“I Have Seen The Asteroid And It Is Us”

(Links updated after our moral and intellectual superiors tasked with defending CBC journalism chose to redirect the original links to a bondage clad booby shot. As a metaphor for the strength of their arguments, it really doesn’t get much better than that.)
(Update 2: OK, OK, stop emailing me. The booby shot is here. It seems CBC employees have finally created repackaged something stolen from the private sector into something you want to see.)
After reading this; “Read ‘em and weep…the CBC News story”

It has been too easy to blame criticism on unhappy former employees who are disgruntled because they were pushed out. It has been too easy to point fingers at older viewers who don’t like change. It has been too easy to fall back on “it’s a work in progress” excuses. The truth is, and the numbers are all too clear, the new National is an abject failure that has not resonated with the viewing audience and worse, has turned many loyal news junkies away.
With the help of a mathematically inclined friend who has access to the ratings I put together a table that clearly shows how poorly The National is doing. But first an executive summary of our findings:
We used 70 programs (Monday-Friday) in 2009 from the beginning of January to the second week of April. The National average was about 804 thousand, while CTV News got 993 thousand.
This year, 2010, we looked at 59 programs during the same period. (The Olympics made 11 weekdays not applicable.) This time the National averaged 644 thousand, CTV News — 1257 thousand. That’s almost exactly double. […]
Two other small observations. Last year, there were 9 days when The National actually got higher numbers than CTV. This season, it never got close. The other thing is that we picked a period when The National‘s ratings were actually UP! If you were to look at the September-December stretch, CTV’s numbers were regularly more than double, sometimes, even triple those of CBC’s flagship news program… The numbers are even more startling than we expected.

Source: http://www.theteamakers.com/2010/04/21/why-we-leak/#comment-12069

… all I can say is “Over to you, Shotgun Boy”.

shotgun.jpg

I have painting to do.

The Sound Of Settled Science

“Dinosaurs died from sudden temperature drop”

British researchers claim that a sudden plummeting in the sea temperature of 16F (9C) more than 137 million years ago was the first step towards their eventual road to extinction. […]
The drop in temperature is thought to have occurred because high levels of CO2 were in the atmosphere which caused global temperatures to rise and polar ice to melt – a phenomenon currently predicted for Earth.



Scientists uncover first-ever evidence of the use of currency by mollusks during the Cretaceous period. Photo: SWNS

Related – “Berkeley scientists’ 1980 claim felled by growing demand to explain rapid global non-warning.”

White People Taste Best Cooked In Wok Over High Heat

They’ve been lying at our feet for thousands of years, yet the average dog has a better understanding of English than the average Englishman has of Dog.
They hear “sit, stay, down, stand, come, fetch, outside, car ride, walk, cookie, toy, cat, sic em. Good dog!”
We hear “bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. Bark? “
Our track record in communicating with other species isn’t exactly stellar.
Nonetheless, world leaders who can’t pronounce “Ahmadinejad” (much less solve him), insist on blasting “come git me!” cards into space.
I suppose there’s comfort in the notion that an alien intelligence with the technology to zoom across the vast distances between star systems would be equally progressive in their approach to foreign ecosystems and their cultures. We can hope so, anyway. It’s not like we can do much about it now – the invitations have been sent.
Still, when I look at this and then rotate it counter-clockwise by 90 degrees….
cooking_instructions_for_aliens.jpg

Reader Tips

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome to SDA Late Nite Radio.  Tonight, for your delectation, here are Saxton Rose & the Puerto Rico Symphony Orchestra performing Mozart‘s Concerto for Bassoon, II, III in 2007 (16:40). I was never before seen a Bassoon do like this.

NB: Please pick the Continue Reading link for an important
administrivia note about Small Dead Animals’ Reader Tips.

Your Reader Tips are, as always, welcome in the comments.

Continue reading →

Reader Tips

 

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome to SDA Late Nite Radio. Tonight, for your delectation and pursuant to our ongoing celebration of various forms of Pulp Fiction, here is Jack Webb (before his Dragnet days) as Jeff Regan, in The Man With The Key episode of International Detective Bureau, in 1948 (30:18, Real Player). Here are some of Jeff’s notable lines from tonight’s show:

  • It had a tired look, like an old lady who had been moving furniture.
  • He looked as happy as a sword swallower with the hiccups.
  • I put the key in my pocket, but it felt hot, like a dynamite stick with a short fuse.
  • I felt about as popular as a bald-headed chorus girl: nobody made a play.
  • I began to feel kind of relieved, like a flag-pole sitter when the wind died down.
  • I began to get an uneasy feeling, like a bubble-dancer with a slow leak.
  • They found him full of bullet holes: I guess he finally got a cure for that cough.
  • I had about as much chance as a violin player with no chin.
  • I got kind of nervous, like a hula dancer in a forest fire.
  • She was taking everything in, like a Hoover vacuum cleaner on a dirty rug.

Your Reader Tips are, as always, welcome in the comments.

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