Assorted oddments for the weekend, including an alternative to fly spray; how to trap a python; a pipeline jam; an unconvincing explanation; and when you want to remake Alien, but you don’t have a lot of money.

All this and more.

In the pages of Vice, a woke-ling enthuses about looting and arson, opposition to which is, obviously, racist.

Right from the off we’re informed, firmly, that any perceptible reservations about looting and rioting, or reservations about the Black Lives Matter movement – say, regarding its demented far-left agenda, its racial tribalism, and the stated goal of abolishing capitalism, prisons and the police – must be taken as an indicator of being “kinda (or definitely) racist.” Wokeness is not, I think, a recipe for cognitive subtlety.

 

“Some people,” we’re told, “appear to be far more worried about the fate of a Nordstrom or Target store than that of the actual human lives of protesters.” Again, one might deduce that only those protesting with, shall we say, physical enthusiasm have “actual human lives,” unlike their victims, whose hopes and livelihoods can be gleefully destroyed as an act of righteous liberation. From local amenities.

Oh, there’s more. Lots of it.

Yes, it’s fundraising week over at my place. If you’d like to help keep a blog afloat, and ad-free, by all means do.

Including unlikely lunchtime scenes; otters versus butterfly (a battle of wits); birds on public transport; a four-dimensional toy box; and everything you need to know about Renaissance fertility weasels.

All this and more.

Including uncanny scenes; a cat’s justified vengeance; a turntable-alarm-clock combo of the 1930s; Angela Lansbury paired with teapots; and a challenging quiz for all the family: Antidepressant or Tolkien Character?

All this and more.

Or, Don’t Oppress My People With Your Happy Wedding Photos.

Including a significant yeast surplus; quality time caught on camera; a strange new order in the animal world; the pleasures of rubber; and bad news and good news in close proximity.

All this and more.

Including the Movnrovian nightly news; the concept of titty money; inflatable feast inhibitors; a lunchtime drama; and a not-so-brief history of the Roland Corporation.

All this and more.

Assorted oddments for the weekend, including Dr Lecter’s twilight years; an underwater hotel suite; how to remove a wisdom tooth; a lockdown styling crisis; and an illustrated guide to the chairs of Blake’s 7.

Because you need to know these things.

What else are we supposed to do with our days besides masturbate excessively and send a flurry of nudes?

Ciara Gaffney, a resident of Los Angeles and a “brand strategist,” is very excited – all but rendered incoherent – by a “cybersexual revolution” that, during the pandemic, is apparently occurring.

In the Guardian, of course.

Including scenes of forbidden love; the potato game upgraded; the thrill of pond water; music machines of note; and an unlikely rendition of We Will Rock You.

All this and more.

Primitive living, it turns out, is so much easier with an inheritance. And if you’re into Stone Age role-play, then spare cash and pre-built property, complete with solar panels, power outlets and rudimentary plumbing, does seem rather handy, perhaps a prerequisite. Such that our fearless disdainer of modernity can “divide her time” flying between continents as mood suits, from Sweden to France’s Dordogne Valley and back to the mountains of Washington, USA.

It’s the prehistoric way.

Oddments for the weekend, including a moon whale sighting; a witches’ brew; paranormal car crashes; the transparent jigsaw puzzle you’ve always wanted; and a lesson in the proprieties of video conferencing.

It’s been said, here at least, that when someone uses the term “emotional labour” unironically, the person doing the mouthing is most likely a bit of a nightmare. Say, the kind of woman who complains about the “emotional labour” of hiring a domestic cleaner. Or the kind who bitches about her husband and his shortcomings in the pages of a national magazine, where friends and colleagues of said husband, and perhaps his own children, can read on with amusement.

In the pages of Harper’s Bazaar, empowered feminist Gemma Hartley bemoans the “emotional labour” of getting her multiple bathrooms cleaned by someone else.

Assorted oddments for the weekend, including a high-stakes game; hardcore buffet scenes; a guide to the giraffe and its chest butts; how to build your own paper jukebox; and a bad day at work involving fire.

Lots of fire.

Assorted oddments for the weekend, including how to make a copper bonsai; when your cannon just won’t boom; old-school cloaking technology; scenes of twitching meat; and drive-through in an age of coronavirus.

All this and more.