Marty the Magician and others in the business of pulling a rabbit from a hat are under strict orders from the federal government to develop a “contingency plan” for handling their critters in the event of a natural or man-made disaster. […] Said plan will be evaluated once a year, when enforcers from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) make their annual unannounced bunny home inspections. Oh, and all magicians are required to carry a copy of the contingency plan at all times and make it available for inspection while in “travel status.”
when will this requirement aplply to household pets..
and fish in a bowl??
This is actually a very good idea. In a disaster situation the police are too busy breaking into houses to confiscate firearms. There just isn’t time for them to rescue animals and people.
Geez, and I though that Ontario, with its ‘Butternut Health Assessors’ had captured the crown for “Most Useless Government Buggers Award”.
In a disaster, my plan would be to strangle the bunny to death and then eat it.
How much is enough? When ever I hear some lefty banging on about “greedy capitalists” and asking rhetorically, “How much is enough?”, I like to come back with, “Yes, how much government regulation IS enough?’ such that leftists and their inner fascist appetites for control will finally be slaked. I usually just get silence or a completely bewildered look evidence that it’s never even remotely occurred to them that such a question could be asked. Socialism requires an unshakeable belief that, all evidence to the contrary, the law of diminishing returns cannot possibly apply to government.
All these little bureaucratic micro-regulations/laws are dangerous to our way of life, full stop. The individual examples — and there’s a seemingly endless number of them — might seem almost funny to some people, like an item from one of those “Ain’t Life Funny” section of family-friendly magazines, but it’s really about government control of every little aspect of life.
When it gets to the point when they’re checking on you once a year to see if your bunny-papers are in order, the government and their bureaucrats are completely out of control.
They – seriously – must be stopped.
a poster called the bear, on blogging tories summed it up. the word is stupid. it is all encompassing. anyone who would willingly follow such an order is also stupid.
Hossenfeffer!
Yosemite Sam says ‘hasenpfeffer!’
I remember reading something by Mark Steyn about this two summers ago. Apparently, PETA loonies have infiltrated the USDA (and what does the Department of Agriculture have to do with magic shows?) and since they cannot ban the use of rabbits outright, they are trying to make keeping a rabbit for performances so expensive that the practice stops. Next will be special requirements for transporting bunnies safely, I imagine.
Here’s a link from 2011. Note that the ‘rabbit inspector’ examined veterinary receipts in violation of the 4th amendment.
http://bobmccarty.com/2011/06/02/magician-provides-update-on-usda-rabbit-police/
“Yes, how much government regulation IS enough?”
And, “…but it’s really about government control of every little aspect of life.”
Exactly!
Answer: When husbands and wives have to whisper to each other, or do not even trust each other, or the children.
You get either blank stares from most people if you mention this, or ‘but it is for the safety of or for the good of…’.
It became ‘enough’ about 40 years ago…. I remember when as a young white male I felt free and then one day I saw the DC cabal for what it is: the kleptomaniac central.
… and if they don’t fully comply to the most minor detail of this authoritarian edict, they will be taken down by a team of militarized USDA enforcers shouting obscenities at them and poking machine guns and tasers at them, then hauling them off to some federal gulag for questioning while other agents destroy the non compliant live stock – this is the new Amerka – even Russians are gobsmacked at the totalitarian actions of domestic US enforcement.
Next from the animal nut bars will be plans forced on you for pets, or they will confiscate them, just to put them down. If the animal is gay, watch out for the human rights board.
This is regulation gone mad from the green Religion, that kills more animals than saves.
Mindless bureaucrats that have to ever invent new laws to make themselves relevant.Tax thieves always looking for another angle to part people with money.
In Ontario these trough sucking statists would be given a gubmint air conditioned midsize SUV, a pension that kicks in at fifty, a $100,000 a year salary and would be up at the cottage every friday afternoon by lunch.
Crazy people and gubmint unions run everything.
CUPE has decided to get rid of Toronto’s elephants
http://www.google.ca/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=cupe+union+elephants+Toronto+zoo&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&redir_esc=&ei=dDfYUZrBEouuqwHNjoGoBA
I think we should help poor Marty out with his plan. Here’s a start:
1. Identify common emergencies most likely to occur:
a) Rabbit fails to re-appear after vanishing
b) Rabbit is too fat to pull out of hat
c) Rabbit insists on popping up unexpectedly and shouting “What’s up Doc?”
d) Rabbit vanishes, later found in kettle of boiling water and carrots.
I wonder if the plan could include euthanasia in some circumstances? And to implement it, they would need a 9mm handgun. And since this is a tool for euthanasia, they would need their tools with them at all times. Therefore the USDA should issue the appropriate documents permitting the possession of the euthanasia tools nationwide , including DC, NY, and IL.
As if THAT would ever happen.
It sounds like our host will have fun next time she transits the US with her award winning dogs?
I take it Marty’s rabbit is a semi-automatic assault rabbit…capable of firing pellets out his butt as fast as he can squeeze his sphincter. Hope he isn’t black, too.
If I were a magician, I think that I’d also carry a ferret, and let the USDA inspector inspect that.
Then there’s the “if you’re any kind of a magician, how is it the USDA can find either you or you rabbit…?”
But I’m just an illegal magician immigrant looking for a better life, and I happen to be on my way to the voting booth! You can’t ask me for papers.
This, from a nation which boasts as the most powerful nation on earth, which can’t seem to control the border with Mexico, hasn’t really won a war in over sixty years, and happens to be the most indebted leviathan in the history of the planet. The machinery of leviathan includes a system that pukes-out more lawyers per capita than any other nation on the planet and as everyone knows they are good for mostly two things, litigation and legislation. So regardless of potential utility or affordability, mindless regulations keep spewing all over the once great but bankrupt and failing republic. The mindless electorate is in total submission to leviathan because they are part of the congregation of the green theocracy in power, which, more importantly, gives them free stuff with the false promise of more to come.
Well said and amen!
Nice revolution, shame if something happened to it …
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.
Nice revolution, shame if something happened to it
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.