In response to Iranian anger over the depiction of Persians in the movie version of the battle of Thermopylae, Jules Crittenden floats alternate plot scenerios to help “extoll the virtues of Iranian culture and its achievements.”
“Chadorezade” … a clever Persian girl figures out how to beguile a blood-thirsty misogynist Persian mullah who likes to bed virgins and execute them.
In the same spirit of cultural generosity, my own movie title suggestions:
“Brokeback Fatwa”
“Ahmednegeddon”
“Throw Israel From The Train”
“Indiana Jones & IN THE NAME OF ALLAH WE SHALL AVENGE THE LAST CRUSADE. Peace be upon you.”
Comments are open for your own creative efforts.
Related – Aparently, not all Persian cultural customs are equally embraced.
Update John Hawkins’ commentors at Right Wing News are now in on the fun.
“The Hitchhikers Guide To Smuggling Arms Into Iraq”
Update 2 – Honourable Mentions in the comments;
“Katushka-Rocket Man”
“Last Tango in Tehran”
“Dances with 72 Virgins”
“Honey, I Blew up the Kids”
“The Cursed Sound of Western Music”
“An Infidel Named Desire”
“Blazing Sandals”
“Full Metal Sucide Vest”
“4 beheadings and a funeral.”
“The Burka Monologues”
“Laser Guided Missile Fight at the Tehran Corral.”
“101 Damnations”
“The CAIR Bitch Project”
“Planet of the Apes and Pigs”
“Romancing the Stoning”
(From RWN, where the topic has so far generated over 425 comments)
“Citizen Caned”
“Beheadin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo”
“Eyes Wired Shut”
“It’s a Wonderful Strife”
“One jew over the cookoo’s nest”
” Close Encounter Of The Kurd Kind”
“The Devil Wears Burqa”
“Fission:Impossible”
“Seventy Two Brides for Severed Brothers”
“Jewmanji”
And there’s lots more where that came from.
“Iran’s objections are ludicrous and worthy of scorn and ridicule.”
A very good tactic in helping them defeat themselves.
Wait for the protests, the trampling, the “Death to America” “Death to democracy” “Death to free speech” Oh, and “Death to Historical Facts.”
It’s a wonder they haven’t figured out that it’s all a gigantic Hollywood Jewish Gay conspiracy yet.
Eeyore: I saw the same theme at an Arab blog a few months ago and they were thoroughly enjoying themselves.
Back to the Fatwa.
George does Tehran.
Gone with the Nuke.
Last Imam of Islam.
Laser Guided Missile Fight at the Tehran Corral.
Last Jihad in Tehran.
Ahmadinejadjuice.
Who shot the Imam.
The Nutty Imam.
Stomp the Imam.
Suicide Bombs for Dummies.
Running with Suicide Vests.
This could go on forever.
The Devil Wears a Burqua
Sisterhood of the Travelling Suicide Vest
Pee Wee Ahmadinejad’s Big Adventure
The Infidel Seven – this is about ridding an Afghani village of Taliban
How about just a movie about the sacking of Constantinople? That would sure meet Hollywood’s standard for blood, seemingly endless violence, sex (forced with young children) and showing Islam as the victor.
Calling Sean Penn…..
72 Brides for 1 Bomber
Dude, Where’s My Country?
CindersAllah
101 Damnations
Schindlers Last
Ali Babba And They’re all Thieves
GoofyFellas
Bombed On The 4th Of July
Meatballs
Pulease Hackadamy
Deliver us
Ya Ya Sisters with Hoods
From Beard To Eternity
Weekend at Burny’s
“Exodust”
“Burqua and the Beast”
“Ka-bambi”
“To Kill a Mocking Infidel”
Throw Mahmoud From The Train
Gone With The Shockwave
Inside Sheika
The Dhimmi in Miss Jones
Brainwashing Rita
Blame it on Momo
“Casabeheadya”
“The CAIR Bitch Project”
“The Flogged Couple”
“Bob and Ted and Carole and bits of Alice”
My Kafair Lady
The Sound of Muezzin
Mahmoud Poppins
They Died with their Belts On
The Magnificent Seventy
Honey, I Blew Up the Kids
The Ayatollah and I
For a few Virgins More
An Inconvenient Verse
HT DrD
Honey I Blew Up The Yids
“Planet of the Apes and Pigs”
The Zionist Hunter
Mr. Ahmadinejad Goes to the UN
Cool Hand Mohammed
Tehran Confidential
The Magnificent Jihadists
Planet of the Christian and Jewish Apes
The Day After Pt.2- Iran Gets A Nuke
Romancing the Stoning
“Finding Private Ryan Over Here, and Over There, and Some More Over There”
“Fragments of Our Fathers”
Mulla Max
Jihad Warrior
Mulla Max Beyond the Thunderdome
Ahead to the Past (instead of “Back to the Future”)
Pilots of the Carry-on-bomb “The Curse of the Black IED”
Pilots of the Carry-on-bomb “Bombs strapped to a Dead Man’s Chest”
We should morph this into music.
Say…Lucy in the sky with shrapnel.
An Iranian musical called:
Ain’t misbeheadin’
When Harry Met a Goat
Shaving Privates Than Dieing
2001- A 7th Century Odyssey
Ali PBUH
The Horse Whisperer, of Sweet Nothings
Three Jews and a Bomb
“When Harry Beat Sally”
Allah in the family.
To kill a mocking cartoonist.
Me, myself and a camel
The Outlawed Jewsy Walenstein
‘Tehran chainsaw massacre’
I can’t stop now, have verbal diarrhea, sorry!
I River of Blood Runs Through It
Sheepless In Shite Al
KillHoser (KillDozer)
Ice Age: The Nuclear Meltdown of Israel
There’s Something about Aisha
Sixteen Camels
Ali Ventura: Jew Detective
Pound Sand.
“Jewriddance Park”
Very Monty pythonish black humour. In that spirit –
my suggestions:
Who’s afraid of Paul Wolfowitz?
Days of Wine and poppies
Amira get your uzzie
A martyr for all Seasons
Guess who’s not coming to dinner
Mullahs, Inc.
Jackass! The Muslims!
Low-tolerance of Arabia
Pulpe Cruxifiction
On Golden Bomb
Snow White and The Seventh Imam
Eternal Hindgrind of the Jihadi Behind
From the real CANADIAN Sarge
The complete Islamic James Bond series:
Dr. Shari’a
From Mecca With Love
Sunnifinger
Shiiteball
You Only Shiite Twice
On Allah’s Secret Service
Diamonds Are Dhimmi
Die and Let Die
The Man with the Golden Qur’an
The Spy Who Beheaded Me
Beheadraker
For Your Surah Only
OctoProphet
A Jew to a Kill
The Living Suicide Bomber
Licence to Jihad
GoldenMosque
Tomorrow Always Dies
The Caliphate is Not Enough
Honour Kill Another Day
Chechnya Royale
and the unofficial Bond film:
Never Say Allah-Akbar Again
All Koran on the Western Front
The Iraqi Whores They Wished They Know
Burka, vest and two smoking detonators
I watched 300 last night. Never noticed any disrespect towards the Persians. The facts they got a bit wrong, but this is still a good kids’ movie in the 70’s ‘comics’ style. Iran leaders are suffering from another Mohammad cartoon syndrome…
My favourite martyr
Jew fiddling on the roof
Start Wars
Bombing at Tiffany’s
Three men and a goat with diapers
To catch and cutoff the hands of a thief
Valley of the whores
The defiled, defiled west