With over 200 entries, we have a lot to choose from. Let’s begin with the Honourable Mentions:
“If you like your Crimea, you can keep your Crimea. Period.” – foobert
“As soon as I find my pen you’ll be sorry.” – WTF
“The Emperor Has No Xbox…” – Glenn
Next, our First Runner-Up;
“Thank You for calling the Surrender to Putin hotline. All of our Putins’ are currently busy. Your call is important to us. Please hold for the next available Putin.” – Robert in Calgary
And the winner is!
Congratulations to Anne (not from Cornwall). Send me an email and I’ll fix you up with a good book. You too, Robert.
Original March 8th post continues below
Contest closes Sunday at midnight. The winner will get their choice of a book from the SDA Free Book Library.
Yes, Mr Putin, I am a double-handicap! How’s your swing?
“Dad I wanna quit and come home to Africa and live with you, this job over here is BS”.
“What? I said I wanted a tee time before 10:00 AM!!”
What do you mean I should look after world affairs Vinnie when its March and basketball brakets need picking, I gotta get it done to go golfing.
“Wait I thought you told me you’re were in Syria fixing things— where the heck is Crimea?”
Hold the Anchovies…can’t anyone get anything right around here…I get no rspect.
Then my TEE time is confirmed? That’s right only two. Yes Barry and Reggie. Oh BTW my security detail will have to clear the course for us.
…I want to order a chicken pizza, no cheese
only chicken with shit spread…
Ukraine is where ? You’re kidding right ? Any golf courses over there ?
Alright, I’m imagining that I’m holding the steering wheel, what next?
Thank You for calling the Surrender to Putin hotline. All of our Putins’ are currently busy. Your call is important to us. Please hold for the next available Putin.
One potato; two potato; three potato; four!
Hillary, nice to talk to you again. What’s that, you wanna get back at Bill over the Monica thing. I’ll clear my desk.
“…yes, I know you helped out in Syria, and I’ve already said how much I appreciate that. But when I said I could be more flexible after the election, I didn’t mean ‘invading another country’ flexible! Hello? V? Hello…?”
Be quick,I’ve got my Nike shirt on…
… yeah, on the 2nd page, what is an ‘Amendment’?
OK OK…You finally figured out my game plan for the country. But isn’t it conventional to handcuff us felons behind our back?
Come on Vlad.How do you think my ears got this way in the first place!
Mom, they’re bullying me
Really, you can’t come over for a beer? They have so many kinds down in the White House fridge….
Yes Aretha, I know. I’ts R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
“So the spelling is actually u – k – r – I – a – n – e?”
Tell the IRS to launch another drone. So what if he isn’t an American citizen! What difference does it make?
Hi’ya General! Shouldn’t you be calling Al Gore about the cold war? He’s got all the answers on climate since he invented the internet.
I don’t have a half brother. Don’t call here again!
I held monica by the ears bill!
Get outta Crimea Putin or I’ll punch you in the Snoot. Really I will… I’ll Draw a Line in the Sand… STOP LAUGHING… a RED Line…
You want to keep your Crimea? You can keep it. Cheap like borshct!
Dammit Kerry, I’m busy and no I don’t know where the hell Moldova is. Just google it!
Hillary, its Barry. Are there any lines after the red line? please say yes please say yes.
Dammit Kerry, I’m busy and no I don’t know where the hell Moldova is. Just google it!
If you like your Crimea, you can keep your Crimea. Period.
Now listen to this possible theme song, “I’m gonna Crimea a river over you…”
Really I won a cruise? Is it okay if I put the fees and taxes on my government mastercard?
What kind of odds can I get that no matter how much I shred the constitution Bush will be blamed, not me..
“ME” god Allah I love that word, me, me, me, me, me, me,me, me, me, me!!!!!!!!!!!!
First African American President. Russia invades Crimea. Some folks wouldn’t call that a coincidence.
Michelle held my balls like this and said “stop listening to this idiot Kerry, I am the only Secretary of State you need”
“What does that mean, Vlad, you keep calling me President Pussypants and I just don’t understand what that means”
“After the tone, the time will be 8:48 PM”
“OK Kerry, call the Canadian guy….. Harper, try and bribe Harper with KEYSTONE-xl, have him carry the ball for the U.S. against PUTIN !!”
The greens have groundhogs? Well I’m PUTIN up with far too much nonsense…
CRIMEA river…the Yalta golf course is double booked!
Cheers
Hans Rupprecht, Commander in Chief
1st Saint Nicolaas Army
Army Group “True North”
Hold on I’ll check…guys is there a Gazee here? I’m lookin for a Ben Gazee…
May I introduce the next US President:
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/03/08/Sarah-Palin-Closes-Out-CPAC-Again
Vlad, I did what you wanted now cut me some slack here.
Well I’m sorry Vladimir, I can’t talk right now, Michelle and I are off to Florida. She just loves Disney Land
The most disengaged US president ever, Shame!
Hello, Mr. Teleprompter guy? Mine keeps coming up with stupid stuff…
“Head down. Arms in. Knees apart. Knees apart? W-why do I need to keep my knees apart?”
Tell me Vladimir. Does it take both hands to drive a Russian tank?
“In my right hand I’m holding my foreign policy, and in my left, domestic. Any questions?”
“Hello, Mai li? Some Canadian politician named Jack gave me your number, said if I ever found myself too tense and overstressed, you could straighten me out. He said he used to come often to, or was it in…, your shop, and you could fix me. I’ve worn out both hands trying it my way. I’ll come to Toronto if you can fit me in.”