To kick things off, a new Liberal Party of Canada membership pin has been released.

This reminds me of the only time I’ve ever had my vehicle (thoroughly) searched while crossing the border into the US.
It was about 5 years ago. I had been to a dog show in Winnipeg that weekend, and was on my way to Minnesota, when they pulled my truck aside. The agents showed me to a waiting room, where I watched through a window as they combed my pickup truck from one end to the other. Behind the seats, under the hood, the undercarriage, and of course, the cargo. As the agent went into the grooming equipment, he discovered a small, round, metal canister buried at the back of my tack box.
As he pried at the lid, it suddenly popped off and a big white *poof* of white powder erupted and settled on the front of his uniform.
Heh.
Chalk.

Heh.

A lawyer’s worst nightmare….

Leading a parade of celebrity witnesses who claimed they were stiffed by a speakers bureau, Andy Rooney began his testimony Monday by questioning the wording of the oath to tell the truth. […] “No, no, no, Mr. Rooney,” said federal Judge Colleen McMahon, her head in her hands. “The first rule is the witness never gets to ask any questions … even if he’s a journalist.”

Rooney and others are witnesses in a fraud trial of Alan Walker. Rooney claims he’s owed $10K.

When defense lawyer Kerry Lawrence asked Rooney how he found Walker’s address, Rooney said he didn’t remember, but, “As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.”

Hat tip to Wizbang

A five-member justice subcommittee has delayed plans for a fact finding tour of Britain, the Netherlands, Sweden and Nevada cities to study various aspects of legalized prostitution.
A spokesman stated that the team may be able to save the federal treasury the expense of the tour, by interviewing Canadian experts.

For the past few days, Drudge, Neale News and Bourque have been featuring a paparazzi photo of a shirtless Arnold Schwarzenegger, alerting an unsuspecting citizenry to the shocking news that men nearing 60 years tend to become a little flabby.

Who knew?
Maybe this comparison is a little more relevant.

Bogging the moon landing…
(Hat tip Kathy K)

Late Breaking

Michael Jackson arrived late to the courtroom today, dressed in blue designer pajamas with a kangaroo pouch front pocket bulging with tasty animal crackers and pop rocks and little red toy cars that go whiiiiiirrrrrrrrrirr when you run their wheels back and forth along his supple, eager groin.

(Related: “Dickens This Week” special report.)

I don’t think Matt Drudge has much use for the Jackson trial.

PAPER: JACKO’S CHIMP TO TESTIFY… DEVELOPING…

He’s positioned it higher on the page than the NYT coverage. What a card.

For only $20,835 a month you too, can sponsor an NHL hockey player in need.

Boston Globe:

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) Iraqi militants claimed in a Web statement Tuesday to have taken an American soldier hostage and threatened to behead him in 72 hours unless the Americans release Iraqi prisoners. The U.S. military said it was investigating, but the claim’s authenticity could not be immediately confirmed.
The posting, on a Web site that frequently carried militants’ statements, included a photo of what that statement said was an American soldier, wearing desert fatigues and seated on a concrete floor with his hands tied behind his back. The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless, and the photo’s authenticity could not be confirmed.
A gun barrel was pointed at his head, and behind him on the wall is a black banner emblazoned with the Islamic profession of faith, ”There is no god but God and Muhammad is His prophet.”

A U.S. military spokesman in Baghdad, Marine Sgt. Salju K. Thomas, said he had no information on the claim but ”we are currently looking into it.”

hat tip – Stephen Taylor
More at OTB.
UPDATE – Girlfriend pleads for soldier’s release
MORE UPDATES – Bin Laden captured, Zarqawi renounces and the reaction pours in…
UPDATED: AP and Reuters to edit headline:
“Gigantic Terrorists Threaten to Behead…”.
Heh.

Linda McQuaig says today’s charade is simply about Iraq’s oil. And Barbie dolls.
*

Agreed.

I’m starting to wonder if his photo-op handlers aren’t secret Chretien Camp infiltrators…

“It’s not our job as reporters to ‘know,'” the reporter responded indignantly, “It’s our job to say stuff and things to the public.”

Heh.

I can always count on the Darwin List for material suited for lazy Sunday blogging…

And that’s the tip of the iceberg….
From my own private collection:

Time to take down the Christmas tree and recycle it.

This is freaky. I’m sitting quietly here at Dad’s computer tonight, sipping rum and surfing blogs and goddamn if some fat bastard didn’t try to get in through the chimney.
He won’t try that again.

They tried to make it work, for the sake of the kitties…
Give the animal rights movement a few more years to transform pet ownership into pet “stewardship”, and we’ll need a whole new branch of family law.