Don’t Trigger Me, Comrade: Scenes from the Democratic Socialist Convention

20 Replies to “Don’t Trigger Me, Comrade: Scenes from the Democratic Socialist Convention”

1. Just love this oldy but goldy. Hilarious exhibition of collective neurosis.

   1. You can’t write satire that good or relevant to reality.

      From the hours of the meeting (minutes is racist and disrespecting of gender):

      A show of hands please, without clapping or swooshing of course.
      How many of you fellow comrades have jobs?
      Oh was that triggering to the lazy unemployed?
      OK, how many of you fellow comrades have their own place?
      Oh, shit sensory overload for the basement bums.
      Do any comrades have actual facts to present beyond their own neurosis?
      Oops, just triggered the psychopath wing of the party.
      This could get micro violent; maybe a good cry-in is called for.
      Most of all we must destroy those capitalists who ended a thousand years of stagnant misery.
      Then the guilds and artisans can take over again. Why should Twitter and Facebook have all the fun.
      Oh, we have another speaker – please go ahead, without swooshing, comrade Musk.
      No wait – comrade Stelter says it’s time for lunch; but it’s only 10am?
      Sorry triggered obese comrades and the micro portions of food available.
      OK, let’s take our vote on shared misery. Sorry, communism is anarchic? So no vote.
      Anarchist dictator comrades please take control of the meeting.

2. OMG. I thought the South Park thing was Parody. But it *wasn’t*. It was true!

   1. Satirists are being put out of business.

   2. I’m not sure the “real” one wasn’t subversives trolling in a real meeting.

3. “The road to Wigan Pier” IRL

4. I remember seeing this now, which was why the previous South Park parody seemed familiar.

   How in the dickens do these “comrades” get anything done? They’re so pre-occuppied with not offending each other or invading each other’s “space” that they don’t have much time for their agenda.

   1. Now I am confused. Is South Park real and people were mocking it?

   2. BAD – The funny thing is, South Park didn’t even bother to rewrite the dialogue. It’s too funny on it’s own.
      I also remembered this excellent 2019 YouTube commentary by Paul Joseph Watson on this sad victimhood pronouns festival. He has great lines like “For someone who is suffering from sensory overload he sure does shout a lot” and “Quick point of personal privilege, how in the holy F@#K do you even get through a normal day? How do you even manage to leave your house?” He was also prophetic “2020 really is, going to be an absolute s@#%show”.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1AXReZgFxw

      1. They get through the day on your and my tax dollars smoking legal or illegal marijuana watching porn and playing video games. Rinse and repeat day in day out week in week out year in year out decade in decade out. Just look at your tax bills if you doubt it which I am sure that you don’t.

5. Is the second guy, the gendered pronoun guy John c. Riley?

6. They are all nuts. We really do need an extinction event and start all over.

7. Poetic Justice would be that meeting invaded by a BLM and Antifa protests.

   1. I think the ‘ loud triggered noise ‘ guy was ready for that.
      He has a walkie talkie in his shirt pocket, you can see the antenna sticking up.

8. They need to be constantly and comedically mocked at every turn. Triggered into catatonia would be good.

9. “Triggers my anxiety..!” “Guys..!” is forever a classic.

10. Says the noise is causing him sensory overload and triggering his anxiety; whines, “why is no one clapping for me”, when he speaks.

11. This is the result of closing the asylums.

    1. You mean to say that isn’t the asylum?

12. Something tells me there are more “aggressive scents” in that room than is normal (or healthy).