Angeles Games, this will be verified through a simple, one-time SRY gene screening — a cheek swab, saliva sample, or blood draw — to confirm the absence of the male sex-determining gene.

“Women should not take testosterone.”

Because when you think of the dignity of women, you immediately picture drag queens.

Tales from the world of womanliness.

I bring educational news:

The educator in question, whose actual name has not been disclosed, took to social media to express his indignation at not being permitted to wear his false tail at work. “People wanna be straight up pearl clutching bitches,” he said, in a teacherly manner. Among images of stabbed and bleeding teddy bears, and while describing himself as a “butt-sniffing wolf bitch.”

Parents also suggested that a cross-dressing kindergarten teacher wearing mini-skirts, a dog collar and black fishnet stockings was, all things considered, a tad inappropriate.

Naturally, there’s more.

Following this eye-widening farce, in which a mentally ill woman claimed to be crushed and psychologically violated by a haircut booking form, I bring you a vision of things to come.

You may want to bite down on something.

Jordan Peterson is the Nostradamus of our time: A human rights tribunal has awarded a they/them compensation because a salons booking form didn’t include made up genders.

Attention, Canadian citizens. A new realm of human suffering has been discovered.