Including a scenic toilet; feats of camera-manning; a tribute to the barf bag; an unwelcome wobble; and waffle-stomping as an environmentalist’s solemn duty. 

All this and more.

Maybe ask SpaceX.

In 1972, the Soviet Union launched the Kosmos 482 lander, a spacecraft designed to reach Venus and land on its surface. The craft never reached Venus, however. The rocket that launched it suffered an anomaly, stranding the probe in an elliptical orbit around Earth where it has remained for over 50 years.

That five-decade stay in space could come to an end today. Kosmos 482 is expected to reenter Earth’s atmosphere and possibly crash somewhere on the surface of the planet. The probe consists of a 3.3-foot-wide (1-meter-wide) titanium shell lined with thermal insulation, designed to withstand the heat of entry into Venus’ atmosphere. The craft weighs about 1,190 pounds (495 kilograms).

You can follow the re-entry path here.

Bumped for splashdown!

The Kosmos 482 probe crashed to Earth today (May 10) after circling our planet for more than five decades. Reentry occurred at 2:24 a.m. ET (0624 GMT or 9:24 a.m. Moscow time) over the Indian Ocean west of Jakarta, Indonesia, according to Russia’s space agency Roscosmos. Kosmos 482 appears to have fallen harmlessly into the sea.

Including how to scare children; a compendium of near misses; some not entirely successful automation; and the very modern woes of the very modern slut. 

All this and more.

Including upscale ice cubes; how to repair a butterfly; a posture-optimised toilet; a crime-scene doll’s house; and the many penises of the Bayeux Tapestry.

All this and more.

Including vigorous inhaling; a vertical mouse; a fool-proof test of heterosexuality; and deep, sweet rumblings from a rest-stop bathroom.

All this and more.

Including a desirable appliance; expensive substances; secret manly wisdom; an unlovely monkey; and Orson Welles’ Macbeth, circa 1948.

All this and more.

Including the Mongolian rave scene; interspecies intrigue; when your opinions are determined by status not reality; and a drama involving missing pants.

All this and more.

Including sofa-bed wrestling; bonelessness; cartographic objects from the thirteenth century; scenes of smoke and shouting; and a notable refund request.

All this and more.

Including a tale of stolen testicles; a low-altitude ejection; an incriminating box of burglary tools; and how to build a second, tiny bathroom inside your existing bathroom.

All this and more.

Including a tale involving tentacles; the thrill of silicone legs; and a quick flick through The Journal of Lesbian Studies.

All this and more.

Including weaponised astrology; drywall toast; when the dog eats your pretend penis; a radical deployment of adhesive tape; and, obviously, transgender candles.

All this and more.

Including an uncanny happening; the crocodilian phallus; the thrill of British place-name pronunciation; and the Atom Men and the Highlanders, circa 1958.

All this and more.

Including some toilet-related suspense; a getaway of note; a brief history of Super Glue; and a beginner’s guide to nuclear physics, explained with Fuzzy Felt.

All this and more.

Including the unforeseen hazards of time travel; wipe-clean fashions; some unwelcome swelling; difficulties when boiling water; and how to build your own omni-directional bike.

All this and more.

Including visitors from the asteroid belt; a collection of Doctor Who title cards; on mathematics and the Moon; a brief history of arsenic; and eating uranium, circa 1985. 

All this and more.

Including a notable wind instrument; energetic wombs; how to fly much faster than the speed of sound; and adventures in very large rock relocation. 

All this and more.

Including large objects incoming; a problem depositing keys; adventures in modernity; scenes of alarming wind; and when starfish attack.

All this and more.