Ladies and Gentlemen – we have a winner. But first, the Dishonourable Mentions:
“Workers survey the almost completed Beyoncé Easter Parade inflatable” – kevin
“Fourteen injured at Lulu Lemon R&D Lab mishap, story at 6” – richfisher
“New CBC logo?” kuzo
And the winner is… Steve from Rockwood!
Send me an email, Steve and we’ll get your book out to you.
When they told Justin Trudeau he either needed to shrink his ego or pull his head out of his ass, he told them there had to be a better way.
Hilary minus pantsuit.
DNC operatives prepare the new Hillary float for the next Macy’s parade.
“Dat ass doe!”
“Bring me another Tequila, Sheila, and lay down and love me again.”
Greek monument filled with inflatable sheep will be shipped to Germany, with note saying “Kiss My Kolotripas”
Honey, you’re gonna have to ride in the back as my balls have to ride shotgun!
Greek monument filled with inflated plastic sheep will be sent over to Germany with a note saying “Leck Mich am Arsch !”
The FED unveils its new QE4 equity dispenser to the American public.
President Obama expresses his respect to the choice of the voters of Israel.
Would you like that just looked at , or dealt with.?
This one time, at #HillaryFunCamp….
Hey Gene, is this supposed to look like a giant ass?
Bill Clinton: “You’re not fat Hill, they look fine.”
Media Party: You’re not fat Mrs Future President, they look fine.
Everything was going fine until he hit the twerk button.
And Bibi said “It may not be black enough but I’ll kick it anyway”.
The US Federal Reserve Bank is proud to announce Quantitative Easing IV.
Ready for Hillary
Hillary’s Yoga Pants are Ready
Here, we have captured 30 seconds of Question Period.
And Bibi said “I knew he didn’t have any balls.
The north end of “The Shiny Pony” While heading south.
It’s all about the base
Artists rendition of the Obamacare system
The Department of Highways put the finishing touches on the “Welcome To San Francisco” sign.
What Turdeau 1.0 and Turdeau 2.0 have in common…
The guy at Home Depot said Botox would be too expensive and suggested Dap “Kwik Seal” caulking was much cheaper and longer lasting!
Those are the biggest cloves of garlic I’ve ever seen!
“It’s a trap!”
“I thought this was Ceti Alpha 5?”
— Chekhov
Bill walks into the bedroom unannounced and discovers some —
Siamese Gooseberries?
“Hey, guys! I smell something real bad. I need a light. Someone get me a match.”
Overheard in Geneva, ” Ok Iran, this is your final warning. Agree to our terms for this nuclear deal…..or we’ll sit on you….”
Okay, this is interesting, now what’s next in the Hall of Planets? Oh yeah, Neptune.
*Paging Sir Mix-a-Lot, your expert analysis required in aisle 6, 7, 8 aaaannd…9*
Kim, is that you??
Halliburton crews have been tasked with setting up Micheal Moore’s colonoscopy.
An Obama-care spokesman said
“Halliburton DBS offers high-performance downhole tools for your hole enlargement need”
Aliens from Uranus!
Aliens from Uranus!
America’s crack problem!
Hmmm…I think we”re going to need some bigger pants.
The Fur goes on last!
My first response. 1 vote from me.
Whoa. I’m glad there are rivets holding that seem together.
A NASA engineer inspects the “Flatus”, the result of the NASA-Muslim outreach initiative to build an interstellar spacecraft, organically powered, fueled from discarded school lunches. The two trillion dollar US taxpayer funded prototype will not be operational until technical problems are resolved and a UN Muslim committee has been satisfied that all fuel is Halal compliant.
Hello Ms. Redford, the statue you ordered is ready to be delivered to the Skypalace. When would you like it…yes I am standing behind it right now…it looks just like you. What do you mean you don’t want it? Hello…MS Redford…hello…hello.
Justin Trudeau gives Canada his bottom line.
When two halves cant make a hole.
( do I have to stop or can I still play? )
“Tick Feeding On Taxpayer”
Kathleen Wynne’s steroid shot goes horribly, horribly wrong.
Justin Trudeau fails to consult doctor after 4 hours.