26 Replies to “Airport Security”

  1. No they weren’t organized professional thieves. Granny just got distracted and claimed her luggage and a porter helped her put it in her smart car.

      1. It probably says bad things about me that this is exactly what I immediately thought of myself!!! But then again, I was Police-trained…

  2. There is a “GoodFellas” reference in here somewhere and I’m struggling to find it.

      1. Strangely enough, they died accidentally by ice pick and gunshot wounds.

        Hhhmmm …

  4. Back in my early years blogging, I posted a couple of items on airport security contracts being awarded to companies that were alleged fronts for organized crime (same was going on with taxi contracts). Can’t find them now, though I did search for them.

    1. Yes; the cops’ presser said [truthfully??] that it was $22-million in gold and other valuables from a partial theft from a shipping container and not the earlier reported $100-million.

    1. Unfortunately for the would-be gold-bug(s), a number of subtle yet vital engineering principles were neglected in the execution of this project:

      1. When designing coprolites for carrying freight, they MUST be designed to provide a suitable physical interface with the mule.

      2. Accordingly, both ends of the container MUST be designed with suitable tapering. (The reasons for this should be obvious!)

      3. Furthermore, as Mother Nature has decreed, anal sphincters tend to be circular structures (notwithstanding a certain deviant example operating near Ottawa). Therefore, it is essential that the cross-section of the container be likewise circular – given that square intrusions tend to interface poorly with round apertures.

      4. Likewise, for minimal wear and tear on the mules, the surface texture should rendered as smooth as reasonably possible, and suitably lubricated.

      5. And finally, most importantly… as everybody knows… YOU CAN’T SHINE A TURD!!!

      Amateurs.

  9. Heh. I immediately thought of the ’78 Lufthansa heist featured in the movie Goodfellas.
    If there’s an “inside” guy…you’re in a whole lot of trouble boy. Ya better hope the cops get you first.
    No honour among thieves and all.

  13. One might make the assumption that it never actually arrived in Canada, because it’s a part of an insurance scam, because that much gold isn’t exactly small.

  15. Tommy Conway: “Who’s the security?”

    Guinea mobster: “You’re looking at him”.

    Inside job. Airport security is an illusion. There’s not an airport in this country where armed with just an orange safety vest and a roach clip ID tag, you couldn’t walk up to any aircraft on the ground. You might not get past the security inside the terminal, but on the ground is where the seives are located and there’s plenty of them.

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