In response to Iranian anger over the depiction of Persians in the movie version of the battle of Thermopylae, Jules Crittenden floats alternate plot scenerios to help “extoll the virtues of Iranian culture and its achievements.”
“Chadorezade” … a clever Persian girl figures out how to beguile a blood-thirsty misogynist Persian mullah who likes to bed virgins and execute them.
In the same spirit of cultural generosity, my own movie title suggestions:
“Brokeback Fatwa”
“Ahmednegeddon”
“Throw Israel From The Train”
“Indiana Jones & IN THE NAME OF ALLAH WE SHALL AVENGE THE LAST CRUSADE. Peace be upon you.”
Comments are open for your own creative efforts.
Related – Aparently, not all Persian cultural customs are equally embraced.
Update John Hawkins’ commentors at Right Wing News are now in on the fun.
“The Hitchhikers Guide To Smuggling Arms Into Iraq”
Update 2 – Honourable Mentions in the comments;
“Katushka-Rocket Man”
“Last Tango in Tehran”
“Dances with 72 Virgins”
“Honey, I Blew up the Kids”
“The Cursed Sound of Western Music”
“An Infidel Named Desire”
“Blazing Sandals”
“Full Metal Sucide Vest”
“4 beheadings and a funeral.”
“The Burka Monologues”
“Laser Guided Missile Fight at the Tehran Corral.”
“101 Damnations”
“The CAIR Bitch Project”
“Planet of the Apes and Pigs”
“Romancing the Stoning”
(From RWN, where the topic has so far generated over 425 comments)
“Citizen Caned”
“Beheadin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo”
“Eyes Wired Shut”
“It’s a Wonderful Strife”
“One jew over the cookoo’s nest”
” Close Encounter Of The Kurd Kind”
“The Devil Wears Burqa”
“Fission:Impossible”
“Seventy Two Brides for Severed Brothers”
“Jewmanji”
And there’s lots more where that came from.
Not being creative how about “Dumb and Dumber”
“The World’s Fastest Jihad”
http://www.worldsfastestindian.com
BTW: It’s a good movie.
The Virgin Suicides-Bomber.
Katushka-Rocket Man.
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle to behead the Infadels.
Gone With the Detonation of My Suicide Belt
Dhimmi Does Damascus
Death to Smoochy the infadel
(That’s Syrian. Sorry.)
Fatwa Gump
Action film : Israel must Die (Romeo must Die)
Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Planes, Trains and Automobiles…exploding
Oh I dunno…Jihad For Eurabia? Or
Slaughter of the Lambs
Suicide is Painful (Theme from S*M*A*S*H)
In the Name of the Prophet
Oh Allah You Devil
The God Must Be Crazy
Are You There Allah? It’s Me, Mohammed.
Slain Man
Dr. Strangeobsession Or: How I learned To Stop worrying and Love Martyrdom.
Sand DUNE
Aliens (Living in Dearborn, MI)
Pride & Prejudice & Arrogance & Foolishness & Folly & Hate & Futility…
_____________________________
And a couple that don’t need any updates at all:
The Killing Fields
Apocalypse Now
The French Connection
The Fatwa Candidate
A Fist Full of Nukes
The Outlaw Joooocey Wales
A Nutbar Named Ahmadinejad
“One Blew Up Over The Mullah’s Nest”
Ahmadinejad
Ahmadinejad II
Ahmadinejad III
Ahmadinejad IV
Ahmadinejad V
I just saw it.
The first ra ra fighting for freedom movie made since WW2, I think.
(oops forgot Brave Heart, are there any others?)
No moral relativism, no doubts that they are right and no regrets that even if they all die, they have still done the right thing.
Back on topic:
Chicken Run
Psycho
Xerxes the Barbarian
How Mahmoud Got His Groove Back
Last Tango in Tehran
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Crying Game
Bananas
Once Were Couriers
Secrets and Lies
Up in Smoke
What Planet Are You From?
The World Is Not Enough
My Beautiful Nuclearette
Jihad Of The Nerds
Nuke Age – instead of the squirrel chasing an acorn, ahmejinedad chasing a nuke.
She’s the Iman
Rags of Our Fathers
My Super Exploded Girlfriend
An Inconvenient Fatwa
Mullah of the Year
Saw 398,512
Abdul the Gable Guy:
Burkha Inspector
Dhimini Vice
Ahmadinejadnocchio
Last of the Jihadists
Dances with 72 Virgins
Bernie said:”Rags of our Fathers”
LOL!
lol – very funny entries
Killing Private Ryan
Honey, I Blew up the Kids (okay, very bad taste on that one)
The Cursed Sound of Western Music
Fatwa-Man (Batman)
Men in Black Rags
Jihad 2 and a half (starring Leslie Neilson)
Stephen King’s Jihad Starter
Allahzilla
An Infidel Named Desire
Sleepless in my Spiderhole (starring the late Saddam Hussein)
SpiderholeMan
300 Motels
300 Angry Men
Quds
It’s a Maad, Maad, Maad, Maad, World
Ahmadinejad! Get Shorty
All the President’s Mujahadeen
Goshtbusters
Young Fatwastein
Dial N for Naqba
Citizen Khameini
Blazing Sandals
Teheranspotting
Mahmoud Python and the Holy Ghraib
The Great Dictator
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest
Fellowship of the Fatwa
Lord of Jihad
Full Metal Sucide Vest
The good, The Bad, The Unholy
A Jihadi Mind
Dead Men don’t Wear Bhurkas
Ace Ventura: When Allah Calls
My Big Fat Islamic Jihad
Four Bombings and a Beheading
The Ahmadinejadville Horror
The Iranian Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mullah
From Iran With Hate
The Milagro Beanfield Jihad
Casualties of Jihad
The Last Temptation of Mohammed
This is priceless… Iran’s complaining about a mere movie is making them a laughingstock.
At least Mohammed didn’t appear in the movie… too bad!
Me,Myself,and Iran
I was going to single out a few as “my favorite” but all have won and all shall have prizes! Good stuff, folks.
(This in no way endorses current trends in education which downplay competition.)
Apocalypse Now
Rats, that’s already been taken – sorry for the repetition
Debbie Doesn’t Ahmadinejad?
The Iran Syndrome
Don’t forget that old classic!
To Beat Or Not To Beat:
I hate o break it to all of you… but that movie took place LONG before Islam was established. You idiots making jokes about jihad and suicide bombers are just about as ignorant as Americans who beat up and spit on Sikhs after 9/11. Persian != Islamic.
Ayatollah You So
Iran Away Bride
So I Married a Suicide Bomber
Jihad Times at Ridgemont High
The non-infidel Hitchhiker’s Guide to Western Civilization
Boom (instead of ‘Click’)
One for the kiddies,
Jihad Joe
The marketing possiblities are endless. The Jihad Joe doll ( 72 virgins sold seperately)
My big fat greek infedel.
4 beheadings and a funeral.
Last Toyota in Paris.
Re. my suggestion above: on second thought, change the last one to:
The Last Indulgence of Mohammed
There- that’s more accurate for ol’ Mo than “temptation”.
Ummmmm…..
Is that you Garth?
*
I’m thinking, with Madman Ahmadinejad driving the nuclear train
straight towards Paradise, it isn’t ancient Persian culture they should
be worried about.
If I was an Iranian egghead, with even a smidgen of history under
my belt, I’d be more concerned about what’s gonna hit the fan in
the very near future.
*
Iranos
The Burka Monologues.
Hey, hey we’re the Muslims.
Let’s Mecca deal!
Looking for Mr. Allah Akbar.
With respect, Kate, this topic is and the comments are distasteful…moderately funny, but distasteful. I am not comfortable with allowing this to proceed without expressing my objection.
Having said that, of course, Iran’s objections are ludicrous and worthy of scorn and ridicule.
Pretty Beheaded Woman
Blowing Up Trains, Planes and Automobiles
Uncle Bucked Off a Camel