Juan Valdez Will Be Looking For Work

18 Replies to “Juan Valdez Will Be Looking For Work”

1. Can the scientists just save all this artificial shite for the Moon or Mars?
   It’s already betond hope here.

2. Yes, because lab-grown vaccines for lab-grown viruses worked great. What the hell happened to the anti-GMO lobby?
   Bought out I’m guessing.

   1. Really! Shouldn’t Coffee Extinction Rebellion be chaining themselves across the fjords of Finland or something?

3. Think about something for a second. If there wasn’t this constant alarm sounding of “climate change”, do you think Dr. Rischer would have received that nice lucrative grant money to grow coffee in a bioreactor. Or do you think he would have gotten the ole’ “Why the hell do you want to do that?” response.

   It’s often easy to overlook the primary motivation of the Anthropomorphic Climate Change apparatus. That being money. But, this is a good example.

4. It’s difficult to imagine how crappy this is going to taste.

   Democrat’s coffee, built by the same folks who weren’t good enough to experiment with the covid jabs.

5. Live better chemically. Still “establishing cell cultures to alter its aroma in the roasting process”
   has interesting possibilities.
   And coffee is scheduled to take a big jump in price owing to droughts.

   The French take aromas seriously:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7ShUL1qwNQ
   Perfume The Story of a Murderer (2006) Theatrical Trailer

6. How bout nooooooo!

7. Like when they introduced no meat burgers in restaurants in hopes of eventually eliminate the real stuff…how did that go?

   People will look for real coffee, even if they have to pay more, lots are already paying 5~6 $ for a cup anyway.
   Maybe this whole « scientific » exercise is to make coffee more expensive. It is after all, the world’s #1 drug of choice. Gotta have my Java!

   1. “Like when they introduced no meat burgers in restaurants in hopes of eventually eliminate the real stuff…how did that go?”

      Last I heard (last year sometime), not one of the companies producing this stuff had made a profit, and a couple had already gone under.

      Like EVs, you can’t f0rce the public to accept something that they don’t want. You can cajole and entice them, and even try to bully them into it, but in the end people will vote with their wallets.

8. And Good For You.
   We can’t use oil or build oil refineries, but we will make all our food in petrochemical plants.

9. “It’s one thing to grow coffee cells in a bioreactor. Making it a commercially viable product is a whole other matter…”

   High priced sludge for eco-weenies, what a business plan.

10. The problem with all this lab grown stuff- meat or coffee, you have to feed it something. Nutrient solutions, heat, light, energy, deal with waste products, boatload of antibiotics to keep at all from dying.

    God or mother nature or evolution or whatever you want already created a great way to turn sunlight into coffee or grass into meat.

11. anybody remember chicory coffee that came with an early big coffee shortage and price increase? 80s or so? where is it now?

    1. i still buy it on amazon , for days ive over caffeinated .

12. From the ‘I got a grant from climate change taxes, and decided to do another article in the theory of bad coffee’ department.

    No beans needed? Mockery.

13. Ersatzpresso

14. Here’s an idea: genetically-modified hamsters that lactate coffee!

    Naw, only suckers would buy it…

15. I have this vision of the future where basements all over the place are glowing with grow lights, because growing coffee has become more profitable than growing pot.