“Never be impressed by money.”
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a rather alarming situation; a display of girth; a brief, salty guide to the French Revolution; ruminations on the TARDIS doors; and some new humans in a hurry to see the world.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a bank robber encountering teamwork; a battle of wits; a bum sighting and subsequent chase; an unfortunate background figure; and a must-have for new parents everywhere.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a mystery involving uneven bangs; the thrill of toilet air; a display of perseverance; how to repel women – a practical guide; and the sounds of erotic washing.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a two-for-one; some incoming objects; the thrill of laundry; a rather satisfying lesson in consequences; and the volume-control interfaces you’ve always dreamed of.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including an archive of vintage pulp magazines; rust in a place you really don’t want it; a tempting bargain; the importance of reading washing instructions; and a somewhat arcane dance music genre quiz.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a broad daylight heist; the thrill of women’s basketball; an awkward threesome; shuttlecock calibration; and an excellent use of compressed air.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a somewhat alarming situation; some dissonant vibes; scenes of extreme dusting; scenes of one-handed bra dexterity; and some good news for the big-footed transsexual.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including the dimensions of various things – from the Japanese Badger to Mr Auric Goldfinger; further pronoun complications; an amphibious feat; a baring of breasts; and a thing that proved much bigger than anticipated.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including the complications of modern romance; an approximated nipple; when teeth explode; how to use your arms; and the airbag jeans you’ve always wanted.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including waiting room scenes; the thrill of modern dating; things doing things they aren’t meant to do; a question regarding downstairs normality; and a lesson for those in search of nipple symmetry.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including the face-in-scrotum phenomenon; artificial eye contact; what the magician sees; and an impressively thorough study of the chairs of Doctor Who.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including shame-cleaning via laser; an improbable crisis handled well; things that never happen but never happen quite a lot; a pipe-organ rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody; and Steed and Mrs Peel visit The Town Of No Return.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a crab pedicure; a kitten in peril; smart slime and throbbing bloblets; some tell-tale bruising; a mishap with sheet music; and when A.I. attempts to make a sign language manual.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a new dance-move sensation; a brief history of topiary; some fifty-tonne crystals; a smartwatch powered by slime mould; and a guide to the world of Japanese music sirens.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including days 5 and 6 of the machine uprising; an incriminating browser history; a triumph of elastication; courtesy in odd places; and when parking a car is a collaborative effort.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including the woo of twerking; some workplace woes; a domestic drama; a dispute over parking; and assorted telesnaps of TARDIS interiors.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including how to measure the push of a laser pointer; how to lose your shoes; an illustration of life’s modern complications; an excruciatingly simulated heist game; and a guide to Japanese portable record players.
Honey, I Finished The Coffee Grinder
About five years ago, for seven dollars, I bought an old citrus juicer at a thrift shop. It was one of those vintage small appliances which seem built to survive gas explosions and hammer attacks. When I turned on the motor with a metal toggle switch, a drive shaft spun a heavy ceramic knob that gouged out the hearts of lemon and orange halves, leaving not a scrap of pulp uncrushed. The thing worked beautifully, almost like new, so I looked up its serial number on the internet to see when the unit was manufactured, guessing it might be almost 40 years old.
Wrong. It dated to the 1940s. It was 70, the stubborn monster, still giving satisfaction with every use.
Oddments For The Weekend
Including a chap with a big one; a blockage of note; some unfriendly natives; a museum of mistranslation; a compendium of Argos catalogues, 1973-1991; and some normally small effects, amplified rather dramatically.