We need a Paul Martin drinking game. I’d create one myself, but it’s been over thirteen years since my last drink so I’m a bit handicapped here. (I can’t even remember what rum tastes like.) Anyhow, the idea is to listen to Paul Martin on the news. If he says ‘very, very’, that’s one shot. If he blames the Conservative ‘hidden agenda’, that’s two shots.
And so on.
Does someone want to step up to the plate on this?
Canadian Court Chips Away at National Health Care (NYT RSS)
The Canadian Supreme Court struck down a Quebec law banning private medical insurance today, dealing an acute blow to the publicly financed national health care system. The court stopped short of striking down the constitutionality of the country’s vaunted nationwide coverage, but legal experts said the ruling would open the door to a wave of lawsuits challenging the health care system in other provinces.
The system, providing Canadians with free doctor’s services that are paid for by taxes, has generally been supported by the public, and is broadly identified with the Canadian national character. But in recent years, patients have been forced to wait longer for diagnostic tests and elective surgery, while the wealthy and well connected either seek care in the United States or use influence to jump ahead on waiting lists.
The court ruled that the waiting lists had become so long that they violated patients’ “liberty, safety and security” under the Quebec charter, which covers about one-quarter of Canada’s population. “The evidence in this case shows that delays in the public health care system are widespread and that in some serious cases, patients die as a result of waiting lists for public health care,” the Supreme Court ruled. “In sum, the prohibition on obtaining private health insurance is not constitutional where the public system fails to deliver reasonable services.”
The case was brought to the Supreme Court by a Montreal family doctor, Jacques Chaoulli, who argued his own case through the courts, and by a chemical salesman, George Zeliotis, who was forced to wait a year for a hip replacement while being prohibited from paying privately for surgery
Interesting. In the United States, many advocates of nationalized health care point to the Canadian model as an exemplar. Perhaps they should rethink that.
via OTB
Me: I’m sick of living in a country where being a thief is socially acceptable. Maybe the Saudis are onto something when they lop the hands off the bastards.
Father-in-law: That would never fly here.
Me: Oh? Why not?
Father-in-law: Think about it. There wouldn’t be a single Liberal left who could shake hands with his constituents.
Me: SPLORRRF!! [shooting tea out my nose]
“The not-so-generic ‘Libranos meeting an advertising agency executive in an Italian restaurant somewhere in Montreal’ post” (from SDA’s ‘biting Goldstein’s style’ conceptual series)
Ad executive: “Excuse me fellas, but I’m pinching here. Time for a trip to the little boy’s room!”
(Leaves phat envelope stuffed with unmarked $100 bills on the table.)
First Librano:
Second Librano (with Al Capone pinky ring):
First Librano:
Second Librano (with Al Capone pinky ring):
Third Librano:
Second Librano (with Al Capone pinky ring):
First Librano:
Third Librano:
Second Librano (playing with his Al Capone pinky ring): “…uh, someone’s gotta pick that up before he gets back, y’know.”
What Paul Martin said:
“Our purpose is to strengthen our universal public system and to provide timely access to medical services!”
What he really meant:
“We’re going to plug this loophole, and fast, because allowing affordable options for the rabble, er, ordinary Canadians seeking private health care could create waiting time problems for me with my private doctor!”
I mean, Batman…? Please! Give me Dudley Do-Right over some self-pitying billionaire in a cowl any day.
As you read this, I’m doing two things in separate browser windows. First, I’m shopping around for that Shelby limited edition turbo pacemaker that I’ve always wanted. The other is shopping around for a private health insurer in Quebec that can help me get that puppy installed.
Is there anything in the world better than Anne Murray? No. No there most certainly is not!
Mike Brock says the problem is Stephen Harper’s baggage. The Hack thinks the problem should be pinned on Harper’s baggage handlers. I’m more inclined to agree with Mr. Hack. Let’s be honest, Paul (Mr. Dithers) Martin is about as marketable as a flaming cow pie, yet he manages to pull in solid enough numbers to hold onto his spot.
It’s all about the advertising, baby. Of course, this helps when you have damn near every ad agency in Canada in your back pocket thanks to the elaborate system of federal grants the Libs have put in place.
I don’t think that Harper’s ‘baggage problem’ will clear up for whoever succeeds him because there is a veritable army of spin doctors waiting to make sure this doesn’t happen.
h/t Bound by Gravity
Charles Dickens gave us “Great Expectations”
Shakespeare gave us “Hamlet” and “King Lear”
Dostoyevsky gave us “Crime and Punishment”
Who the hell is gonna give us sex and beerSex and beer, sex and beer
Are the two things we hold dear
Sex and beer, sex and beer
Are the things we like �round hereFrom the city to the suburbs to the country
From the Southern to the Northern Hemisphere
They’re holding a tremendous referendum
And everyone’s choosing sex and beerSex and beer, sex and beer
Are the two things we hold dear
Sex and beer, sex and beer
Are the things we like �round here
— Pat McCurdy
Times, they are a changin�
I had an epiphany recently, and I have Andrew over at Bound by Gravity to thank for it. The epiphany is this:
Any Canadian political party that cannot define it�s platform in three syllables is doomed to failure.
No, really, I�m not kidding. I realized this part way through watching Andrew bend himself around like a pretzel trying to explain the Conservative Party of Canada�s latest policy proclamations. He lost me when we got to the same sex marriage issue. While I won�t go into why I don�t like SSM here, the crux of the matter was that Andrew had just put a tremendous amount of effort into promoting and defending the CPC platform only to dismiss criticism of it by telling me that (I�m paraphrasing here) �don�t think the party will actually act on something just because it�s in their official policy book.�
So here�s a question: what exactly is the point of a political party having a large and detailed platform if they�re not going to follow it?
There isn�t.
And it turns out that not having a detailed platform is incredibly effective.
They�re smarter than people give them credit for
Let me use the Bloc Quebecois as an example. The Bloc�s party platform is easily refined down to these three powerful syllables:
�Quebec first.�
As Porky Pig said, �Th-th-th-that�s all, folks!� All the Bloc has ever promised to do is defend Quebec�s interests. This is how they can pound the snot out of the Liberals over the latest budget on Monday and then turn around and vote in favour of it on the following Tuesday while coming up smelling like roses. No matter how egregious the flip-flop initially appears, all Gilles Duceppe has to do is tie taking both sides of the issue to putting Quebec�s considerations first. That�s why you hear him issuing talking points like this all the time:
�Yes, we initially opposed the budget, but only because it was not good for Quebecers. Now that the federal government has allocated additional resources to help correct the imbalance of power between Ottawa and Quebec, we are prepared to vote in favour of the budget. We will not apologize for making sure that Quebecers get their fair share of equalization funds.�
(I made that up, but we hear this kind of stuff out of him all the time.)
No one has read the Red Book
We live in an age where the average Canadian voter is going to spend as much time examining the policy positions of the various political parties as Dan Rather spent fact checking some rather dubious reports about Dubya�s service records.
Ain�t. Gonna. Happen.
Instead, Canadians completely ignore all the finely-tuned policy documents and let the media define what each political party stands for through two second sound bites. The Bloc has stepped up to the plate and defined themselves. Quebec first. None of the other political parties has been nearly so savvy, carelessly letting Canada�s media pundits do this for them. Here is how each party seems to have been tagged so far�
Liberal Party of Canada: �Get free stuff.�
New Democratic Party: �Help the poor.�
Green Party: �Save the whales.�
Three syllables AND a vision
Whatever three syllables you choose, they have to be three damned inspiring syllables that you can wrap a vision around. That people can buy into. That they can feel proud of supporting. Or in the case of Liberal supporters, syllables that tap into the baser parts of human nature.
In the case of the Dippers and the Boogers, they�ve got insta-platforms that look good, sound good, and feel good. Freeing Willy is good. Feeding a homeless guy and/or getting a single mother back on her feet is something a lot of people feel good about supporting. The Dippers and the Boogers can take any position they feel like on any issue � no matter how non-sensical or contradictory � so long as they tie it back to supporting their insta-platform. Life doesn’t get much sweeter than that for a politician.
When it comes to the Liberals, they know better than anyone else that people like getting free stuff (look at how they run their own party). It doesn�t matter that it�s not really free because it was stolen from someone else, they have learned that they can stay elected so long as they steal from a small constituency and spread the graft out amongst the largest number of voters possible (hello Eastern Canada!). The three syllables that the Grits have been using are the ones that inspire the group they need to keep inspired.
This is why it doesn’t matter whatever pieces of slime fall out of the Gomery Commission. It’s all about getting free stuff. When it turns out that people are genuinely offended by a Gomery revelation, the Grits just promise more free stuff and the polling data quickly goes back to where they want it. Sure they’ve blown away almost every election promise they have ever made and elevated flip-flopping to an Olympic sport, but that doesn’t matter. The public sees the Libs staying true to their perceived insta-platform and rewards them for it.
There is one exception to the three syllable platform, and you have to tip your hat to the Conservatives for driving into this pothole with the same unerring accuracy that they�ve managed to hit every other pothole on Canada�s political highway.
Your insta-platform can�t be negative.
Negative platforms don�t work. And since Harper and crew seem to have some sort of quota system that prevents them from issuing useful sound bites to the media, the media � and the CBC in particular � have been happy to step in and define the CPC�s insta-platform instead. Depending on what news source you�re reading, here�s how you�ll see the Conservatives defined:
- Grits are thieves
- Old white men
- Rich white men
- We hate fags
- We don�t steal
Good luck wrapping whatever policy you are trying to sell on any given day in the House of Commons around one of the above.
Lending the CPC a hand
If the Conservative Party of Canada is looking to define themselves with a positive new insta-platform, well, I�d be happy to help them out. I have voted for them in the past and under the right conditions would certainly be willing to do so again. So here�s a platform that they should consider:
�Sex and beer.�
No, really. Why not? Most Canadians like sex. Most Canadians like beer. It�s not such a hard sell, not even to SoCons and possibly even members of Alcoholics Anonymous (who would happily compromise on a can of Barq�s Root Beer). All the CPC has to do is proclaim themselves in favour of sex and beer. That�s all.
It doesn�t matter what policies they try to bring forth from one day to the next in the House of Commons, what bills they sponsor, or what bills they vote against. It doesn�t matter how wild the flip-flops are from one week to the next. If the Conservatives can prove to their constituents that they have remained true to their three syllable insta-platform -� sex and beer -� they will be able to get away with practically anything they want to.
Just like the Blocheads and the Grits are.
Don�t believe me? Here�s a challenge for you, then. Take any current policy position that you cherish, whether it be from the left or the right, and throw it at me. I�ll bet you that I can tie it to my vision of more sex and more beer for all Canadians without even breaking a sweat.
In the words of a certain funny looking U.S. president, �Bring it on!�
Welcome to the latest BSE crisis. You just had to know that Canadian farmers were going to find a replacement product to export in place of beef at some point.
For the record, I would like to head off the flame fest and point out that I am not responsible for the contents of this t-shirt (so don’t shoot the messenger, dammit). The responsible party can be found here. Go call him names instead.
I’m used to tapping out entries at PolSpy on a high speed cable Internet connection. I’m currently sitting out on my in-law’s farm and connected to the Net at the blistering speed of 28.8 Kbps (with a 56K modem, no less).
This sucks.
I am utterly amazed that Kate has been able to keep up the blogging pace that she has for the past couple of years using dialup. I’ve been bugging her on and off to get satellite for the last few months, but she’s the type who is afraid to open her wallet in case she accidentally lets the moths out. So she continues to suffer along on an Internet connection that moves slower than Canada’s parliamentary process.
An Xplornet KA band dish costs about $400.00. I’m guessing installation is around another $400.00 as the dish has to be installed by a certified technician. The service itself costs around $80.00 per month.
Folks, there’s gotta be a way that we can help Kate get herself one of these high speed satellite dishes. Would those of you can’t get through your day without a visit to SDA be willing to donate a few $$$ towards Kate’s connection if she added a PayPal Donation button to the site? Would you buy merchandise (t-shirts, mugs, posters, etc.) with her art work on it from a Cafe Press store if we help her set one up? Would you like to buy some advertising space on what looks to be a well-run, very high traffic site?
Please drop a comment if you have any ideas on how we can help Kate out here.
And you really should, because at some point the ten minute page load times are going to cause Kate to snap and plaster SDA from top to bottom with Google Ads. You may think that’s not such a bad idea, but think again. Google Ads are context sensitive.
first man:
second man:
first woman:
third man:
second woman (with grocery bags):
first man:
second man:
first woman:
third man:
second woman (with grocery bags): “…somebody tried pushing the button, right…?”
Democratic nutjob Howard Dean is continuing to make friends wherever he goes:
Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, unapologetic in the face of recent criticism that he has been too tough on his political opposition, said in San Francisco this week that Republicans “all behave the same, and they all look the same. … It’s pretty much a white Christian party.”
“You know, the Republicans are not very friendly to different kinds of people. They’re a pretty monolithic party. Pretty much, they all behave the same, and they all look the same. … It’s pretty much a white Christian party,” the former Vermont governor told a San Francisco roundtable Monday in reaction to a question about the lack of outreach to minority communities by political parties. — SF Gate
How much do you want to bet that Dean keeps a copy of Warren Kinsella’s book Kicking Ass In Canadian Politics on his bedside table? He’s certainly got all of the talking points down…
Angry? (Check!) White? (Check!) Christian/Bible Puncher? (Check!) Mouthbreathers? (Check!) Knuckledraggers? (Check!)
Dean’s approach to politics will look familiar to Canadian Conservatives who have been on the receiving end of the same kind of abuse from the lefties in our country. For all of the left’s talk here in Canada about how ‘different’ we are from the U.S., it just looks like more of the same crap to me.
That’s some difference.
A killer openly carried a bloody chain saw and various other weapons into the U.S. across the Canadian border.
Man With Bloody Chain Saw Let in to U.S. (AP)
On April 25, Gregory Despres arrived at the U.S.-Canadian border crossing at Calais, Maine, carrying a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained with what appeared to be blood. U.S. customs agents confiscated the weapons and fingerprinted Despres. Then they let him into the United States.
The following day, a gruesome scene was discovered in Despres’ hometown of Minto, New Brunswick: The decapitated body of a 74-year-old country musician named Frederick Fulton was found on Fulton’s kitchen floor. His head was in a pillowcase under a kitchen table. His common-law wife was discovered stabbed to death in a bedroom.
Despres, 22, immediately became a suspect because of a history of violence between him and his neighbors, and he was arrested April 27 after police in Massachusetts saw him wandering down a highway in a sweat shirt with red and brown stains. He is now in jail in Massachusetts on murder charges, awaiting an extradition hearing next month.
At a time when the United States is tightening its borders, how could a man toting what appeared to be a bloody chain saw be allowed into the country? Bill Anthony, a spokesman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection, said the Canada-born Despres could not be detained because he is a naturalized U.S. citizen and was not wanted on any criminal charges on the day in question.
Anthony said Despres was questioned for two hours before he was released. During that time, he said, customs agents employed “every conceivable method” to check for warrants or see if Despres had broken any laws in trying to re-enter the country. “Nobody asked us to detain him,” Anthony said. “Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up. … We are governed by laws and regulations, and he did not violate any regulations.”
Anthony conceded it “sounds stupid” that a man wielding what appeared to be a bloody chain saw could not be detained. But he added: “Our people don’t have a crime lab up there. They can’t look at a chain saw and decide if it’s blood or rust or red paint.”
One doesn’t have to be Quincy, M.E. to spot blood on a chain saw, especially when the guy is also carrying a sword, a hatchet, a knife, and brass knuckles. And looks like the guy in the photo.
via OTB
Update (2219): Making a horrific tale even worse, Michael Demmons passes on word that Mr. Fulton, whom Despres murdered, was related to him.