69 Replies to “Progressive Parenting”

  1. It is true, you never see a pubic spanking anymore (though it may be best done out of site for both legal and psychological reasons) and I find that Orientals (I live in Vancouver/Burnaby) tolerate and spoil their children to a much higher degree. But then, they do seem to be better behaved than our own brats. Children should be seen and not heard! “Suffer little children to come unto Me, for of them is the Kingdom of Heaven”. I’m sure we’ve felt both ways at times.

  4. I recall an associate saying:
    “Keep them away from my house…until they are old enough to help me roll drunks….”

  5. We’ve never had to spank our kids (16 and 12 now), not once. A lot of attention in early years pays dividends later. One reaps what one sows.
    Spanking does not make kids moral or better, but it does make them more clever. “How do I avoid this piece of misfortune–getting caught and punished?” We were all spanked regularly, my siblings and me, and we just viewed it as a tax on whatever we did that our parents didn’t like and we always went ahead and did it anyway and tried to evade the tax, but accepted it as the price of doing business if caught.

  6. I don’t spank, I think it shows the lack of imagination and self control of the parent in question.
    That being said, I have no problem with parents that want to teach their children the reality of different rules of conduct and hypocritical behaviours of those in authority.
    This is a reality that is full face very young, Schools shamelessly bully children about litterless lunches, assignments, imposing standards of average thinking, actions, behaviour, allowing no room for individuals and free thought, punitively persecute everyone who is the least bit non-compliant all the while mouthing diversity and anti-bullying doctrine.

  7. Dunno.
    I think spankings CAN be quite effective: if done correctly.
    Not in the rage of the moment.
    Not so hard it’s abuse.
    As a sort of ultimate message of parental disapproval.
    But hard enough that the message travels up the spine to the brain that some behavior is not acceptable. And when the parent has control of their own temper.
    The “no spankings, ever” crowd are the usual “we know better than thou” crowd, and they are usually immune to logic and history, generalizing from some bad parents and incidents to all.

  8. As stated above, spanking teaches kids that violence is okay and the “rod” referred to in the Bible is not a physical rod to spank with but instead is a symbol for teaching and guiding.
    I lived that quote … so sure and arrogant the one would think the authors of the bible were consulting to clear up any misconception that the rod is not a piece of wood to spank with but a metaphor for a teaching tool.
    The only tool here is the author of that piece.
    This pacifist way of raising children plays nicely into the hand of politicians who want to rule a bovine population … no fear of revolt among the SOMA crowd. Too bad the rest of the world has no interest in pacifism. We are meat for tigers.
    There is nothing wrong with aggressiveness, it’s was makes for good leaders, for brave men and women, for heroes. It provide us with those who would fight and die for our best interests … mainly freedom.
    Children cannot reason as adults. When the adult is right and the child is wrong, spanking gets their attention. I said spanking, not beating.
    I can’t stand noisy whiny kids myself, so I chose not to bother.

  9. Spanking makes perfect sense. Try telling a small kid that if he runs into traffic and gets hit by a car, he will be seriously hurt or killed. The kid will look at you like you just came from the moon because the kid has no experience, no signposts of what the hell “seriously hurt” or “killed”, means.
    So you substitute a swap on the ass and tell the kid if he runs into traffic he will get a swat on the ass. He now has context.
    This “progressive” parenting BS is putting our kids in grave danger. We demand that society (i.e., government) protect them from every conceivable danger (playground equipment for example) and so kids don’t get an opportunity to recognize and avoid danger on their own. The “progressives” have screwed up everything else (and blamed everybody else) and now they want to screw up parenting. As if they know better.

  10. Grey Lady: “I don’t spank, I think it shows the lack of imagination and self control of the parent in question.”
    There’s a difference between a judicious thwap on the bum, accompanying a verbal explanation — which, IMO, shows great self-control and, depending on the verbal admonition, a range of imagination from deliciously creative to, you’re right, downright cretinous — and beating your child in a rage.
    As I’ve mentioned before, I only spanked my children a couple of times, when they were defiant or in danger (and wouldn’t follow my instructions: like, don’t run into the road!) I had to spank them only a few times, because they got the message that when Mommy asks you to do something or to stop doing something she means it!
    Just ask yourself, when spanking was common practice (in the 50s and 60s) were kids more well-behaved or did they act like little barbarians in public places? When spanking was common practice, did kids customarily use violence to solve disputes or were bullying and violence quite rare?
    Ask yourself, now that spanking has been, essentially, banned as a disciplinary practice by parents, are kids more well-behaved in public places or do they behave, in larger and larger numbers, like barbarians? Now that spanking has been, essentially, banned as a disciplinary practice are violence and bullying among young people more widespread?
    It’s pretty self-evident, if you answer these questions honestly, what a spankless society has wrought: too many angry, entitled, undisciplined, out-of-control kids.
    Wise words from the Scriptures: “Spare the rod and spoil the child” (Proverbs 13:24) — or, put more eloquently, “He who spareth the rod hateth his child: but he that loveth him/her correcteth him/her betimes”
    Uh huh.

  12. “Spanking does not make kids moral or better, but it does make them more clever. “How do I avoid this piece of misfortune–getting caught and punished?”
    Maybe,but serial lying is also rampant among young kids in school as they quickly figured out what the teachers wanted to hear.
    On the “zero tolerance to violence” policy,schools are now a lot more violent than they were when I was a kid in the 50’s and 60’s,and the violence is of a much more deadly variety than we were ever exposed to.So many of the career bullies would have stopped that behaviour if they’d ever been exposed to a real and painful consequence,instead of a “timeout” and being asked to do “the bridge”.
    I think spanking is a useful tool,but like anything else,has to be used,not abused,and it will work on some kids,not on others.
    When my Dad administered a spanking, you remembered the lesson for a long time to come. My parents raised seven kids, the “old man” gave us a spanking if we deserved it.
    All of us grew up to be honest,law-abiding ,self-supporting citizens, no Jeffrey Dahmers or Clifford Olson’s in our family, for those who believe that “violence begets violence”.

  13. What Fred2, Joey, batb and dmorris said.
    Our four kids were spanked very rarely for serious infractions and they have all grown up to be good citizens with families of their own. The oldest is 42 and the youngest is 32 and they are all still married to their first spouse.
    Progressive parenting goes along with a disintegrating progressive society. It is part and parcel of Karl Marx’s ideology.

  14. bath,
    I do not say that a spanking can’t work. I have just not used it myself. My family managed to raise me and my siblings without touching us with force. We all turned out to be productive and pass on a joyful childhood on to our children.
    A certain number of my children are so called unadoptables, autistic, one spent the first two years in a cupboard their mentaly ill parent thought they were the spawn of satan because of a cleft pallet , special needs etc..spanking has no effect on these children as they do not process the same.
    It is not my intention to preach, but to place the current behaviours of children on the lack of spanking? I think that is an err. Parents are motivated to raise fine upstanding children or not. Neglect, lazyness and over indulgance is an attitude that permeates a parent whether or not they spank.

  15. I was spanked lots in my youth, quite severely and to excess. It did not work on me. I hardly ever spanked my own children.
    I found much better ways of punishment: withholding privileges, such as watching TV or sending them to bed earlier.

  16. Exactly right Kate! *Great* post.
    We spanked all our kids, and they very rarely behaved badly in public, and are absolutely perfect in restaurants.
    Spanking is good as it teaches kids there are immediate consequences when they don’t follow simple instructions from their parents.
    Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a restaurant where a child is misbehaving, and the parent tells them a hundred times to stop, and the kid continues. Why? Because there are no consequences – children figure this out quickly. In the end I’m not sure what is more annoying, the brat of a kid, or the parent repeating the same instruction again and again, as if repeating it will eventually lead to success.
    We don’t spank our kids anymore, in any case they are too old for that. But because we ran a tight ship when they were younger all I have to do is look at my kids in a disapproving manner and that is enough to get them to instantly stop any bad behaviour they might be engaging in. Our friends can hardly believe it.
    Modern parents don’t have a clue how to parent, so it’s no surprise establishments are banning kids. As always, the rotten apples mean everyone has to suffer, but in this case I don’t mind because I am sick and tired of seeing badly behaved kids.

  17. I get as annoyed as anyone at loud, screaming kids in malls/restaurants/stores. And I have been the parent of an exhausted, grumpy little boy who is making a nuisance of himself in public. Tempting as it is to whack the kid that has a 50/50 chance of making things worse.
    It amazes me to watch parents let their kids remain a nuisance – in public. Here is a hint: leave. Yes, take your child and go. I think well behaved kids should be able to do anywhere so long as their parents take responsibility for them. However, I see far too many parents willing to ignore their kids’ behaviour in order to finish their lunch or trying on those shoes. That is rude. And it is not the kids who are being rude, it is the ignorant, inconsiderate parents.
    (And, I note, kids do learn by example and when those kids watch their parents ignoring the comfort and enjoyment of the people around them what do you think the take home message is?)

  18. Another stupid idea of modern parenting is the so-called “time out”. When our kids were young, we never gave timeouts, or withheld privileges, etc. It was a simple approach: you misbehaved, you got a spank, and that was it, we moved right along.
    We are constantly complimented on our children. They talk politely to adults, look at them in the eyes when they are with them, shake their hands, and never touch anything in someone else’s house that is not theirs.
    Which brings me to another point about modern parenting which drives me crazy: children are never taught to not touch what is not theirs, and to respect the property of others. These concepts are completely absent in modern parenting. We have had kids come into our home and walk straight up to an expensive vase and pick it up, and to make it worse the parent says nothing. Or even worse still the parent says “Now Johnny, make sure you don’t drop that OK?” Yikes!

  20. My wife and I were in an expensive restaurant last year and a couple came in with their kids.
    Those children were so well behaved we sent the couple a round of double espresso dessert vodka to show our appreciation and told them what a nice change it was to see such good kids.
    Misbehaving children ruin a celebratory occasion and ruin the digestion.

  21. I was abused as a kid so I approached raising our two with some trepidation, In all the childhood years I think we actually resorted to spanking less than five times. Consistency and attentive love have worked well.
    my newest pet peeve is “Adults” that bring a babe in arms to symphony concerts.

  22. I avoid spanking my kids but I do so on occasion. The article claims violence doesn’t work because it claims it teaches kids that violence is the answer.
    I say it teaches kids reality. As an adult misbehave badly enough and violence will arrive at your doorstep in the form of a cop.

  23. There are so many things wrong with the vacuous ‘Why Spanking Doesn’t Work’ article I don’t know where to begin. First off the author is stating that the reader’s goal is to teach his children that hitting is wrong. But that’s never my goal. If my kids join the police force or the military hitting is sometimes necessary. I’m trying to correct other types of behaviors. One of which is rebellion against legitimate authority. Secondly there’s no clear argument presented as to why spanking is ‘wrong’ or ineffective. All that’s given is the obvious, worn-out, and mindless argument that’s presented in the intro re: hitting can’t teach kids to not hit, etc. My kids aren’t stupid. They know that when they hit their siblings (which they don’t anymore because we trained them via spanking to not do this) that they’re doing something wrong and that when we spank them we’re doing something right. They seem to know instinctively who the wrongdoers are and who the righteous ones are. Maybe the author’s kids are just really stupid and can’t discern reasons behind actions. In a similar vein if I substitute spanking for the more en vogue ‘timeouts’ aren’t I teaching my child (if they’re that stupid) that incarcerating people against their wills is ok? That’s the same logic that the author uses with spanking. If I use timeouts will my kid grow up thinking that the solution to problems is locking their opponent in a closet? Idiocy.

  24. We only ever had to spank our daughter twice (she’s nine now). She got the message. Now all you have to do is even hint that a spanking may be coming and she immediately cleans up her behavior. Nothing like having access to a nuclear deterrent when you’re a parent.

  25. In don’t have a problem with restaurants discriminating based on age. I also don’t have a problem with men-only clubs, women-only gyms, gay-only bars and straight-only dating sites. As long as they are privately owned then it’s their business.
    As for spanking, to each their own. I prefer the threat-bribe method: If you behave while I shop…then we’ll go to the park or your behavior at the restaurant today determines whether or not we’ll be taking you out with us next time. Making them earn their rewards and punishments is closer to real life than spankings (I’ve never had a supervisor physically threaten me to keep me in line). A swat on the bum for little kids or what-are-you-thinking flick to the forehead for older boys sometimes spontaneously occurs but it is rare.
    As for kids always being perfect at all times. Really? Have you see how adults of all ages behave? Think of loud conversations on cells phones, open mouthed chewing, profanity, road rage? I’m betting that many of these fine human specimens were spanked as kids and yet…
    Personally, I blame the spouse – if only they’d lovingly slap around them more often.

  26. Like you, Sean, after giving my kids a few swift swats on the bum (padded by a diaper or two) at a very early age, before they were able to be reasoned with verbally, all I had to do was threaten a spanking and their defiant behaviour ceased immediately.
    My husband and I were able to take our kids anywhere and the comments were always, “________________ and _______________ are welcome anytime. They’re so polite and pleasant to have around.”
    As I said earlier, which group of kids was/is more polite and less violent: the kids from the ’50s and ’60s who were regularly spanked, not beaten, or the kids today who rarely get spanked but whose parents “reason” with them: “Please, Johnny, be good. Mommy doesn’t like it when you throw food, scream and yell, have a tantrum, etc. Johnny! Johnny!” [turning to the other people in the restaurant, with a grimace] “He doesn’t always behave this way.”
    Yeah, sure, lady. Spank the kid, already!

  27. Traveling by air with small children can be difficult. They get bored easily and any help from the flight attendants is always appreciated.
    My children are seasoned flyers now and as a result are able to occupy themselves with books and movies. We don’t watch TV much at home, so I don’t mind if they watch a movie while we travel across the country.
    I have spanked my children occasionally and usually (my fault) it was in the heat of the moment. I never enjoyed it but it did get their attention. We eat out regularly and they know how to behave in public. They hear “no” a lot.
    They are pretty good kids over all and the biggest issue we have revolves around sibling dynamics.
    When we go into stores, I have let them touch items on the shelves, because, as future shoppers, that’s what people do. However, if they are in someone’s home, that’s a different story. Some kids are so brazen, it’s unbelievable. My kid’s have always been rather shy and reserved for which I’m grateful in the long run.

  28. Airlines need a “worst-class” section where small children and other undesirables would be required to sit. Say the last 10 rows at the rear of the cabin. With a soundproof bulkhead to hive that area off from the remainder of the plane.
    I know flying can be stressful on very small children because they cannot cope with the air pressure changes as well as adults, and do not understand the cause of their discomfort. So, accept the fact that many of them WILL cry unceasingly, and provide an area where they can do so without ruining the trip for everybody else.
    Just another reason to prefer driving to flying, when time permits.

  29. I love John Rosemunds “Children Bill of Rights”
    Here are the Bill of Rights:
    1.Because it is the most character-building, two-letter word in the English language, children have the right to hear their parents say “No” at least three times a day.
    2.Children have the right to find out early in their lives that their parents don’t exist to make them happy, but to offer them the opportunity to learn the skills they will need to eventually make themselves happy.
    3.Children have a right to scream all they want over the decisions their parents make, albeit their parents have the right to confine said screaming to certain areas of their homes.
    4.Children have the right to find out early that their parents care deeply for them but don’t give a hoot what their children think about them at any given moment in time.
    5.Because it is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, children have the right to hear their parents say “Because I said so” on a regular and frequent basis.
    6.Because it is the most character-building activity a child can engage in, children have the right to share significantly in the doing of household chores.
    7.Every child has the right to discover early in life that he isn’t the center of the universe (or his family or his parents’ lives), that he isn’t a big fish in a small pond, and that he isn’t the Second Coming, so as to prevent him from becoming an insufferable brat.
    8.Children have the right to learn to be grateful for what they receive, therefore, they have the right to receive all of what they truly need and very little of what they simply want.
    9.Children have the right to learn early in their lives that obedience to legitimate authority is not optional, that there are consequences for disobedience, and that said consequences are memorable and, therefore, persuasive.
    10.Every child has the right to parents who love him/her enough to make sure he/she enjoys all of the above rights.
    He includes occaisional spanking as a legitimite tool, albeit never in anger.

  30. “violence begets violence”
    dmorris, I think you have it right. It depends on what we are calling violence. Sometimes violence does beget violence and sometimes it puts an end to it. Some of the most violent kids out there are those who have truly been abused, and those who have never felt the business end of a paddle on their butts. I’ve watched Supper Nanny on TV a few times, my wife liked watching it, and the Nanny was against spanking under any conditions, but she was NOT against the use of overwhelming force. It worked because the parents could literally pick their children up and impose their will on them. The point I’m trying to make is that no parent can deal with young children without the use of overwhelming force but, that it works only up to a certain point, or should I say only up to a certain age. That’s why sometimes you will hear a parent say, “You CAN’T make a teenager mind you”, and they are right, THEY can’t, and that’s because at some point the kid realized their parents no longer had the advantage of size and strength. I’m not saying that parents have to use spanking in the raising of their children I’m just trying to point out the hypocrisy of those who go on and on about “violence begets violence”. Let me ask some of these people, do you want to disarm the police? Or, do you really want your teenager, when their out doing something they shouldn’t be doing, to believe the police officer really wouldn’t shoot them. I will tell you this, when I was a teenager and I had my first and only contact with the law, I had no problem believing they wouldn’t use force against a 17 year old boy, I darn will know they would. As I remember it I had a little bit of an attitude right up until the Sargent threatened to have me taken to the downtown Los Angeles Juvenile Detention Center, instead of my dad picking me up there at the local police station. I understood that adults were not going to put up with my crap. I understood that there was a point at which a paddle would come out, if not literally then figuratively. I fully understood that, yes indeed, force works. And no it was not violence.

  31. On a somewhat related note, I wonder if this intolerance for children is driving a preference for daughters and SMOGs (smug mothers of girls).
    SMOGs: The rise of the mums who think girls rule and only want daughters
    …‘I know too many mothers of girls (or SMOGs) who truly believe that boys are unpleasant, noisy, smelly creatures who just take the look off the place and generally get in the way.’
    Some Mumsnet users joked the phenomenon had become so widespread that mothers with boys had invented their own term for themselves – DMOBs, or Defensive Mothers of Boys.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2021369/SMOGs-The-rise-mums-think-girls-rule-want-daughters.html#ixzz1U5YXkB4V
    Well, boys are often noisy, unpleasant, smelly creatures but who’d want them to be any other way. Sure, I could only take my girls out for lunch and look like an awesome parent but where’s the challenge in that?

  32. People should just have some damn sense and neither abuse nor spoil their kids; but usually nobody ever acts reasonably because people are idiots.
    Horrible emotional negligence and/or bizarre headgames are also a bad idea.
    Intrigued by my ideas? Feel free to subscribe to my newsletter.

  33. It is true that many studies associate spanking with “increased aggressiveness”. It is also true that many don’t. The difference: the studies that find aggressiveness don’t distinguish between careful discipline and child abuse.
    Your example, by the way, is NOT an example of well-applied discipline. Instead spanking works best if it is saved as a kind of ultimate consequence: after you have set clear rules, warned, admonished, lectured, etc.
    If it comes down to spanking, the actual punishment should be planned and deliberate, not instant and arbitrary: “Well Johnny, we’re going to have to give you a spanking. Go to the living room.”
    The “lecture” approach advocated in this post, if used appropriately and skillfully is the most powerful tool of discipline. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of skill (or a really receptive child). If used inappropriately (during a power struggle or a battle of will), it is much less effective. Worse, it does not lead moral growth but controls through guilt or shame. This not the better way to raise a confident, resilient child.
    If lecture devolves into yelling you may be getting your control through fatigue or pain applied to the eardrums. Don’t kid yourself.
    Many children never need to be spanked. The parents never need to progress past those early steps. But to rule out spanking for children who need it is less effective and the alternative strategies the parents resort to will be more harmful.

  34. I dunno, bringing kids into fancy restaurants is just plain dumb, unless it’s a special family occasion like a wedding or your long lost cousin from “Slobovia” is visiting. And your kids (if they have been properly spanked) should know how to behave themselves at special events like that.
    But apart from that, the fancy restaurant experience is usually no fun for the kids or for the adults. It’s just plain common sense, which disappeared at the turn of the new millenium which is why businesses have to turn to strict rules because people have abandoned their manners.
    Here’s a better alternative to the “no children allowed” sign in restaurants:
    “IF YOU HAVE NEVER SPANKED YOUR KIDS UNDER 10 THEN THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED. IF YOU ARE AN ADULT AND YOUR PARENTS NEVER SPANKED YOU EITHER THEN YOU ARE ALSO NOT ALLOWED”

  35. “IF YOU HAVE NEVER SPANKED YOUR KIDS UNDER 10 THEN THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED. IF YOU ARE AN ADULT AND YOUR PARENTS NEVER SPANKED YOU EITHER THEN YOU ARE ALSO NOT ALLOWED”
    That’s awesome ricardo! It should be a general rule for many things in life.

  36. My response to that post:
    My opinion is that this silly, passive form of parenting has led to the current generation of entitlement.
    I occasionally got spanked as a child and now I’m in charge of hiring from a pool of young people who have no ideas about how to be productive adults. They all know their rights but no one seems to understand their responsibilities.
    Of course, I’m probably wrong. I should fashion my lifestyle around the ideas presented here. After all, you have quotes from Dr Phil! sheesh

  37. I have to disagree with PeteE. Parent-babble in books, magazine and TV shows have turned mothers into a neurotic mess. I used to take my preschool children to a mom and tots group. Those moms were terrified of scarring their kids for life by incorrectly discipline them, incorrectly feeding them, letting them pay with guns, not intellectually stimulating them enough etc. The experts with their half-baked theories, contradictory advice and constant warnings are the driving factor behind this fear, IMO.
    Kids are resilient and your average parent, spanking or no spanking, will do just fine. Whenever I get helpful hints from “concerned” people I smile and say “Well, I’ll do the best I can and the kids, as adults, can find a good therapist to take them the rest of the way.” The horrified looks are priceless.

  40. Call me stupid but in my lifetime the only lessons we learn fully usually involve pain of some sort. Physic or physical.
    You learn to walk by falling down. You learn real love through puppy love lost.
    Themany screaming kids you here have learned that yelling gets them attention, where a good sllap on the bum would shut them up. Socialization is also a painfull learning process.
    These progressives are insane . They live in man made bubbles with pickeled brains.
    JMO

  41. There would be no need for “child-free” services if parents got off their @$$es and did some actually parenting. I grew up in a large family and you’d better believe that we knew how to behave in public or else! Now, we have idiots who breed, not parent, and single mums who refuse to their jobs and admonish their kids when they act up in public. I’ve seen entire rows of teen-agers removed from movie theatres because of incredibly bad behaviour, a kid throwing a tennis ball in the cinema, kids cussing at adults, an appalling lack of common courtesy and even violence. Where are the parents? Perhaps every time their rotten brats misbehave, they will have to pay a fine on the spot? Maybe there should be more spanking and no g-d- cell phones, i-PODs or any other little toy kids don’t really need anyway.
    Personally, I think spanking should be the death-con five of punishment but that is just me. It’s certainly better than doing nothing.
    How many children are perfectly wonderful kids? Why should they be lumped in with monsters? Punish the lazy parents and then the brats.

  42. Sometimes violence is necessary.
    Would anyone reading this say that we should have knuckeld under to Hitler or Stalin.
    I think our kids need to understand that we will expect them to stand up and be violent in the right circumstances.
    Oh!
    Maybe we should stand by and take a punch in the face for taking a photo. (sarc.) We should talk with and reason with those who are doing violence to us or our way of life. (more sarc.)
    We have become a nation afraid to stand up for what is right and to stand up to what is wrong.

  43. The spanking issue aside, does anyone else see the irony of a Steyn-America Alone-demographic doom-supporting site like kate’s linking to a story about “DINKs” and selfish childless people wanting to be free of children (as per the second link)??
    The second story is not about spanking kids. It’s a story about selfish, childless people that you would normally be disdaining. We’re talking liberals here…

  44. Everything Revnant Dream has said @ 7:09. The writer of the linked article seems to assume that parents and children do not love each other, that they are separate emotional entities. If this were so spanking could be an act of aggression but in most cases spanking is not an act of aggression it is a case of ‘this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you’. Spanking an older child for a breach of trust and/or for a criminal deed is humiliating and if the child loves his/her parent it really hurts emotionally because a loving child does not want to lose the respect of his/her parent. The consequence of hurting a parent is never mentioned in this article!
    Stealing, telling lies, fabricating slanderous stories about other people, torturing animals…these were all ‘spanking infractions’ in the long ago world that I grew up in and I know that the worst punishment was the humiliation of disappointing my parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles – what would they think of me if the were to find out? Would I still be welcome in their houses? Would anyone still trust me and treat me to their approval? If I told a lie the grim silences from others who knew about the lie was a horrible thought, spanking and ridding oneself of the unpunished infraction was a much better option and my wise parents knew that; consequently, m brothers and I were spanked on those occasions.
    My brothers and I blew off smacks on the bum for fighting with each other, screeching or ‘stupid behavior’ but we did shut/smarten up. We were sent to sit in the car if we did not behave when we went to visit. We sat and behaved in a restaurant (visited once or twice a year) and any other public, adult place. We would not have dreamed of shaming our Mom and Dad in public.
    Consequences for actions were the theme of my childhood, we worked to replace other people’s property if we destroyed something. The jobs were found or created and we did not get a red cent for our work – we got paid to pay back.
    My brothers and I were made to feel we had something to offer to the well being of our family. We were children but we were never considered dependants consequently we worked to buy our parents and our relatives gifts because we loved them and we wanted them to know that we loved them, we felt that our love had value.
    Love is a two way street and I think that the lack of this basic principle is the problem with families and relationships in this ‘daycare’ world. Families do not know each other well enough to love and respect each other.

  45. I recall getting my ass tanned with the slingshot
    that I used to dent the nasty old woman next doors screen door.(country, she lived 440M 1/4 mile away)
    Personally I thought it was a fair trade.
    Target practice with my .22 off the deck– I caught serious hell for that.
    Outrunning the county Mountie at age of 16 (burnout on the HS sidewalk) and getting away with it.
    PRICELESS
    (My dad might of known, I told the tale when I was 21), He just poker faced. Looking back, getting away with stuff is the difference between being a brainwashed sheep and being responsible for your own actions.
    Prove me wrong when the next Muslim attacks you. I have never assaulted, shot, stoned, crucified,or exploded anybody that didn’t attack me first.

  46. Social conservatives are funny that way, Jason. They want everyone to have kids but then complain about all those damn kids and their damn parents who cannot do anything right.
    Actually I exaggerate, it is more of a so-con boomer thing. Older seniors love being around kids and say things like “Aren’t you lucky…”, “You’ll never regret …” or “You’ll remember these years as the best ones of your life”. If you go into an old folks home with small kids or babies be prepared to be surrounded – who’d have thought old people could swarm like that.

  47. All this hoopla about a frikkin spank on the butt. You get their attention, mission accomplished. There’s no negotiating with a temper tantrum. IMO

  48. Bingo! Jema54.
    Love.
    That’s what discipline is all about and that’s what makes corporal punishment OK. You love your kids. They love you. You want the best for them.
    Sometimes rather severe consequences for their misbehaviour is the best for them.
    Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

  49. You guys are missing the most important point.
    This is more than a sop to the sensitive ears of harried boomers.
    People are slowly phasing out children. Except for “social conservatives”, fundamentalists of most religions, and other assorted barbarians. Ugh. 😉
    A society that eliminates children is eliminating itself. Because a couple of generations down the line, there’s no one to take care of their elders. No one to pay taxes to fund those pension schemes.
    It’s survival of the fittest. What we’re seeing here, long-term, is the elimination of the least fit ideas and the generation that spread them, in favour of those who like children.
    Civilization is self-correcting, if it doesn’t self-immolate in the short term. Here’s hoping it doesn’t….

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