Borrowing an idea spotted at The Corner – help Ted Kennedy name his memoirs,
Update: The suggestions are beginning to roll in…
“Memories of Dead Things” – My liver and my lovers
Driving Miss Kopeckne
The Bridges of Chappaquiddick County
And the early frontrunner –
TEDDY: Not even worth shooting
“…Hachette Book Group USA…”
Hachette publishes wine guides. Coincidence?
I’ll start with the obvious: “A Bridge Too Far”
If I did It.
Rodger at Are We Lumberjacks was way out ahead of this one…. His Idea “If I Drove It” complete with sample art for the cover….
Teddy Writes
Must be a whale of a book.
That’s Teddy Writes … sorry fixed the linky
My suggestion :
“Memories of Dead Things” – My liver and my lovers
Driving Miss Kopeckny
Lady in the Water
TEDDY KENNEDY:
Dad always liked them best
TED:
Last in a four-brother race
TEDDY:
Not even worth shooting
Witness to History:
A Bleary-Eyed View of the 20th Century
Letters on Corpulence
“TEDDY:
Not even worth shooting”
Way….waaaaayyyy too funny!
The Bridges of Chappaquiddick County
“All Water under the Bridge”
my life in retrospect
OMMAG!!!!!!!! You owe me a new keyboard. I just sprayed coffee all over the old one.
Instant classic!
“My suggestion :
“Memories of Dead Things” – My liver and my lovers”
“Come Hell or High Water”
Drinking and Driving and How to Get Away with it.
($5000 per copy-only the very rich need to buy one)
“A Whale’s Tale”
“Fat, Drunk and Stupid: The Ted Kennedy Story”
“Glug Glug Glug: How I Killed Mary Jo”
Chappaquiddick: The original Whitewater Scandal
I bet Teddy wishes this would all go away, but we will never forget MaryJo. How voters keep electing this guy is beyond me.
Ted Kennedy: How to get away with absolutely anything.
” Just call me OJ”
How about “I’ll Cross that Bridge When I Come to It”
or “The Two Faces of Ted Kennedy”
How about a Ted Kennedy Cookbook:
“Ted Kennedy’s Traditional Seven Course Irish Dinner, a Six-Pack and a Potato”
The Runt of the Litter
TEDDY:
On the Coattails of Family
National Lampoon had the cover art, more than thirty years ago:
http://homepage.mac.com/mr_bingley/.Pictures/tedvwsmall.jpg
Forward to “How to get away with absolutely anything.” by Bill Clinton.
I seem to remember a Volkswagen commercial with a VW Bug floating in a river, caption read “Too bad Teddy didn’t drive a Beetle.”
Just Chappaquidding! My Life Of Politics And Coattail-Riding by Ted Kennedy
“Time in a Bottle – The Chivas Regal Years”
Slime in a bottle
Wet Dreams – Memoirs of a Drunk Leftard
“The Ugliest of Things”
Don’t forget:
I SHOULDA BOUGHT THAT VOLKSWAGEN
Wassup? My Take on Political, Social and Moral Philosophies
Ted Kennedy:
“Living proof of the case against hereditary entitlement”
“Illustrating the moral vacuousness of the blue states” Subtitle: “where to run if you’ve killed someone”
PHANTOM: “I seem to remember a Volkswagen commercial with a VW Bug floating in a river, caption read “Too bad Teddy didn’t drive a Beetle.”
Posted by: The Phantom at November 28, 2007 1:19 PM”
Here’s the story on that. It was magazine parody, not a VW ad.
A close friend of mine was a subscriber, told me the whole story, and had one of those copies, one of his treasured possessions. It happened was back in the early 70’s, when VW still manufactured and sold the Beetle in the US. And this was only a few years after Chappaquiddick, which was very fresh in the public memory.
VW had a big newspaper and magazine ad campaign that year and the slogan, with a background photo of a VW Beetle floating in a pond, sought to emphasize VW’s engineering and construction quality. The slogan was “Volkswagens definitely float, but don’t float indefinitely.”
Mad Magazine came out with a parody, the same background photo but with the slogan superimposed, “If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen, he’d be President today!”
As soon as that issue came out, Ted reacted. They put the Kennedy legal machine in overdrive. Only the first day’s subscription mailings went out, about 50,000 copies, before the Kennedy machine managed to get an injunction against Mad Magazine to cease and desist publishing the parody. Notwithstanding the libel laws that say satire of a public figure is legal, the Kennedy legal machine managed to get the injunction made permanent, and the court ordered Mad Magazine to destroy all the copies it had.
“Remembrances of Things Pissed”
“American Bloody Caesar”
“Twenty Thousand Misdeeds Under the Sea”
“Profiles in Cowardice”
“Mein Gaffe”
Ted Kennedy: I can avoid grassy knolls but rivers are like magnet to a drunk
Ted Kennedy: Avoiding grassy knolls since 1963
Ted Kennedy: Treason or Murder?
Ted Kennedy: Waterboarding’s Early Years
If he cuts an album next it could include: Scotch on the Water, Summer of 69 and
Good Bye Mary Jo
I saw your lips I heard your voice
believe me I just had no choice
Wild horses couldn’t make me stay
I thought about a moonlit night
I had the wheel was good an’ tight
That’s all I had to hear for me to say
Chorus:
I said “Good Bye Mary Jo
I must depart
Sweet Mary Jo
I’ve had too much of you
I knew Mary Jo
You’d never part
Say Good Bye Mary Jo
I must depart
Kennedy pled guilty to leaving the scene of an accident and received a suspended sentence of two months in jail. How does that sound Justice Gomery?
Edward Mountebank Kennedy: My shit don’t stink, nor stick – ever.
Unsinkable Dick Dipper’s Memoirs, Unabridged.
The famous Volkswagen ad was a creation of “National Lampoon”, not “Mad” magazine. google it… http://www.coalitionoftheswilling.net/archives/2005/03/the_ted_kennedy.html
Not Far from the Tree:
The Teddy Kennedy Story
Camealot
“I’ll Drink to That” The Ted Kennedy Story
With apologies to Jimmy Buffet:
“Why Don’t We Get Drunk And Screw – That Summer on Chappaquiddick Island”
Water over, Troubled Bridges
“Ted Who?”
“Teddy, Beddy, Fleddy”
“Ted Fled, Cred Dead”
The Edward Kennedy Story – “The Politicians’ Politician”
“I know what you did that summer”
Mary Jo,
From Chappaquittic With Love
Breathless
The Invisible Woman
Days Of Slime And Roses
All Quiet On The Chappaquittic Front