A column by Globe writer Leah McLaren, in all it’s magnificent entirety, because the Globe has since yanked it.
Watching the dispiriting moral fumbling match that passes for a Conservative Party leadership campaign this spring, I’ve often found myself reminded of the time I tried to breastfeed Michael Chong’s baby.
To be fair, at the time I didn’t know it was Mr. Chong’s baby. I didn’t even know Mr. Chong – who is now, as he was then, the Conservative MP for Wellington-Halton Hills, and currently the best pick of an otherwise sad litter for CPC leader.
The breastfeeding incident occurred at a Toronto house party. It was an in-between sort of evening, neither a rager nor a formal dinner party – the sort of casual and expensively lubricated early-evening-into-night gathering that exhausted people in their 30s with small children tend to favour.
I was about 25 and did not have a baby – or even a boyfriend – at the time.
And I was broody in the way that young women in their late 20s often are, before they realize that turning 30 is just the beginning of something rather than a vertiginous cliff off of which unlucky young women fall to die alone and be forgotten.
I was feeling a bit glum and distracted, so I’d wandered upstairs in search of a bathroom in which to reapply my lipstick and check my phone for random texts from inappropriate men (this was before Tinder). I walked into a bedroom with coats piled high on the bed and noticed that in the corner, sitting wide awake in a little portable car seat, was the cutest baby I’d ever seen. On the table beside him was a monitor. I smiled at the baby, the baby smiled back. Now this was a connection.
I leaned over and gingerly picked him up and then sat down in a chair to give him a cuddle. He felt gorgeous in my arms, all warm and lumpy and milky-smelling in the way small babies are. Somehow, my pinky finger ended up in his mouth and I was astonished at strength of his sucking reflex. “C’mon lady,” said his eyes. And I suddenly knew what he wanted. And I of course wanted to give him what he wanted. The only problem was, I had no milk. But would it be so bad, I wondered, if I just tried it out – just for a minute – just to see what it felt like?
I looked at the baby monitor as if it might be watching me, but thankfully this was before monitors had cameras.
Then slowly, carefully so as not to jostle the infant, I began to unbutton my blouse. Just as I was reaching into my bra, a shortish man with in a navy suit walked into the room.
“Oh um, hello!” he said, in a friendly, upbeat tone that could not entirely conceal the fact that he was flummoxed to see me sitting there with my top half unbuttoned holding his baby.
“I see you’ve met my son. May I take him now?”
The man, of course, was Michael Chong. I never caught the baby’s name. Mr. Chong took his son, bade me a swift and polite goodbye and I didn’t see him again for the rest of the party – probably because he left sensibly with his family an hour later while I no doubt hung around talking nonsense until after midnight.
I realize now that it was wrong and rude and frankly a bit weird of me to think I could breastfeed a stranger’s baby just for kicks. I hate to think what would have happened if Mr. Chong – or worse, his wife – had walked in while I was in the act.
I think if I found a strange woman – one who was both childless and milkless – nursing my baby at a party I’d be inclined to give her a swift smack upside the head and then call the police.
Having said that, in the years since having my own babies, I have two or three times breastfed my friends’ babies and let my babies in turn be fed by them.
And here’s the odd thing I found about breastfeeding another mother’s infant: It doesn’t actually feel odd at all. Feeding my friend Kiki’s son Diego and my friend Rosie’s daughter Delilah I had the same thought: Yep, I could keep this baby – or any baby – alive with my body if I really needed to. And the babies were equally blasé about the whole thing. “You’ll do, in a pinch,” they seemed to be saying as they burrowed down for a snack of un-mother’s milk. It was heartening actually and even a little bit moving – like that viral video a few years back of the actress Salma Hayek breastfeeding an orphaned baby in Sierre Leone. She was astonished at how easy and normal it felt and so was I.
My fleeting co-feeding experiences made me wonder why, with all the fuss that’s made over the health benefits of breastfeeding, wet nurses (i.e., lactating nannies) aren’t more of a thing. I mean, if you could afford it, why not have an extra pair of lactating boobs around for the crucial first year? Those 18th-century aristocrats had one thing right.
In any case, this is all to say that breastfeeding is a lovely and marvellous thing, as is co-feeding and everyone should do it. Just don’t try it with a strangers baby in a bedroom at a party if you are 25 and stupid.
Apologies to Mr. and Mrs. Chong.
How did Gordon Chong manage to get pregnant in the first place?
She was 32 and her father was a Liebral minister, now to figure out who is the stupidist her or Chong….this is all about the Cons. electing a new leader. My thoughts on the subject!!
I should have asked earlier.
Is there a female in the race I could vote for? And hope she’d win?
Or go with which off the males?
I really don’t want to hear one more prime minister with a Quebec accent.
HELP!
gellen: Kelli Leitch, Andrew Sheer and Erin O’Toole just a few suggestions of Conservatives to think about electing.
Yup, I was right. Michael Chong’s office confirmed the correct date.
I’d dearly love to see her lose her job for this, but it’s not going to happen.
I’d dearly love to see her lose her job for this, but it’s not going to happen.
She would never be fired. If she did lose her job, it would be covered up with the explanation that she left to “pursue other interests”.
Thanks a lot, Lyn. I see Mark Steyn interviewed her so will listen to it.
Dingoes???
FWIW & IMHO: Kellie Leitch is the only who hasn’t disqualified himself / herself by supporting some policy that basically kisses progressive / global warming / carbon taxing / muzzie-loving butt! She isn’t perfect, but she’s the ONLY candidate that is willing to stand up to the concentrated hate mongering of the MSM to defend the values that make Western society far superior to any of the backwards $h!tholes that are run by mo’s minions.
Yup, I was just about to post that. Faith Goldy nails it perfectly.
Evidently the MSM’s willingness to hammer the Conservative Party of Canada has reached a new low when the Grope and Flail publish garbage like this. This ‘reporter’ not only exposed herself but also the editor that cleared this for publication to be the political hacks that they are. One thing inquiring minds would like to know is that if, at the age of twenty-five going on thirty she was attempting to do this to ” – just to see what it felt like?”, then evidently she had never been in an intimate romantic relationship with anyone. Perhaps this intimate glimpse into her psyche casts a revealing light on her ‘liberal’ ideals!
Well it must be okay because another woman journo says so:
http://www.torontosun.com/2017/03/27/lets-stop-making-breastfeeding-such-a-big-deal
Brad trost. O’toole, and or anyone that fully supports gun rights and wants to gut the gov. I won’t vote for a woman ever to lead my country sorry no offense to Liech . Brad trost is great, but he is getting over looked. He speaks well , is well informed and from sask.
Having said that I will vote may 27 for my guy I bought a membership, and I will support every leader except Chong if they win.
From the end of the article: “Shannon Miller was once a journalist.”
I see no evidence of that from her column.
In case you thought this was an isolated train wreck: http://torontolife.com/city/my-doomed-marriage/
Leah McLaren needs to seek professional help.
Read a fair amount of it. Too long and the typical fare of the self-absorbed a-hole. Also…it was written in 2013. Not one comment:)
I used to think you were JUST stupid, you are beyond stupid. There have been some excellent female leaders in the world at various times, SO why would you not vote for a female????
And, do you still beat your dog???
His name is Patrick Brown and he is not against anything Wynne does. He agrees with her on school curriculum, carbon taxes, islamophobia, LGBTQWERTYLOL rights etc. He is just somewhat more fiscally sane then her. But yes, you’re right he has all the charisma of a wet roll of toilet paper.
Conservative party leader candidate Maxime Bernier is telling gun owners that when he is Prime Minister they “won’t have to worry” about becoming a criminal overnight or their firearms being reclassified.
https://canadianfirearmsblog.ca/maxime-bernier-firearm-owners-wont-worry/
Sorry to keep bothering about who I should support. I really liked Kellie Leitch’s interview with Mark Steyn.
My former MPP emailed saying he’s supporting Erin O’Toole. What I’ve heard him say I liked. Maybe I should see if I can find an interview and check him out further.
Prime Minister O’Toole…hmm, doesn’t have much of a ring, does it?
(Kidding, kidding!)
Bernier has the best chance of dumping Trudeau. He will steal enough of the Francophone vote to make a difference in every riding across Canada; no other candidate can do that. He has sensible firearm policies in his platform and none of his other policies are problematic.
Those who say they wouldn’t vote for him because he’s French are foolishly myopic and can’t see the big picture.
Why does she insist on airing her dirty linen in public? Has she no sense of discretion?
Screwball women like her are one reason I never married.
Mop and Wail? People read that dirge? It’s quite something to realize, that at one time, it truly was a fairly solid business read, especially on the road, even in the early internet age, mid late 90s or so.
FF to today, and we have Lib Lefty Program rag and bird cage liner. The idiocy that passes for journalism from the aforementioned leftist, unionized propagandists, plus don’t forget Gerry Kaplan, and former sports reporter Gary Mason, who has also been lobotomized, is something to behold. And to further drive away traffic, they have eliminated comments now as well.
The dinosaur media doesn’t get it, they think their paywalls will force people to subscribe. Instead it drives people away. Just as well, the stories and columns are drivel and propaganda. Used to read it all the time 10 years ago. Now? Read what, Morontariowe’s newspaper? NEVER
Screwball women like her are one reason I never stayed married. Why buy a cow when fresh milk is always available when you need it.
Hi cgh,
Thx kindly for that. I had always wondered why she got hired, and (indirect) nepotism seems to work at the Gloob and Entrail as well as nay other excuse/reason. Thorsell bl*w dead bears. I was in TO at that time: it was a place filled with thousands of entitled blondes just like Leah. So glad I left.
Yours in Christ,
Niall from Winnipeg
(which, BTW, was the byline location of a dreadful self-involved hit-piece that Mclaren did on this fair city back in say, ’99 for the Mop & Pail: after that I never took her seriously, nor really ever read her again).
PS: Saunders and Southey are just plain insane unreadable incoherents. 😉
Put those two articles together and a picture emerges of a deeply damaged woman unable to acknowledge how her own choices have led to her unhappy state, yet on some level aware of it.
I think it’s a cry for help, personally.
GELLEN ,
Brad trost has an excellent policy platform. He is also an economist, he is also a gun guy ,and pro life which I think Canadians want to talk about .
As I said before I won’t vote for a female to run my country, not because I don’t like women , There have been several excellent female leaders that stood up in Our history that’s great for sure but I find often times women are easily manipulated and given the current atmosphere we need someone who will cut through the bs and stand all alone if necessary in making the drastic changes to canada in order to save our dominion.
We are in deep financial trouble, social trouble , moral trouble, and economic trouble I cannot believe our dollar has not imploded to the euro or the green back , I am also surprised our housing market across the country is still going as strong as it is its utter insanity.
As I said before I will vote for my candidate but if it’s not my guy that wins the leadership I will support any candidate in a federal election except Chong
tooner. it’s politics. it’s ALL about image and charissssssma. JFK made the official start of that unwritten rule.
regarding breastfeeding, isn’t that just more cultural appropriation? from the ‘primitive’ societies?
my sister, a retired lawyer, breastfed my nephew until about 6 or 7. he wound up graduating in engineering. you know, one of those USEFUL areas of study.
no wonder the g&m pulled the article. kinda creepy even in these times
@Paul in Calgary: I will listen to him. I don’t like debates so heard none of it. I am very impressed with Kellie Leitch but will listen to the others. I want the person I cast my vote for to be the winner as this is such an important election (upon which we all agree).
@historybuff: one thing about breastfeeding, people believed (during the 1800s and maybe a bit later) that a nursing mother wouldn’t get pregnant. In those days you most likely hoped for 2 years’ grace. In my own personal case, my baby was starving, but I always held him as I fed him.
Reading that your sister breastfed till her child was 6 or 7 made me feel really creepy. Seriously creepy, but not casting any aspersions on her herself.
Think of all the brilliant people whose mothers could not breastfeed for that long because (and it was common) she was pregnant within a year-and-a-half. That blows your theory I’m afraid.