The Children Are Our Future

28 Replies to “The Children Are Our Future”

1. heard about kids doing this in Finland forever ago, like 20 years ago.

2. Speechless.

3. My God.

4. Darwin at work cleaning the shallow end of the gene pool. The more that get culled the better off we are.

5. Yep.

6. People Are Gullible
   And that’s why Kate posts old myths dressed up as a modern craze.

7. There are real names and real hospitals listed in the article, Alex. Why not take a few minutes and call them up, ask them for some of these documented cases? It’s called research.

8. Quick call the babysitter. Alex fell out of his crib again.

9. Here’s lookin’ up your old … disregard.

10. “There are real names and real hospitals listed in the article, Alex. Why not take a few minutes and call them up, ask them for some of these documented cases? It’s called research.”
    Yes, I agree – Kate, why haven’t you done this? Why repeat rumors instead of doing some research to see if they’re true or not?
    Of course, it’s a rhetorical question – you’re a rabble-rouseer interested only in stirring up your useful idiots, not in discovering new things or spreading accurate information.

11. The only time I ever watched 1,000 Ways to Die the episode was about an alchoholic who’d had his jaw wired shut or something like that. His wife helped with some tubular inserting and then she made with a funnel and some bottles of sherry. Guy died (that kind of show); I guess it’s not the safest way to “drink”.
    To me, the really sad part of the story is that he used sherry. Gross.
    I hope the hyenas get on okay with the schnauzers.

12. “you’re a rabble-rouseer interested only in stirring up your useful idiots”
    Somebody sounds like he needs a nap. And maybe a sherry.
    http://www.reuters.com/article/2007/10/04/us-texas-sherry-enema-idUSN0328038520071004

13. “She told the newspaper her husband was addicted to enemas and often used alcohol in that manner. Police said Warner had a throat ailment that left him unable to drink the sherry.”
    Yep, that’ s a regular ailment afflicting young students.
    Honestly, if you’re not even going to try, why say anything at all?

14. “Honestly, if you’re not even going to try, why say anything at all?”
    It’s true, Alex, your genius is wasted on us here. Go, conquer new worlds!

15. World of Warcraft Worlds…ooooohoohohohohohoo!!!

16. When Alex saw the breadth of his domains, he wept, for there were no more Worlds of Warcarft Worlds to conquer.

17. BS…funny but bs.
    Love the Bloody Mary comment in the comments section! (Top rated)

18. Honest to god, when I read the mention of “Butt Bongs” I just knew alex would make an appearance. Then I open the tread…..
    Wow, call me Nostradamus!

19. Encourage them to insert it during first period.
    Then all we have to do is watch them stagger around down the hall in Ms. Jones home ed class,
    or Standusky’s PE or shower,
    not to worry about them crashing at you on the afternoon freeway.

20. Hope those hyenas have guns. This is f-ed up.

21. I am speechless!

22. Alex: I’ve been attending 12 Step meetings for nigh on two decades, and it absolutely flipped our lids when young folk — kids under twenty — started showing up at meetings after becoming addicted to imbibing alcohol through the, er, unusual routes exactly as described in this article.
    The usual reaction amongst the older folk is “you @#$%ing idiots”, but, in the end (literally), we’re all alkies and a problem with booze is a problem with booze no matter how it gets into your system. So we provide support, give them a Big Book, a list of phone numbers, help them find a sponsor, and encourage them to keep coming back.
    It’s a relatively recent phenomenon, maybe two years old as near as I can discern, but it’s VERY real. Kids will wind up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning several times, realize they can’t stop, and show up on our doorstep. There’s nothing inconsistent between this article and my personal experience.
    We’ll do our best for any drunk who wants our help, no matter how they found themselves in that condition.

23. Further to my previous comment, I understand the teachers at my daughter’s school have confiscated some of these from Jr. High kids:
    http://mixthatdrink.com/vodka-gummi-bears/
    It seems awfully complicated to me. I just used to stash mickeys in several places around my old high school for pick-me-ups between classes. I guess this means that today’s kids are smarter than I was when it came to acting dumb.

24. All I ask is hyenas with fricking guns on their heads. Is that too much to ask?

25. “It’s true, Alex, your genius is wasted on us here.”
    I know. But I have quite a bit of experience training dogs, so I figure with enough persistence even you lot may learn some new tricks.

26. Alex >
    “Dogs”?
    You mean like pigs & dogs, ya Muslim loving gay little jooo and Christian hater you.

27. No, I mean dogs. No interest in pigs. What you do with your wife is between the two of you.

28. Lasers Mamba. Hyenas with frickin’ lasers on their heads!