“YOU GUYS ARE RUINING MY BEARD FETISH. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve loved a man with a beard. To me, they meant strength, power, MANLINESS. Someone who could protect me. Unfortunately, you guys have turned it into a fashion statement. The beard has turned into the padded bra of masculinity. Sure it looks sexy, but whatcha got under there? There’s a whole generation running around looking like lumberjacks, and most of you can’t change a f**king tire.
Look, I get it. I really do. I understand the motivation behind your beardedness. In fact, I even pity you. Thousands of years of evolution priming you guys to kill stuff, and chase stuff, and f**k stuff….and now what? You’re stuck at a desk all day. No battles to fight. No wars to wage. So you assert your masculinity the only way you know how. You brew beer. You grow some hair on your face. I’ve seen you, hipsters, sitting in downtown eateries, with your rock chick girlfriends, dipping your truffle fries, trying not to get the aioli in your mustache. I’ve seen the quiet desperation in your eyes. I know you’re screaming into the void.
But I still hate you for it. You’re confusing me. It’s now on me to suss out who is the real man and who is the poseur. Sadly, I fear most of you are the latter. Before this explosion of whiskers on trendy men everywhere, if I saw a bearded man it was safe to assume certain things about him. Like, he probably owned a hammer. Or washed his hair with a bar of Irish Spring. His beard was probably scented with motor oil and probably had remnants of last night’s chili in it…..continue reading
Go to anywhere where there is an Amish community. Those men have beards for a reason. It signifies that they are no longer boys, but are men who have taken of the responsibilities of marriage, raising a family and supporting them.
My jaw fur is there primarily as insulation to break the cold winds coming off the lake in ice fishing, salmon and deer season – summer it goes. I hste combing the bugs out of it after a scoot on the Bonneville.
Beard in summer = pussboy. – watch for JT to be sporting one during the summer BBQ circuit shmoozing season. (BTW) in that “fight?” with Brazeau he punched like a girl. I just bet he’ll have some puss hipster chin fuzz to make the pot head bong fests this summer.
So called “men” are getting “facial hair transplants” to fill in their weak beards, so they can sport the trendy “hipster” look. This is very common in the Brooklyn, N.Y. area. The transplant story came out, around the same time Spike Lee was b*tching about hipster whites, moving into Brooklyn and changing the culture.
At the suggestion of my grand daughters, I grew a beard about a year and a half ago for that November thing. With that nose of mine, I looked like a bald eagle sticking his head out of his nest, so I shaved it off. Now I just look like an eagle without a nest.
I dunno. I don’t have a beard, although I used to, and I still have a mustache. I can install a faucet, build a bicycle wheel, change the oil and filter in my car (and, on my previous car, do a complete tune-up), stop a toilet from leaking all over the floor, sharpen a knife, axe, or chisel, and things like that. I’m also a good cook, and I know how to change a diaper. A lot of women hate me because I’m self-reliant.
I don’t like shaving twice a day, so maintain 1-3 weeks growth length and trim it every few days. I’m city bound now, but can do most standard household repairs and standard auto maintenance. I’m self reliant, and don’t want to obsess about my appearance.
There are those who will use scented oils to baby their clean shaven faces, and those who will use multiple types of beard oil to get just the right appearance there too. Hair implants, colouring, addition of studs or earrings, botox or MANicures – I can’t be bothered. I’m me. I’m not going to spend a lot of time pretending to be someone else, or worry about detailing my appearance. As long as I’m warm, I’m happy. As long as I keep moderately clean and dress to cover what others don’t want to see, those around me are happy. Those who are self-obsessed tend to not be the sort I enjoy spending time with anyway, regardless of presence or absence of a hipster beard.
School, feminist’s and the left have been squeezing the ‘manliness’ out of our boys since the 60’s.
Ye reap what ye sow.
Got a hoot outta the part about washing hair with a bar of Irish Spring – cause that’s zactly what i do! Cereal. The odd time i warsh.
And i also own a hammer, alas just one tho. Saw one the other day at the hardware store, looked like the Hammer of Thor – really got me thinking…
I agree doowleb with the school part. I live in a small town. The local school has just over 100 kids from K-12. There is only 1 male teacher left on staff. Young boys are taught to be girly boys right from the start. It makes me sick to see the soft feminine hands of a 16 year old when he should be tinkering under the hood of an old beater.
I don’t have a beard these days, I got over that phase when I moved out of Mum’s house. Because its impossible to get a job as anything but a bouncer when you look like some kind of berserk Viking. The bouncer job has limited advancement potential.
These hipster children don’t even manage the hippy look, they’re more like girls with cute little beards and a pink plaid fedora. They even chatter like girls. Its supposed to be “ironic” or something, but it just looks… boring.
Its almost a waste of knuckle skin punching one of them.
I put a beard on for movember , unfortunately I look more like Uncle Si now. and not jolly enough to be santa. so it comes off every December
This is a result of our leftist government’s teachings – institutionalized pussification. It is particularly enforced in the public schools where being female is the paradigm. My child even told me about a gender-switch day where kids came dressed as the other gender. Then there is the wear pink day for anti-bullying, all the pro-homosexual posters in the school corridors, no running at recess… etc
I just got the notice below in my child’s school newsletter…
Boy Smarts – Effective Strategies for Parenting Boys
Parents are invited to hear Barry MacDonald, founder of MentoringBoys.com and author of Boy Smarts and Boys on Target on Thursday, May 1st at 7:00 p.m. in the auditorium…
There are no strategy seminars for parenting girls.
Looking unkempt by not shaving, skin tight jeans, silly little slippers, a faggy scarf w/o a coat, piled around the neck like some kind of Arab, topped by a silly toque in the middle of the Summer? We expect women to be slaves to fashion, we expect men to look like men.
The article is quite funny (and true) but hilarity ensues in the comments.
Apparently, one of the things the article failed to point out about bearded hipsters is that they lack an irony gene. The faux outrage is precious.
Heh… ‘I have a really furry beard… and and… I use my hammer twice a day… and and I have an Allen wrench… I’m so handy, I kill things and eat them..’ Don’t try so hard guys.
There is something wrong with young men today. They grow up without their Fathers. I was just thinking about something today and a thought popped into my head: ‘What would my Dad do?’ For a lot of men who have grown up in the past 10 years, who have watched their mother chew through two and three “Dads”, that question wouldn’t occur to them. And yet for me, my father resonates within my brain. He is a singularity for me, I have only one. I still watch him today, 70+ years old, doing things that I can’t or won’t. I know I don’t measure up and I know I won’t stop trying to measure up. Alot of young men today are completely without that motivation. Not all, but a large and growing number.
Yeah well, I got over a lotta that stuff, when I had premature male pattern baldness at 21.
Yeah idiots and folks in general initially evaluate ya by yer appearance, yer car and so on….
So? Learn to judge THEM by their reactions….
In college/university the math/science profs were clean shaven and the arts profs had beards….
Nikki sounds like a user……
I’ve had a beard for 40+/- years, uninterrrupted. I keep it short and neatly trimmed.
Wifey’s never seen me without it, and that’s the way it’s going to stay.
Really don’t give a f**k what someone else thinks about it.
(Spent my working life as a contractor, so yeh, I have a few hammers and Allen keys…)
If Hydrogen Sulfide wasn’t such an issue, there would be many more beards walking across western Canada. Even if we were allowed to grow them, I would opt out since I’ve tried growing one before and it was extremely itchy. A store bought face warmer is more comfortable.
It gets worse.
Spooning for success: Over 95% of straight male college athletes admit to cuddling their teammates in bed
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2618085/Spooning-success-Over-95-heterosexual-male-British-athletes-admit-cuddling-teammates-bed.html#ixzz30ZfoUNBw
I’m beginning to wonder if the person who wrote the letter is calling the kettle black.
She admits that the beard is a status symbol to her, but then slams anyone she deems unsuitable for having one. In my opinion status symbols are fashion, and status symbols have always represented some sort of elitism.
My heritage is exclusively Mennonite and Hutterite and I couldn’t give a flip about a beard or what someone believes it represents.
Last year I heard about “Hipster Hunters” and initially I had an issue with them, but not anymore. If hunting will get you off the veganism and past the nanny state gun laws than have at er. Just don’t hunt in my area, already too many guys.
BTW: The guy in the article isn’t me, but he sports a beard.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/hipster-among-younger-albertans-embracing-hunting-1.2356289
Every libtard over 50 here has a beard. It is really boring.
I grow a beard for a number of reasons , protect from the cold,i can,i don’t care what people think,it IS manly like me,(i just dropped the tranny in my f-350 and dropped it off to have it fixed then i re installed it myself as well because i’m to cheap to pay for labor i have 2 good hands a sharp brain and a strong back),i like it, my wife likes it,my daughter(6) absolutley loves it.my ex complimented me on it and yes i do get food in it i do not comb it i do not do anything to it. however i recently started working in the oil patch and they don’t allow it so it’s gone and it bugs me!!
beards and mustaches used to be very attractive to women,but the more girly men look these day’s the more women like them. so yeah beards and manly men are a dying breed.
example the guy on big brother canada was a manly looking man a big ol beard big muscles …..more queer than a $3 bill. the beard and manlyness has been hi jacked. so when ever i go out to parties i make sure i talk about my guns,or hunting ,or working on my truck/car or what ever. let the ladies know that i am a manly man.
JM; Ok, that’s just creepy *shudders*…
I hate to break it to them, but ‘that ain’t straight’!
Coming out (no pun intended…but I’ll take credit anyway) of Briton, nothing in that article surprises me. Somebody should just pull the plug on that island.
‘Spooning for success’? How gay is that?
At least there’s therapy for that in the sidebar.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2618803/Kate-Upton-says-butt-doesnt-attention.html
I’ve worn a mustache since my early twenties- originally a Fu-Manchu, but gradually receded to a regular ‘stache.
When dental surgery caused a numbness in my chin for a while, I decided to try a beard, kinda goatee style, but soon realized it made me look like I’d been blowing on a dirty pipe! Off it came.
So now, my beard is confined to my chest, and that is staying, regardless of current trends!
Real men don’t wear earrings.
Yeah, what about the liberals progressives social workers Volvo drivers etcetera who have always had beards?
Also, that “spooning” story sounds like a hoax.
The only reason a man should wear an earring is if he’s a sailor and has gone around The Horn.
If you google up the author on that spooning story you find he’s just another fag with a wet dream.
That was funny but women wanted it this way and sculpted these pajama boys since they emerged from the womb. Thank a feminist and all the left, which ever of the 57 genders there are now.
I’m not too fond of women with beards, even if they use Irish Spring.
I have worn a full beard since college and I don’t own a razor. I have a full compliment of hand tools and can use them with some dexterity. I can butcher a cow, fly an airplane, drive a truck, shoot a rifle preach a sermon and I have even built a house. I have been happily married to the same woman for 40 years, fed and raised a ton of kids. What’s more I don’t care what colour your skin is or what kind of plumbing you have – Can you do the job required is all I ask.
This furry faced retired heathen enjoys his beard… and so does his wife. And yeah, it’s grey.
Real (bearded) men don’t post to stories about wussy beards…
oops
The grocery store is too mainstream for the guy in that article.
I look like a berserk Viking and I have a really good job. I’m just not allowed out in public.
I have worn a full beard since college and I don’t own a razor. I have a full compliment of hand tools and can use them with some dexterity. I can butcher a cow, fly an airplane, drive a truck, shoot a rifle preach a sermon and I have even built a house. I have been happily married to the same woman for 40 years, fed and raised a ton of kids. What’s more I don’t care what colour your skin is or what kind of plumbing you have – Can you do the job required is all I ask.
That says it all… best comment yet. I’m in the same category; the beard got grayer as my brain got smarter.
“Too soon old, too late smart.” — Gordon Livingston
So it is official, queer, straight and all men in between can dawn beards. Now whenever I see a man with a beard I will have to judge him on a person by person basis.
I wonder if she can cook, sew, clean a house, bare children, look pretty, ect.???
I think I’m safe. I know what an allen wrench is and I have absolutely no idea what macchiatos and Americanos are, much less what the difference is between them.
Yupper, I have a full beard, and have had for about 45 years, and I let the women decide whether I’m a man of not:-))))
Lest it be forgotten, Ladies, the default male condition is a hairy face (and ass). Shaving it (and/or any other hairy parts)is the cop-out; not the other way ’round.
We should call this a draw before we get into what the distaff side does for fashion. It’s a waaay longer list.
I’m 56 and have had a beard off and on for years; off for mostly job requirements. Currently 10+ yrs. hirsute. Consider that shaving is maybe 5 minutes a morning times 6-7 days week; that is 30 minutes+, times 4 weeks a month, 2 hours/month minimum. 2 hours per month times 12 months gives 24 hours a year; … a full sleepless day a year.
If I live to 82 years old:… I smoke and drink, jaywalk, don’t diet or exercise, ride a bicycle, work manually, drive a light truck, walk under ladders, no RRSPs , am single and walk and live in an urban paradise etc so maybe 82 is optimistic. Started shaving at 16 so 82 years of beardlessness gives 2 months 6 days of time better spent sleeping in. Even as it is I have lost close to a months worth of Morpheous.
The Salvation Army thrift shop is well worth checking out. 15 years ago I found an old barbers electric razor and kit for $3.; works wonderfully. Every 3 months I use the 3/8″ tip to shave my pate and face, 6-7 minutes tops.
Sincerely,
Robert Albin
Calgary
Every time I see a beard I’m just so reminded of something unprintable that is an alternative way of describing a kitteh.
Cute it maybe, but what has been seen…
I quit shaving the day Nixon resigned. My beard is short, I trim it every week (trim my hair at the same time). I’ve had bosses who refused to promote me ‘because I had a beard’. I don’t care. I’ve had pretty girls decide they don’t want a man with a beard, so ‘will you change for me?’ No, I wont. In the immortal words of Popeye the Sailorman, “I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam”. Take it or leave it.
My son who also sports a full beard recounts a funny story how he was banned from an oil refinery site because he refused to shave. His clean shaven partner was invited in but the partner could not complete the work alone. My son observed that although his partner was clean shaven the company did not provide him with any kind of respiratory device. When my son pointed this out the answer was that there was no need for a respiratory device because there was virtually no risk of H2S. My son then asked if they really wanted the job done and the company rep gave my son a sheepish look and let him get on with his task.
I joined the Navy at 19 and shaved off what beard I had. During the next twenty years, I fought in three wars and did countless other things that most people fortunately don’t dream of. I kept shaving afterwards out of habit until I hiked some 300 miles of the Benton MacKaye Trail (the AT is too easy and too populated). I think I can wear whatever the hell I want on my chin. Oh, and before I let my nephew drive my car as practice for his driver’s test, I made him change the tire.
Simple rules:
1. Check the finger nails.
2. Combed beard = pussy
3. Shoes
Luckily I work on power plants and live in Idaho, and hang out with nothing but jeep guys, so I don’t have to worry about the hipsters.
RE: The Beard
Grew it four years after I retired from 27 years in the infantry.
Not only can I change a tire, but I can shove a planeload of paratroopers out of a C130, rappel out of a hovering chopper, hump an 80-pound ruck for weeks on end and nail a target the size of a human head at 100 meters, consistently.
The beard protects my chin from hot ash from the cigars I’m always chewing on when outside.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
[You haven’t lived until you’ve almost died.]
”. . . and most of you can’t change a f**king tire.”
Bearded Hipster Pajama Boys . . . can’t even drive a stick shift !
In another ten years they’ll all be trained to sit down to pee !
But the young men never had a chance. Between the homes with no fathers, being raised by angry single women and public schoolteachers who hate the masculine, the boys never had a chance.
In winter the beard keeps cold wind off my face when riding the motorcycle. In summer, well… shaving’s a hassle. I just mow my face every couple weeks with a Wahl.