I Know What You’re Thinking – small dead animals

They still allow trampolines in Britain?
(Indeed – it does sound a lot like a Pride parade float.)

25 Replies to “I Know What You’re Thinking”

I guess Matthew McConaughey should be glad he doesn’t live in Britain, then. Naked bongoing just has to be a worse offense than naked trampolining, since it’s so much more violent.
I mean, seriously? Sex-offender registry for jumping naked in the back yard? Apparently at a time of day when no one else was likely to be around, too, which makes this even more silly. I would ask if these people don’t have something better to do, but the answer seems glaringly obvious.

He should have told them he was gay. They’d have left him alone.

Well yur Lordship I’ll try an explain how all this cam aboot, I had just returned from the pub an the Mrs. wus watching telly. It wus a rerun of Coronation Street, ye know thae one when that bonny lass Rosie Webster throws aff her coat tae reveal sexy stockings an suspenders tae try an entice factory boss Luke Strong awa from Michelle Connor? I turned tae the Mrs. an said “Pet I feel like gaun fur a quick jump.” She turned tae me and said ”Hae a guid time pet, the trampoline is in the garden, I hae ma programme tae watch.”

Kinda reminds me of the old joke about the little old lady complaining her neighbour was indecently exposing himself at his bedroom window.
The cops arrived, and said “It’s OK, ma’am – you can only see him from the waist up”, and the little old lady replies:
“Stand on the bed! Stand on the bed!”

Different strokes for different folks has a whole new meaning.
Kate has a point @ 10:01

“He had a cigarette in one hand and his penis in the other.”
Can hardly blame the guy for keeping a grip on it…in today’s Britain, it’s about the only thing the government hasn’t taken….yet.

So was he wrong for holding his manhood or his cigarette?

Hell Kate, if he’d told the cops he was a Muslim they’d have charged the “female witness”.

The woman had a right to complain because of the dangers of second hand smoke.
If this was in the gay pride parade he would be getting a government grant.

I’m confident he’ll bounce back from this. C’mon, someone had to say it.

It was the fact that he was playing “Jumping Jack Flash” too loud that was the problem.
mike

I lived in Aberdeen and I had a trampoline also. Yes I was probably on it drunk once or twice as well – sans exposure.
This fella just got a bit carried away I’d say.
In my opinion alot over there have trampoline’s because that the smallest piece of equipment that could possible fit in the minature backyards at the lowest possible price. The other cheap form of entertainment is going for walks.
Now you wonder why the British are so worried about drunks in the city centres every weekend. Cheap booze is the only form of entertainment (outwith trampolines and walks) that the Subjects can afford. Once they start raising the taxes on booze I’d say their coming for the trampolines next.

The Carnival is coming to Sackville?
Ladies and gentlemen; The great Scrotum & Bally flying circus!
Madeline Khan (“Yes!Yes!…Yes!…No…no…Yes…Yes…Yeaaaassss!”) RIP

but, but, but….he was SMOKING?!

If he just gave up smoking, he’d be a shoo-in for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. The rest of the Board would probably want him to bounce naked during their meetings.

EBD, do you think our resident web DJ could find “Trampoline” by Julian Cope to spin for our delectation?

“Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas! – Stones
“O vanitas vanitatum, which of us is happy in his life? Which of us has our desire, or having it, is gratified? The hope that springs eternal, springs right up your behind! This is what we find, yes this is what we find,
A sense of humour is required amongst the bacon rind – Ian Dury and the Blockheads
ROTFLMFAO!!!

“Oh the humanity”
Thank goodness he wasn’t smoking a cigar!
The article said he was “holding his penis” not “tugging or pulling” it; therefore I can only conclude that this isn’t quite sexy enough for any Progressive awards.

“The fiscal depute said: “He was naked. He had a cigarette in one hand and his penis in the other.”
What the Hell is a “fiscal depute”?

We all have our ups and downs.

I wonder if the trampoline license/registration costs more than the compulsory trampoline and trampolining safety course, eh wot?

Anyone who has been pinched, or lost some leg hair in the springs of a trampoline, certainly would not be jumping naked. This is obviously a trampoline rookie. He just needs to be shown some possible consequences and he will be forever clothed.

When the neighbour saw him jumping on the trampoline, he “had his ‘manhood’ in one hand and a cigarette in the other…”
The cigarette is the key piece of evidence, IMO, because it proves shows that he was acting out of bored insouciance, and not out of a desire to commit a sex offense. Not caring about how others may interpret one’s expressions is different than being motivated.
Burden was indeed “bold as brass”, but he was not purposeful. If he did what he did without the cigarette in one hand it would be a different story altogether.
I’d make a great judge.