If Stéphane Dion gets his way on the Kyoto Protocol we, too, could follow Britain and implement a Bovine Flatulence Mitigation Program:
Farmers will be told today they could be penalised if they do not stop their flatulent animals farting so much methane gas. The environment secretary, David Miliband, will tell a farming conference in Oxford that agriculture now contributes 7% of all UK greenhouse gas emissions…
I see a brilliant opportunity for politicians, especially those from the left, to cure Canada of the cow fart problem:
They should simply inhale them. Apply a liplock to the cow posterior, which they are no doubt used to; take a deep inhaling breath. Hold it in, boys and girls . . . hold, hold . . . think of Kyoto — that’s it! We’re all saved!
Kate…
Thank you for this post.
Althought the comments are silly, the issue will be a serious one for cattle producers in Canada in one or two years. The gov will attempt to control methane emissions.
Itr the issue is already somewhat serious, we are simply making light…y’know having fun and stuff. maybe loosen your bowtie and smile
Wayward son:
1) It is not a big IF if GHGs are causing warming, the scientific consensus is overwhelming.
GHGs don’t cause warming, if they did, we wouldn’t need natural gas to heat our homes in the winter, we could use GHGs. The source of all energy and warmth is the sun, which has been pumping out more energy than normal over the past hundred years. Strange that most of the global average temperature increase of .8 degrees F over the last hundred years happened before 1940, while the major part of the carbon dioxide increase of the last hundred years happened after 1960. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Scientific fact is NEVER determined by a consensus. The Flat Earth Society maintains they have reached a “scientific consensus” that the earth is flat. That doesn’t mean it’s a “scientific fact”.
Dairy farmers will face bureaucratic restrictions on the number of dairy cows they can have. Next it will be beef, hogs and chickens, then the farmers that raise crops (start thinking food) will be told they can only plant one tenth of their OWN LAND (there is NO private property rights in our Charter of Rights and Freedoms). Just one little step now, followed by more steps, all in the name of “Sustainable Development”, we must preserve the nutrients in the ground for future generations. Of course we’ll be feeding a grossly overweight and bottomless UN bureaucracy which is NOT subject to audit according to standard UN procedures. Just imagine what will happen to the free market system of supply and demand, or does the UN plan on rationing the entire world.
Do a google search for Maurice Strong (architect of Kyoto) and see what he has planned for not only your future, but your children and grandchildren.
“Somebody convince me that Monty Python has NOT taken over control of Britain.”
“Deliberate attempt to destroy farmers in Britain”
Before the last round of foot-and-mouth disease, the British agriculture department was known as the Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food (MAFF) – or more commonly amongst its detractors as the “Maffia.”
After the foot-and-mouth affair there was a quick restructuring. To hide the skeletons and disrupt corporate knowledge and continuity, the MAFF disappeared almost overnight* to be replaced by the “new and improved” Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA).
You should know that DEFRA is now satirically known as the “Department for the Elimination of Farming and Rural Affairs.”
On a related note, the UK Department for Trade and Industry is often refered to as the “Department for Timidity and Inaction.”
Any Pythonesque “Ministry of Silly Walks” would have long ago been restructured by New Labour into something like “Department for Irregular Perambulation.”
* I do not joke. I walk by the building in Whitehall almost every day. DEFRA signs were applied overnight to cover the MAFF ones.
How did “climate scientists” gain so much respect anyway? Aren’t they just glorified weathermen? They can’t predict the weather for next month, next week or this afternoon and suddenly everybody believes their 20 year projections.
Something I’ve never heard in the debate about GHGs is if they are such a big heat reflector, shouldn’t it work both ways? Aren’t they reflecting heat AWAY from earth too?
The chief byproduct of Dione politics is heavy banks of methane from all the rotting fecial matter he spews…tax him according to Kyoto guidelines …maybe he’ll work for free or stop emitting “methane”….but for a Lieberal that is asking for an unnatural catharsis.
Better yet send him of to profiteer in China like his mentor Moe Strong.
Does this mean that Grandfathers will be banned from the “pull my finger” routine? Is that not a right of passage for most kids?
Will dogs be next? Our dog can out-fart a cow anyday. She knows the perfect way to get the couch to herself.
And the daycare kids after the holidays…You have not smelled anything until you are in a room with a bunch of little kids after they have indulged on rich and junky foods for several days.
And do not get me started about husbands…
So really…I think cows are the least of our problems.
…i still picture these lab assistants running around in a cow pasture with their pristine white smocks and big garbage bags trying to capture a cow fart, all the while trying to not slip in a cow pattie…
…then someone yells to them the methane really comes from the other end when the cows belch.
Lynn: “This whole topic is asinine.”
…not really, ok…well it more bovine…