Including a lawn-mowing mishap; a posture-optimised toilet; typing with light; your empathetic betters; and a skatepark for the blind.
Improbable Agonising
A Guardian writer tells us that women are being mentally injured by small baked goods; another is oppressed by the failure to gender balance suburban barbecues; and a third is psychologically crushed by spellcheck software and disposable paper cups.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including random-ass cheese umbrage; some inapt gripping; automated wok tossing; the advantages of having your own vacuum chamber; and another visit to the Ogmios School of Zen Motoring.
Incompatible Pretending
Or, Witchcraft And Transgenderism, Together At Last:
As these are terribly modern, immensely caring witches, Ms Howard was banned from the organisation’s Facebook page and from the website of the British Druid Order on grounds of being “unequivocally transphobic.” Thereby denying Ms Howard access to the arcane knowledge of “seers and healers,” along with the opportunity to purchase oracle cards, audio recordings of spells and invocations, and “hymns to the divine feminine.” Oh, and guides to coping with stress by wrapping a thick blanket around your head.
Oh, there’s more.
The Bullet Holes Were A Clue
“Do you get off by, like, picking up people?” asks the woman who gets off on shooting random people’s cars. “Some people,” she adds, “probably think I’m a hero.” Oh, and madam only attempted to flee because she “had to go to the bathroom.”
The Bar Tab Cometh
It’s fundraising week over at my place. If you’d like to help keep a blog afloat, by all means do.
Have You Tried Storing Them Upright?
Readers will note the odd implication that the level of serious criminal behaviour at any given time should somehow conform to the amount of prison space you have at that time. As if the moral gravity of a criminal act, and likelihood of recidivism and danger to the public, should be determined by whether or not you can be bothered to build another dungeon.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including some fairly unambiguous hippo displeasure; a planet-wide guide to what people are doing right now; artefacts of the FBI; and a vigorously athletic use of the buttocks.
Crack And Badger
Come to think of it, I’m not entirely sure what loving one’s body might mean, beyond the obvious off-colour jokes. But apparently, it’s something that one is supposed to proclaim as an accomplishment, a credential of progressivism. I have, however, noted that it tends to be announced by people whose declared triumph in this matter is not altogether convincing, and whose basis for doing so is generally much slimmer than they are.
It must be quite strange to go through life feeling a need to boast in print of some pointed behaviour – specifically, “showing my sons what a real woman’s body… looks like” – as if this feat of not wearing knickers were somehow radical, empowering, and a basis for applause. And to then have to justify this lifestyle affectation in ways that are somewhat contradictory and not particularly convincing. As if no-one would notice. It seems a lot of effort.
On the cost of pervert inclusivity; on Trump-induced hair-loss; and on not wearing knickers as the height of progressive parenting.
Peer-Reviewed, You Say
From the Journal of Lesbian Studies – tree licking, bestiality, and politically radical masturbation.
Any Widening Of The Eyes Will Result In Detention
And then there’s the not insignificant matter of introducing an element of transvestite farce into the classroom, which may result in children being distracted from the task at hand by the perhaps more immediate question of what the strange man in the wig and padded push-up bra sees when he looks in a mirror.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a scenic toilet; feats of camera-manning; a tribute to the barf bag; an unwelcome wobble; and waffle-stomping as an environmentalist’s solemn duty.
There Usually Is
Scientists at Europe’s Large Hadron Collider have successfully transformed lead into gold.
Our Betters In All Their Glory
On the intersectional perils of video conferencing; a plan to cool the planet with compulsory dance lessons; and an empowered feminist is exhausted by hiring servants, planning holidays, and brushing her daughter’s hair.
Their Inner Loveliness
One might think that gangs of masked misfits following elderly and disabled people to their cars, then obstructing their attempts to leave, while generally menacing them and muttering vivid threats, might constitute a breach of the peace, to say the least. Causing fear and alarm is the obvious intention.
And remember, the targets in the videos above – the unimposing, the elderly, the disabled – are chosen deliberately and with glee. Because that’s who they are, these mighty warriors of the Cluster B Tendency. Malevolence is their aphrodisiac, their euphoria. It’s how they feel important. It’s how they process the buzzing noise inside their own heads.
A peek at the psychology of Antifa’s Transgender Enforcement Wing, for whom menacing the elderly and disabled is the cutting edge of radical piety.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including how to scare children; a compendium of near misses; some not entirely successful automation; and the very modern woes of the very modern slut.
World Of Basket Weaving
A return to the Dark Ages is always possible. You just have to put people who write for The Guardian in charge of everything.
Aversions
According to Zoe, those who’d prefer not to be assailed by thunderous basslines at 4am, or to have their evenings enlivened by small, terrified animals falling from the sky, are merely being cruel, “dehumanising,” and needlessly judgemental. For Zoe, the problem with ‘problem families’ is simply that they’re poor, and nothing whatsoever to do with how they choose to abuse their equally poor neighbours.
In the world of our Guardian columnist, we – by which she means you – should be “unstigmatising,” which is to say, non-judgemental. Passive and accepting, on an indefinite basis. A process via which empathy, or feigned empathy, is shifted from the working-class victim of crime and antisocial behaviour to the working-class perpetrator of crime and antisocial behaviour, on grounds that the thug or criminal is in some way being oppressed and, unlike their neighbours, being made to misbehave.
For Fake Nail Enthusiasts
Significant, You Say
A man named Silvia struggles with convention.