DEVILS = Democrats Espousing Very Inflammatory Language Simultaneously
Though I’m Canadian, I have a strong sense of what many Americans are thinking these days. Here’s my condensed take on the collective thoughts of many:
DEVILS: If you don’t vote for us then democracy, as we know it, is over for good.
Average Joe: Uh huh
DEVILS: Don’t believe your lying eyes, we’re not really in a recession.
Average Jane: Uh huh
DEVILS: We’re the ones who believe in freedom of choice, not those terrible MAGA Republicans.
Average Joe: Uh huh
DEVILS: If you disagree with biological males competing against women in sports then you’re a transphobe and a bigot.
Average Jane: Uh huh
DEVILS: We think there should be amnesty for all decisions we made about Covid lockdowns, injections, and masks.
Average Joe: Uh huh
DEVILS: Parents should have no say in the curriculum taught to their kids.
Average Jane: Oh really?!
DEVILS: In fact, parents who speak out too loudly against school board officials shall be deemed domestic terrorists.
Average Joe: Oh Really?!?
DEVILS: All children must get jabbed with whatever we uhhh, the CDC, says. They’re the experts and know much better than parents what is best for children.
Average Jane: OH Really?!?
DEVILS: Elections are very complicated so many vote tallies may take at least a week to figure out.
Average Jane: OH REALLY?!?
Average Joe & Average Jane: Where’s the closest place I can cast my vote????