Move over, global warming….
The continents rest on massive tectonic plates. Until the beginning of the Industrial Revolution in the mid 18th century, these plates were fixed in place and immobile. However, drilling for oil and mining for minerals has cut these plates loose from their primordial moorings and left them to drift aimlessly. “The potential for damage is truly catastrophic,” said Hans Brinker, a spokesman for the International Panel on Continental Drift (IPCD). “The continents are adrift due to the ruthless capitalist exploitation of the environment for profit. Unless immediate steps are taken to halt all oil and mineral extraction, we can expect a massive surge in earthquakes and volcanos by next Tuesday.” The representative seemed close to tears during his announcement, a clear indicator of the severity of the threat.
[…[
This widening of the Atlantic is taking place at an astounding rate, according to indisputable IPCD scientific data. Today it costs almost a third again as much to fly an Air France jet from New York to Paris than it did in 1997, a clear indicator that the ocean has indeed increased in size in the past decade. Surface shipping rates have likewise increased dramatically.
con’t….. “One World Utopia”
h/t Stan
“An Incoherent Truth” — that’s really funny.
Love the scientific bent of it all.
Whenever I hear this kind of hysteria related to the environment, I can only think that there has been a major break-out from some institution for the insane. As for the media that parrots the babbling, typical non-critical thinking from another institutional failure.
The shipping rate data proves it’s not all hysteria, John.
Love the Cube………….
Just think of it as a curtain. Backstage, the REAL event is a lot of grunts and sweating made the more exciting by the perceived deception.
You can always tell when we start to win, they immediately try to change the channel.
Today, Camile Paglia realized she has more in common with Rush, (who she is friendly with BTW), than with Nancy Pelosi. Via http://rsmccain.blogspot.com/2009/08/disgruntled-lesbian-update.html
this is a long story…but i’ll make it as short as possible..back in the day when i was a sailing my barky looking for truth beauty etc etc i was mooching around the Med and ran out of funds for fuel food and sail repair gear and all that stuff so i got a job on a charter yacht..a big 150 foot stinkpot designed by rhodes and powered by twin baoudin? diesels…she were purty enuff i spose…
anyway….we had an ex squarehead U-boat skipper((a nice guy xly)as Kapitan and a very recently ex Royal Navy navigator as bosun/navigator…
very discreet sparks flew between these two salts…
the navigator(a scot) would shave but leave a hitler type snot catcher JUST visible for a day or two…and so on….
and the Kapitan ?…he would query every sun sight the scot took….which is fair of course(he WAS the old man)…the queries were “did you include ‘dip’ and ‘height above horizon’ and other kinda cheap shots but perfectly permissible(he WAS the old man)
so one day the excellent scot answered der Kapitan’s queries with “aye aye sir…and i factored in Watson’s coninental drift.”
sailors can be a dour lot…but i shall never forget the jocosity on the bridge that day…(after the old man retreated to his bunker/cabin)
I thought someone actually thought that might be possible until I came across “Hans Brinker”. Funny
Drifting aimlessly? We must aim their drift! Think of the children!
Don’t forget about the radio and tv transmissions from Earth that are causing the sun to warm up and exacerbate our global warming!
“very discreet sparks flew between these two salts…”
Begley, I was bracing myself for a tale of forbidden romance and the wine-dark sea; I’m a little relieved, a little disappointed…
I’d say we have no more than 4 months to save the planet.
On a more serious note, it is worth remembering that up until the 1960s, there was a scientific consensus that Continental Drift was impossible.
We now have all the verification necessary to confirm that Wegener was right. Yet he was vilified by the Gores, Hansens, Manns, Schmidts, etc. of his day.
The message is don’t be discouraged by the propaganda barrage.
Let common sense be your guide.
The representative seemed close to tears during his announcement, a clear indicator of the severity of the threat.
No a reflection of how nutty those who govern us have become. That he believes this idiocy is bad enough. That he’s hysterical does not show how bad the threat is. That is an emotive response, nothing to do with reality as it exists from a neurotic personality.
Chicken little goes to Washington. The UN with his nest in Europe.
JMO
Da*#, haven’t finished the front porch yet.
Revnant Dream: Read the linked-to piece verrry slooowly. Make a habit of it.
Insanity has taken over, I remember that great sage of stupidity Ted Danson squalling away in 1989 that “we had only ten years to save the planet”. Different idiot, different time. After seeing how angry the Hildabeast got on that little clip imagine how unglued she will be when Bills new movie about his trip to Poontang hits the theaters, the title is An Inconvienient Ruth, filmed in North Korea and on Air Force Juan on the trip home. Paid for and produced by the Canadian taxpayers likley.
EBD I didn’t read the article at first I was responding to someone’s post. It is a nice bit of satire though after your admonition .
At last count there are at least 33 end of the world scenarios. From traveling planets to the Earth sliding over like an egg on end.
You can’t deny this is an age of Hysteria?
Maybe its been that way for every generation?
But no one has institutionalized fear mongering like the 21st century Special interests.
It has infested the World. Much like witch hunting did in the High Middle ages.
JMO
Not that I’m trying to spoil the party, but these are the days when today’s gag is presented as a serious proposal ten years hence.
In a way, we’re lucky that the AGW promoters’ sense of timing was as bad as the typical stock analyst’s as of 1999. We have a chance to make as much hay as we can while the cool sun’s shine is still reaching people.
Ah the liberal lefts “One World Utopia”
“Won’t it be nice when we can sit with the Taliban in Stanly Park and break bread over our past differences?
We’ll sing old anti war songs and play cymbals while men, women, both gay and lesbian alike hold hands and kiss each other for their amazed entertainment.
The KKK, Black Panthers and MS 13 will dance in our streets together with bells on their ankles, blending with annual gay pride parades as pro lifers rejoice at the bountiful harvest of third world immigration, validating the need for the abortion of first world crack babies.
Religion will be dead, and mother earth will provide all that is necessary, if you just pray to the tree’s and listen for the answer in the wind. No more working, no more taxes’, and no more greed. All of life’s bounties will spring from the earth as we eat lentils and mushrooms with the deer and the rabbits, side by side on our hands and knees.
The evil bankers and dictators will all fade away like fairy dust to allow the United Nations to govern, just like the Federation of Planets in Star Trek. There will be no more worries and no more suffering, just lots of natural drugs and plenty of gay orgies to fill our perfect existence. All that is required is that you vote Liberal, Democrat, and Labor and we can bring on this Hope & Change”.
I love you Kate.
Joe Biden & Boxer are working on a IPCD stimulas package for California……Joe found the top secret IPCD reports in Cheney’s, not so secret, Bunker.
Count down until someone tries to pass this off as something other than a beautiful piece of satire.
5
4
3
2
1………
Continental drift — baa! What about planetary drift?
There is now *indisputable sientific gorecallian indications* that the increased mass of humanity is causing the earth to drift to inner orbit, exacerbating global warming…
Say yer prayers folks.
Well that makes about as much sense as Algore’s explanation Hedley.
where’s the chart? I’m not gonna panic unless you can show me a dramatic upswing in the drift over the last decade as compared to the previous century….
Those ACD’ers should just shut up! Shipping rates from our trading partner China have also reduced. Meaning cheap goods have gotten even cheaper. Oh wait, now what’s going to happen when the anarchists & anti-globilazationists get a hold of this?! 🙂
and our brains explode in 3,2,1,
on the tim’s page i keep getting a submission error. duh.
France is drifting further away? I weep…
another classic from the cube… Iowahawk, move (drift?) over
“What’s more, millions of polar bears will be subject to drowning as the continent drifts away from them.”
Hilarious, reminds me of the old National Lampoon, from the 60’s and 70’s.
I can’t believe this. I remember learning the concept of continental drift in a grade 10 geography class and how billions of years ago there was only one land mass–and that the subcontinent of India had just “recently” crashed into Asia, hence the formation of the highest mountain range in the world–mind you that was almost 30 yrs ago in a Catholic, separate school in Ontario. They don’t teach this stuff anymore?
I still say that people who don’t earn a living should not be able to vote. At least the number of morons who are able to vote will be lessened by a huge factor in places like Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal.
favill, that would have to include alot of government employees.
“: Shipping rates from our trading partner China have also reduced. ”
No No NO. ACD posists that america is getting further away from both, simultaneously!
And that we can used enormous fan farms to direct the drift of the continents – nevermind that a big outboard motor hook to Long Island would work better.
i cant wait for the old transatlantic cables to be stretched tight across the ocean , then we can run a cable car and save the planet.
can we get er done in the next four months?
If crossing the Atlantic cost more, it must be cheaper to cross the Pacific.
You’re just discovering The People’s Cube now?
“Today it COSTS almost a third again as much to fly an Air France jet from New York to Paris than it did in 1997, a clear indicator that the ocean has indeed increased in size in the past decade. Surface shipping rates have likewise increased dramatically.”
I guess he never thought about the cost of fuel to run the ships/jets. I wish I was paying 1997 prices right now for gas. I wonder how much it moved in 10 years, that we are to be fearful of, 10 cm? I guess if it moves 1 meter per day we wll have a big problem.
“Unless immediate steps are taken to halt all oil and mineral extraction, we can expect a massive surge in earthquakes and volcanos by next Tuesday.” ”
Well does that mean that I have to call off all bookings by Monday evening – that will not even give me time to get check cashed before banks open on Tuesday.
What is he doing using any object to survive. Why doe we not see him loading his mineral extraction car that burns an oil by-product [gas] and driving on an oil based road [pavement] to the mountains [sorry, they are moving] wherever he thinks it is safe. Since he will not be around by next Tuesday – I wonder if I can get his pay – he will not need it.
If he would have said 2012 [the new doom item if nothing else seems to work] instead of less than a week he would not be a laughing stock of the world.
The world continues to cool, people like him still use cars and oil products which makes him seem like Dr. Fruitfly and Gore. I wonder how we can contact him and send an email on Wednesday to call him a false prophet of doom like Global Warming enviroMENTALists.
black mamba ?
i think i know of what you are filthily insinuating…i just want you to know that i personally have never witnessed nor heard of any substantiated incidents of sodomy by any mates of mine…i repeat NEVER……sailors are far too busy splicing and knotting ropes together and doing other salty stuff..
We need to gather up all these apocalyptic warmists, tie them to seats in a movie a theater and make them watch a series of slasher, monster and horror movies so they can get their hit of intense fear in a safe place and leave the rest of us alone.
We need repeat this therapeutic kindness regularly.
I had a sleepless night tossing and turning over this.
The history of post war global politics has been dominated by a transnational elite blaming the middle class of free nations for all the ills of mankind and nature. The ‘guilt’ rhetoric has been so pervasive from so many sources for so long, now is the era for globalists to cash in on the guilt.
Globally-networked government plunder and austerity agendas are the tools for breaking the western world’s middle class and what will follow is the depopulationist path to utopia.
A liberal tax on everything should solve this problem … The Plate Shift (TM).
Begley @10:15 – filthy mind, me. I blame that Village People song. And Patick O’Brian novels.
But if you say it’s all innocent “salty stuff” aboard then I defer to the knowledgeable.
re. Hedley’s comment @6:17 – It is my belief that Capitalism is causing the Universe to expand too rapidly. By 2025 the Universe will be expanding too slowly, but it will still be Capitalism’s fault, even if there isn’t any left by then. I call this an Intergalactic Truth.
Prove me wrong, deniers.
I saw the video, it all works out in the end.
http://www.break.com/index/650-million-years-in-1-min-20-sec.html
If the larger land mass and population are on one side of the earth, will we not tip over and drown in space???
From National Post: Study finds Atlantic hurricanes at 1,000-year high, climate change link suggested
Who installed the weather stations for NASA back in the year 1009?
Just what do they serve at those clown parties?
For some strange reason, a couple of weeks ago, while in full rhetorical flight, I said: The planet is spinning out of control! The continents are drifting out of control!
How prescient I were!
“Just what do they serve at those clown parties?”
Snagglepuss
You want to join? We are the offical opposition of the Rhino’s.
Just need commonsense, such as the gas prices in 1997 as compaired to todays prices. No wonder it costs more to fly and ship stuff.
Tooo funny. I figured it was from the peoples cube as soon as I finished reading it. (although I was in “You’ve got to be kidding mode!!!” while reading it).
It’s funny, because it COULD come to be true. You can never tell what will be next from them thar fruitcakes.