According to John Gormley this morning, Saskatoon will be seeing its first ever speed-dating night at one of the local hot spots. Think drive-thru meat market.
During your 8 minute interview, you aren’t to ask age, phone number or occupation. Okey dokey.
“Is that your Porsche out there with my breast prints on it?”
“If you were a horse, would one say you were ‘hung like a human’?”
“What if I told you I can breathe through my ears?”
“Do you have an older brother?”
“Is that oxygen line permanent?” [if you can’t afford a private nurse, you can’t afford me]
Add your own suggestions in the comments section. If I decide to do this, I’ll need material of all types…. Let’s make it a contest. I’ll announce the winners Friday.
Are there categories for the contest, like:
“Actually like this guy”
“Must completely destroy this pustule”
Practical:
You can ask where he lives, what he drives, when graduated from high school (hence age +/-), further education (formal and informal), family ( location, siblings, live parents, grandparents), previous marriage(s), where they’d like to live, change they’d most like to have done differently in their past, whether he liked “Fahrenheit 911” or any of the MM oevre, how they liked the last election, what they know about dog breeding, artistic tendencies (Wanna see my etchings…tee heee), what ethnic background they are, how they feel about Pierre Elliot Trudeau, their religion/ethics, what stupid things they do/did when drunk/high, attitude toward speed limits, CBC, gun registration, how long they they’ve had chronic adult acne, how many times they got their nose stuck in the tractor PTO.
Speed dating , eliminating the obvious duds really fast sounds key to me
“Actually like this guy”
“Must completely destroy this pustule”
Actually, the ideal question would determine which category, through the response given…
How about “is that a wad of $100 bills in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
I’ll leave it to you to decide which is the better answer.
Hi Kate. I would like to offer one of our American favorites. “If we go out, will you mind if I talk about my ex-husband all night?”
I was going to answer a couple of other things, but I’ve been busy, and you know where on the web I’ve been. Can you believe it? There must be well over a hundred hits on the shotgun now. I haven’t had to remain this civil for many years, and it is beginning to stress me out.
I’d suggest, “What do you think of Michael Moore and the Canadian Conservative party?” I think that will help you zoom in on your dream date.
I like watching for poise. Try, “Are you beansprout toward the walkway antelope? Or is it? Because it’s hard for me to sleep trunk ebony, you know?”
Most likely response: “Beg pardon?”
At which time you follow up with, “Ah, so. Q-tips it is then — unless marsh flower springs westward to Ribaflavin, cul-de-sac.”
“Here’s a Rubik’s Cube – can you solve it before the eight minutes are up?” >:)
Okay, it’s been a while since I’ve done this but here’s how I bagged mine:
1. Scan the room as you enter. Sort of like you’d eye the Clearance rack at the local department store.
2. Weed out the “Now I understand lesbians” and aim for the “I’d eat that live on Wild Kingdom” variety.
3. Pick out your target. Yeah, it’s shallow, but they’re basically all assholes when you get right down to it. Might as well get one that will look good lying on your sofa.
4. Walk up to him. Look him straight in the eye and say, to no one in particular, “Have him washed and brought to my tent.”
They will follow you around like a fart in an elevator.