Including 53,000 photographs of airline meals; a man with a level-10 wizard staff; full-on scenes of mentalist bintery; and the rise and fall of alien abduction.

All this and more.

Aftermath of a tornado near Jamestown, ND yesterday. Photo credit to Brian Emfinger (Facebook).

Including alarming gardening; men with long hair circa 1967; and when you’re being arrested but you still feel a need to self-narrate for likes.

All this and more.

Including a lawn-mowing mishap; a posture-optimised toilet; typing with light; your empathetic betters; and a skatepark for the blind.

All this and more.

From the comments: “what happened to that little motorcycle you used to ride and write about?”

I sold Aretha about three years ago to a vintage motorcycle dealer, and heard nothing more until this February, when an email from the UK landed in my inbox.

Back in my youth (1981/2) I owned one (mars bar colours as it’s known in the UK) and always missed it. Move forward a few years (understatement) and bikes, decided I’d look for another. July last year I found one advertised, went and viewed it and a deal was done on the spot.

It has been totally rebuilt to almost as new condition. Quite a few parts were refurbished and as many of the original’s retained. These bikes are rare in the UK now in this sort of condition.

The guy I purchased it from had sourced it from Canada, I’ve even got the old number plate JZ-396 and Saskatchewan Certificate of Registration signed by yourself in August 2012 (were you the last owner?). I googled a few things and came across your website and your diary of LC life. Looks as though you had a great time with it.

I’ve attached a couple of pictures, they don’t really do the bike justice. I ran it in last year and currently waiting for better weather (salt on our roads!) before I get out on it again.

It’s in good company in my garage as my wife’s Triumph Bonneville and son’s Ducati Cafe Racer, not to mention my BMW R9T keep it company.

She landed softly.

Including random-ass cheese umbrage; some inapt gripping; automated wok tossing; the advantages of having your own vacuum chamber; and another visit to the Ogmios School of Zen Motoring.

All this and more.

Including some fairly unambiguous hippo displeasure; a planet-wide guide to what people are doing right now; artefacts of the FBI; and a vigorously athletic use of the buttocks.

Including a scenic toilet; feats of camera-manning; a tribute to the barf bag; an unwelcome wobble; and waffle-stomping as an environmentalist’s solemn duty. 

All this and more.

Maybe ask SpaceX.

In 1972, the Soviet Union launched the Kosmos 482 lander, a spacecraft designed to reach Venus and land on its surface. The craft never reached Venus, however. The rocket that launched it suffered an anomaly, stranding the probe in an elliptical orbit around Earth where it has remained for over 50 years.

That five-decade stay in space could come to an end today. Kosmos 482 is expected to reenter Earth’s atmosphere and possibly crash somewhere on the surface of the planet. The probe consists of a 3.3-foot-wide (1-meter-wide) titanium shell lined with thermal insulation, designed to withstand the heat of entry into Venus’ atmosphere. The craft weighs about 1,190 pounds (495 kilograms).

You can follow the re-entry path here.

Bumped for splashdown!

The Kosmos 482 probe crashed to Earth today (May 10) after circling our planet for more than five decades. Reentry occurred at 2:24 a.m. ET (0624 GMT or 9:24 a.m. Moscow time) over the Indian Ocean west of Jakarta, Indonesia, according to Russia’s space agency Roscosmos. Kosmos 482 appears to have fallen harmlessly into the sea.

Including how to scare children; a compendium of near misses; some not entirely successful automation; and the very modern woes of the very modern slut. 

All this and more.

Including upscale ice cubes; how to repair a butterfly; a posture-optimised toilet; a crime-scene doll’s house; and the many penises of the Bayeux Tapestry.

All this and more.

Including vigorous inhaling; a vertical mouse; a fool-proof test of heterosexuality; and deep, sweet rumblings from a rest-stop bathroom.

All this and more.

Including a desirable appliance; expensive substances; secret manly wisdom; an unlovely monkey; and Orson Welles’ Macbeth, circa 1948.

All this and more.

Including the Mongolian rave scene; interspecies intrigue; when your opinions are determined by status not reality; and a drama involving missing pants.

All this and more.

Including sofa-bed wrestling; bonelessness; cartographic objects from the thirteenth century; scenes of smoke and shouting; and a notable refund request.

All this and more.

Including a tale of stolen testicles; a low-altitude ejection; an incriminating box of burglary tools; and how to build a second, tiny bathroom inside your existing bathroom.

All this and more.

Including a tale involving tentacles; the thrill of silicone legs; and a quick flick through The Journal of Lesbian Studies.

All this and more.