Ladies and Gentlemen – we have a winner. But first, the Dishonourable Mentions:
“Workers survey the almost completed Beyoncé Easter Parade inflatable” – kevin
“Fourteen injured at Lulu Lemon R&D Lab mishap, story at 6” – richfisher
“New CBC logo?” kuzo
And the winner is… Steve from Rockwood!
Send me an email, Steve and we’ll get your book out to you.
Police sources indicated that their officers would receive counseling as a result of the traumatic events they witnessed during the raid on the illicit sex-club.
At the Katsmeat kegel ball factory.
Forward!
Bibi’s Balls
Procter & Gamble Co shares dove on failed Charmin test results of Michelle Obama’s butt simulation manufactured by 3M. Charmin spokeswoman Hedi Wipesalot said the company is looking at a Fiberglas reinforced product just for those “special clientele”.
3M is not currently working on a new softer version of Scotch Brite.
Quilted Northern
I see the boys have been arsing around on the job again!
There’s a hanger in the hangar!
Well, let me have a crack at that
OK… As soon as I get out of here, giver another 5 gallons of mineral oil.
Moochzilla!
President Bend Over greets the Saudi king!
Doc lubricated his latex glove, not realizing that this would be his last prostate exam………………
Fuselage of dEar Leader’s new plane: Buttforce (No.) Two
Kim Kardashian’s cheeks after ass reduction surgery.
Hmmm,perfect, now all we have to do is paint it red. #LiberalBigRedTent
Now that is what I call a ”full moon”
Wow!! A full moon!!
Sorry–I didn’t intent to enter twice–I have no patience. 11:15PM is my entry!
Alright, all finished – some one phone JT and tell him his repackaged national policy is ready to launch into the public sphere.
Bill Clinton’s recurring nightmare…
#kim k. less is more.
Canada prepares for the next stage in the battle with the US over COOL.
“…you can see now how a ‘heavy day’ could force a 747 to declare an emergency.”
Sorry Rosie, The View wants to go in a different direction.
She is British! This is a sort of blimp called the HAV3 Airlander.
Hillary to Huma Abedin Weiner “Does this pant suit make my ass look big”
Dat ASS!
A starving Theres Spence struggles to pick her sweetgrass, as Justin Trudeau stands by to assist her in the weakened state.
Never a burqa around when you really need one.
Micheal Moore replacement for the “Bears” in “Charmin Add” goes terribly wrong. Crumbs everywhere!
Engineers quickly removed the “Pride Ride” from the theme park as the coaster cars just kept going in and backing out, going in and backing out.
ANAL BIFIDA
Mitosis (cell division) is divided into four periods: prophase, metaphase, anaphase and telophase…..soon to be followed by inyerphase.
The Wynne government unveiled a newly purchased sculpture to be displayed outside Queens Park. Titled Kiss Me the sculpture cost over six million dollars.
Johnny Winkler won school wide admiration as he blew the worlds largest snot bubble.
Well yes Mister President you can practice kissing this one, but I must warn you the ones in Iran are quite a bit smaller.
Transocean Ltd new blowout preventer holds up to unprecedented EPA test criteria simulating one week of methane production from Nancy Pelosi and Harry Ried.
The new design hopes to succeed where others have failed, thereby resolving the problem of dangerous,uncontrollable, leaks from the White House.
When Harry met Nancy s love child was hidden at Area 51
Shanique’s reputation in the amateur butt enlargement community was assured.
If this was Canada, every time it bent over Quebec separated.
OBUMA
“I’ve never been this close to a real one before!”
Said the very, VERY tiny man.
Michelle prepares to ride Fidels stach.
Justin speaking to media pundits: “Your efforts thus far have been nothing but so much fart gas”
Stephen Harper, long may he govern, deflates another Liberal ego.
Justin? Justin? Oh #@*#! better call Saul!
The mysterious new weapon was moved into the wind tunnel for testing. Sources claim it creates high speed winds and a terrible smell causing shock & awe to enemies.
Boeing’s motto was “Forever New Frontiers
Avant-garde artist jailed after his commisioned work appears in public for the first time cheekily dubbed, ‘Obama’s attitude towards the American voter-I fart in your general direction’
Justin displays the Liberal disdain for the working man.