Hear my drum.

Seattle police arrested a 33-year-old man on Thursday afternoon after a chaotic and disturbing scene unfolded at a Capitol Hill Trader Joe’s, where the suspect reportedly threatened to kill people while armed with a knife, shortly after allegedly attempting to engage in a sex act with a store refrigerator.

Armstrong Economics- The Stripper Index

The creators of this unconventional gauge believe that June’s data indicates signs of trouble ahead, with all sex worker-related metrics declining. They found that escort pricing across the UK has declined, and Google searches for “escort” are notably down. Sadly, there is an increase in new hires in the industry as well.

Fort McMurray, of course: EMS managed to detach the man’s penis from the ice without injury or inadvertent circumcision. He was arrested but not charged with any crime.

Western Standard- NORTHERN EXPOSURE: Man’s penis freezes to ground outside Fort McMurray pub

The argument spilled into the street and a fight broke out. During the altercation, the man’s pants fell down. As he tumbled to the ground, his penis became stuck to the sidewalk due to the frigid temperatures.

EMS managed to detach the man’s penis from the ice without injury or inadvertent circumcision.