Liberal Party Of Canada Blog: “It’s Neato”!

More Money Than Brains 85 Comments

Speaking of blogging… this appears to be an official Liberal Party of Canada blog. I say “appears” for a reason;

Wow, look at me! I’m in “cyberspace,” where no one can hear you scream. Or maybe they CAN hear you scream but they don’t pay attention because they’re too busy looking at naked ladies. Either way, stop screaming, would you?
I for one am betting this so-called “Internet” is really going to catch on. It’s neato. Take, for example, these things knowns as “blogs” – you’re soaking in one right now! These blogs are great because they allow people with special insight to instantly convey their astute observations and sage opinions to a knowledge- starved world. Or so I’m told. Personally, I’m mostly going to use this one to talk about the lost thespian promise of Erik Estrada. Because really, someone ought to. The man had screen charisma the way Marlon Brando had neck fat.
I may also touch on this whole “who should run the country” deal we’ve got going on here in Canada.
Last night, the opposition voted non-confidence in the government and forced an election campaign that will take place over the holiday season. This means two things: 1) the prime minister will this morning be visitng the Governor-General to ask her (very nicely, possibly while eating a crumpet) to dissolve the 38th Parliament. And 2) millions of innocent Canadian children will be confronted with the onerous task of staring into the television this Christmas season and trying to tell Stephen Harper from the Grinch.
Remember, kids: one is grumpy and has a heart two sizes too small. And the other one’s the Grinch.
Travelling as part of what is officially called the Leader’s Tour (and what is colloquially known among staffers as That Plane That Hardly Ever Seems To Land in Alberta for Some Reason), I will be filing typo-ridden, thumb-pecked dispatches on my Blackberry over the course of the campaign.
Remember: views expressed on this blog do not necessarily represent the policies or beliefs of Paul Martin. Except when I write about the hypnotic musical stylings of Nana Mouskouri. We’re totally in sync on that.

Quoted in its entirety, because something tells me this thing is likely to go *poof*.

85 Replies to “Liberal Party Of Canada Blog: “It’s Neato”!”

  1. Oh look,they are not allowing comments! Pitty. I was so looking forward to posting a few well reasoned arguments against Paul Martin. Maybe they were able to see that others were thinking the same thing. Pitty.

  3. The real story behind the Fiberal blog:

    Throughout the campaign, Scott Feschuk � chief speechwriter to Paul Martin � will be filing reports from the road using his Blackberry, a wireless handheld device that enables political staffers to stay in touch, instantly communicate with the media and develop freakish, superstrong thumbs with which they can crush most European sedans. Respond to Scott’s blog at sfeschuk@liberal.ca.

  4. It’s a good thing it isn’t allowing comments.
    Who’d want anything to stand between that blog and the riducle that is coming its way?
    The libs are so groovy. I mean hep.

  10. As Coyne’s favorite Bugs Bunnyrism says:
    “What a maroon”
    Its like watching Arnold Horshack in some kind of sad remake of Welcome Back Kotter, with Paul Martin as some kind of overweight neck fat encrusted Vinny Barbarino.

  12. “Its like watching Arnold Horshack in some kind of sad remake of Welcome Back Kotter, with Paul Martin as some kind of overweight neck fat encrusted Vinny Barbarino.”
    ROFLMAO

  13. It’s cool and “cutting edge”. It’s irreverent and has attitude. It’s Poochie the Dog.
    Reminds me of thse old CBC clips where guys with bowties interview the Beatles or Stones

  14. “WELCOME BACK KOTTER THEME SONG PLAYS IN BACKGROUND AS VIA RAIL TRAIN CAREENS THROUGH DESERTED TORONTA NEIGHBORHOOD BECAUSE EVERYONE IS IN KEN DRYDEN DAYCARE.”
    Scott Brison as playing Epstein, just told some girl in the class to
    The role of Gabe Kaplan will be played by rotating members of the board of Power Corporation. The crusty principal/vice principal role is still up for grabs, but leading contenders are Craig Oliver, Dalton Camp or Joe Clark.

  15. OK, I’ll be the first one to say it: Feschuk and the blog are actually pretty funny. I can admit that because I’m quite sure the blog won’t change any voters’ minds, and funny’s never a bad thing.
    I hope he keeps writing it.
    I also hope the Liberals suffer an electoral implosion the likes of which have never before been seen.
    These two hopes are not mutually exclusive.

  16. Damian: Actually they are connected.
    What a Lip Flappin’ Hodad for the Five Finger Discount party!

  17. It may be my imagination but, I think that you folks North of the Border have a political climate that is just a lot more “vivid” than what we have down here.
    Oh, there’s a lot of talk about criminals and such but all we have are the usual bent politicians. You guys really seem to have the honest to goodness Mob in yours.
    And the dialog! Down here you have to wait for somebody over fifty to write something trenchant and/or witty. Our educational system absolutely collapsed and hardly anyone here can write a sentence that parses let alone an entire paragraph.
    That gives you a very deep bench. A prairie Mensa Maiden with a rapier like style can use both the point and the edge. Down here we’d nominate someone like that to Congress. Up there she gets a round of polite applause more befitting a cricket pitch. Also, you people seem to be able to express yourselves with a minimum of potty mouth. I guess that may be from a Rap Music deficiency.
    As I look out on our grim landscape of the half vast, I truly envy you Canadians.

  18. Hungry Valley,
    Its tough hanging in Canada if you are an Athenian Toganite, but SDA is worth it. I would make an excellent congressional page although I have not mastered the SDA shotgun etiquette.
    Only our political toadies get to go to Eastern Ivy League schools. The rest of us have to read our Plutarch second hand.
    As Beretta used to say, before he was indicted:
    “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.”

  19. I’m waiting for the first Mod Squad reference with our Governor General as Peggy Lipton and some Claren ce Williams III clone saying:
    SOLID.
    Lieutenant Greer:
    “Its pure horse. Book him.”

  22. My God! Is that really a picture of Harper on Duke McGoo’s? He looks like Opie.
    (Unintendedly continuing the bad, old television references.)

  25. Does it seem odd that you Canadians know all the characters on the American 1970’s TV series “CHiPs”, but no one in the U.S. (except perhaps Condi Rice) knows the name of Canada’s Prime Minister?
    Erik Estrada — verily, a worthy icon he. Alas, TV has been on a downward spiral ever since Erik dismounted his motorcycle, eh? (Note the Canadan dialect.)

  27. Bob Wrote: Erik Estrada — verily, a worthy icon he. Alas, TV has been on a downward spiral ever since Erik dismounted his motorcycle, eh? (Note the Canadan dialect.)
    Ahem…that was very good. I mean, verily, that was well put.

  29. But you know what’s really funny about all this?
    Paul Martin is going to be prime minister again when all this is over.
    You just know that’s what’s going to happen.

  30. His humour seems vaguely familiar. Did he write for the Air Farce too? Wayne and Schuster? Sonny and Cher?

  31. Editorial from the Ottawa Sun Nov 29th…
    Sometime before we sit down for lunch today it will become official. An election campaign will be under way in Canada and we’ll be headed for a late January vote.
    One of the first untruths that you can expect to hear as the electioneering moves into high gear is that this is an unnecessary campaign, brought on by irresponsible opposition politicians who have little regard for the electorate.
    Nothing could be further from the truth.
    Yes, there will be some minor inconveniences in a campaign that takes place in the dead of winter and spans the Christmas holiday period. And yes, some government legislation effectively died last night when the opposition parties combined to express non-confidence in the government.
    But voters would do well to remember that much of what was on the House of Commons order paper was placed there at the 11th hour by a government that desperately needed to give the appearance of doing something after 12 years of shuffling its feet.
    This is a tired government that has much to answer for as we prepare to go full swing into a campaign. A government that has tried every trick in the book to cling to power because it simply dreads the thought of anyone else assuming that position.
    This government — and let’s be honest, it’s pretty much the same gang that has been in power since 1993 — has much to answer for. It has been arrogant and reckless with our money from the start.
    Think back to 1993 when Jean Chretien was still in charge and killed a deal to buy new helicopters for the military, simply because it had been negotiated by the previous administration. The cost? Five hundred million dollars. It cost another $60 million to wriggle out of a contract to privatize Toronto’s Pearson International Airport. Again, partisan politics was the only reason to scotch the deal.
    Then there was the botched $1.4-billion heating fuel rebate program, the $1 billion in mismanaged job-creation grants handled by Human Resources Development Canada, the $101 million spent on luxury Challenger jets equipped with extra ego space for the prime minister, the billion dollar gun registry fiasco and the granddaddy of them all — Adscam.
    Unnecessary election campaign?
    Hardly.
    This is a chance for Canadians to hold politicians’ feet to the fire. To ask the important questions. And the questions really aren’t that tough, are they?
    What every Canadian demands to know first is who can they trust with their money.
    Pretty much sums it up…

  32. Comments, anyone? >>> via cnews
    Harper vows free vote on gay marriage
    OTTAWA (CP) – Conservative Leader Stephen Harper launched his campaign Tuesday by steering it straight into the electoral turbulence of gay marriage.

  34. One free vote on this is party policy. It’s been said in the Commons. No sense in not answering questions about it. Next we get the part where they only ask question about this and pretend he hasn’t answered.

  38. Air Farce and Wayne and Shuster: Examples of how Cdn broadcasting insists they know better what we should know, what we should watch and what is and is not funny.
    Sonny and Cher: Just funny.

  40. Bob, we all have ADHD, or are still drunk from celebrating the fall of the Desperate Housewhores

  41. “Cyberspace”? 1995 called – they want you to know it’s *actually* called The Information Superhighway.
    *cough*
    This is comedy gold. yyc is right – a comments section on that blog would only serve to defocus the torrent of ridicule that’s about to befall poor Mr. Feschuk.
    If this is the Liberal answer to Monte Solberg, Mr. Solberg ought to consider it a grave insult.

  42. Craig wrote:

    What i want to know is when will they stop knocking 35% of our income off of our paychecks.

    When we’re dead.

  43. craig wrote: “What i want to know is when will they stop knocking 35% of our income off of our paychecks.”
    The answer (unfortunately) is when they start knocking off 40% – how else will they pay for all their promises (unless they plan to break them and we all know Lieberals don’t break their promises!)

  45. “The answer (unfortunately) is when they start knocking off 40% – how else will they pay for all their promises (unless they plan to break them and we all know Lieberals don’t break their promises!)”
    We already pay 40% in payroll taxes here in Quebec…and 15.5% in sales taxes. If the communists in Ottawa think this isn’t enough, it just might be time for me to leave this pathetic excuse of a country. The upcoming election will decide if I stay or not.

  47. I enjoyed Feschuk when he wrote for the NP: I did not find this entry to be in the least witty or original or entertaining: the problem is not that I do not like Liberals, this entry is just plain annoying, its too contrived, I sense that Feschuk is disgusted with himself for writing this and that he does not really respect the man that pays him, good ol’ PMJRPM.

  48. COMMISSIONS
    women’s commission youth commission seniors’ commission aboriginal peoples’ commission >>>
    From liberal.ca >>>
    Commission rate?
    10% 20% 50%%%%%% aw, take it all …

  49. “straight into turbulence”
    Wow…even I didn’t think Harper would self-destruct this fast.
    “Harper made a point of raising the thorny issue even after his handlers had cut off questions from reporters.”

  50. Looks to me like everyone is just bit giddy about the election call. The aniticipation of what’s to come. Christmas etc. Lots of preoccuptaion.. makes life interesting and hard to stay on topic.
    Duke

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