An American sports writer pokes a little fun at his fellow countrymen, praising Canada in the process:
As of Wednesday morning here, the U.S. was in fourth place with just seven medals, a mere two gold. Canada has nine and four, respectively. The United States is also trailing Norway – which leads all nations in medals – and the Netherlands – which is in third behind Canada – but who knows anyone from Norway? Who even knows where it is? And the Dutch are too nice to hate. Or so everyone says.
Canada is a different story. They’ve been waiting for this for years, the chance to get all politely smug up there – “team’s doing well, eh?” – quietly mocking us over mogul races and dreaming that their ridiculous bastardized version of football will somehow gain supremacy.
The province of Quebec has six medals alone, so maybe the solution is simple: 51st state. The Canadians will warn that Quebec is a handful. It’s a little nutty, too prideful and always threatening to secede. This is no problem for us; it’s just Texas with poutine rather than Frito Pie.