The following account by Donna Jones is just the beginning of a series of Kafka-esque experiences she had from the time she was approved as a foster parent until all her foster children were illegally removed from her and she brought her story to injusticebusters.
It makes for sobering reading. The link was brought to my attention by a current foster parent, (identity withheld on request) who adds;
Mark Belanger the Director of DCRE–said in an article in the Star Phonenix in March–that there were 150 new foster parents taking training at that time and new homes would be opening by spring. Well I have first hand information that there were 20 couples at the foster parent orientation and there are only six left in it as we speak.
Apparently 14 couples did not like what they heard from the first couple of meetings. IE: Volunteers are starting to wake up I guess.
SDA flashback – Oct 2005 – “In May of 2004 to May of 2005 the number of children placed in care in Saskatchewan rose 12 per cent – with over 700 children in care in the city of Saskatoon alone”. I wonder what the figures are today?
Related…
To answer a long standing question – those preteens are running the streets on Saskatoon’s west side during school hours because nobody bothers to round up truants in this province. True to form, a pilot project was required to uncover what most people figure out just by driving down 22nd street;
A government pilot project estimates 1,000 to 1,500 Saskatoon students do not attend school on a regular basis, Learning Minister Deb Higgins said Tuesday.
Higgins said there are still no clear solutions to combat the problem, but Saskatchewan Learning is working on a tracking system of students using health cards. There is no mechanism in place that follows students from school to school, monitors whether they are registered or tracks their whereabouts.
Ultimately, it is the parents’ responsibility to make sure their children are attending school, said Higgins, but “there’s nothing defined in legislation that says ‘if you don’t send your kids to school this is what can be done.’
“One of the issues we are working on now is with the First Nations to make sure that we have a provincewide tracking system because what you will see is the mobility of on-reserve to off-reserve and more transient families within the population.”
“Tracking system” – code words for “hiring more civil servants to issue periodic reports to the Learning Minister and secure additional funding for First Nations nepotism participation”.
Instead of shuffling paperwork between government departments through an internal “tracking system”, maybe they should just fit these little juvies with ankle bracelets during one of their passes through youth court, and kill two birds with one stone.
When there’s a lack of foster homes, foster parents that remain can be very selective about which kids they take in. Most often, they don’t want pre-teens. These kids usually end up in group homes, where they learn how to steal, skip school and other undesirable behaviours from each other. When they are caught, “alternative measure” in the laughable youth criminal justice act are used (write a letter, sit in a circle and say you’re sorry). There are many adults who give in even further to these teens, saying the solution is more soccer fields.
The minister speaks of it being the parents’ responsibility. If you’re a child in care, technically the state – the Sask NDP government – is your parent. I used to work as a child welfare worker (in another province) and I can already picture social workers laughing at the minister’s “tracking sheet” and efforts at “First Nations participation”.
I was taught that a prospective foster parent who was “anti-authority” or questioned the “establishment” would likely not be a suitable/feasible choice. (Kate probably wouldn’t make the cut).
“Learning Minister”?
Don’t you have a Minister of Education in Sask., or is that a reminder of our repressive past, when kids had to attend school and learn something?
We looked into being foster parents here in B.C. a few years ago, and you’d have to be a masochist, or financially desperate to take on foster kids.
From talking to current foster parents, we learned the social workers will often misrepresent the severity of a child’s behavioural problems,regardless of the danger to the foster parent.
One foster family we knew went through absolute hell for 2 years because a teenage girl in their care made accusations of sexual assault against the family.
After two years and about thirty thousand dollars in lawyers’ fees,all at the foster parents’ expense, the teen admitted the charges were groundless. She had made it all up because she thought they were too strict.
Social workers automatically assume the child is right and the foster parents wrong. The family were never compensated for their costs. The husband became physically ill from the stress, and was unable to work. Though they had been successful foster parents for ten years, the Ministry dropped them like a hot potato, and they were left without an income. All because a belligerent kid was angry at them.
Foster parenting; it isn’t like the government recruiting commercials version.
My husband and I went through the course a few years ago and were counselled by two sets of foster parents who had each fostered for more than twenty years that we should not in our right mind become foster parents when our own kids were young.
What they don’t tell you: birth parents come to your home drunk in the middle of the night. You spend your life chauffeuring these kids to all of these appointments. You can’t really dictate who you will get. The kids run away or, in extreme cases, make accusations against you.
It’s heartbreaking because they need foster parents, but they burn out the very ones that have the heart for it. So what’s the solution? It isn’t only the CAS’ fault. They have all these kids they absolutely have to place, and only so many foster homes. They’re going to pressure, lie and coerce to get the kids in. That’s what they have to do. Sure, government is wasteful and capricious and inept at the best of times, but in this case they really do have an almost impossible task. The problem is the birth parents in the first place.
As far as I’m concerned, kids with abusive or addictive parents should just be put up for adoption first thing when they’re really young and before all these problems escalate, when they still have a chance. It may not be good for the birth parent, but I see little other solution. Living with mom for three years, foster care for a year and a half, mom for four years, foster care again, etc. etc. is no life. Get the kids out of the system and into the hands of people who love them when they’re young. That’s the only thing that will really work.
Kids need stability. The system doesn’t supply that, and is unfair to everyone involved. We need a three strikes you’re out law with teeth when it comes to parenting. (or two strikes, or one strike, who knows?). But let’s think about the kid first, before they become a 14-year-old glue sniffing freak.
Preteens running on the streets during school hours.
In Saskatoon.
In Canada.
We didn’t make this up.
Another of the wonderful outcomes of liberalism.
From my perspective in my province, I am not surprised at all to read about this. Foster parents have no means whatsoever to discipline the kids in their care, and they are one baseless accusation by the kid(s) in their care from having their livelihood yanked out from under them. Basically they are handcuffed, well paid babysitters, who have zero control over what the kids do, even to the point of being taken advantage of and abused at the hands of the foster child.
I would not take in foster kids no matter what the pay was like given the current rules structure in place. On the other hand, if anyone I knew was having difficulties with their kids I’d happily take them in temporarily for free. It’s just not worth it having big brother watch your every move when you are just trying to help.
Thanks for bringing this to the attention of the public.
It is a serious problem with no easy solution.
Perhaps by shining a light some good will come.
I worked as a relief worker in staffed and group private foster homes, lower mainland BC. The stories I could tell you…. The biggest problem is that there was no consistant set of rules in place for these kids. Every social worker had a different way of handling each kid. One of the things that bothered me the most was two 13 years old girls that had the bad habit of wanting to runaway downtown to go hooking. One worker said take her clothes away, make it difficult as possilbe for her to leave. The other social worker said we could not take other girls clothes, it was an infrigement of her rights. If you were a parent and your child was place in foster care, would you not want the people in charge doing what every possible to protect your child? It is not why they were placed in care in the first place? They went downtown anyways, PJ’s, slippers and roller skates. Both came home next day beaten up. (but with fancy new clothes.)Mean while back at the “ranch” there was a supervisor holding paid staff meetings where we all had to lay on the floor and visualize bubbles and clouds, it made me so sick that my days where numbered at this association.
The whole system just sucks. It was to be there for the protection of the children, I don’t understand how the children are the ones that were left out of the picture. (This has been bugging me for years!)
dmorris, we used to have an education minister but our premier(Leisure Suit Lorne)in his role as NDP spin doctor changed the title to “Learning Minister” then added another minister for “Advanced Education”…sheesh. Just for you non-Saskatchewan types here is a little background of our current “Learning Minister” Deb Higgins. Prior to her election in my fair city of Moose Jaw she was a Union Shop Steward for Safeway (Surprise, Surprise) after being a grocery clerk there for years. It appears that being a “checkout clerk” qualifies you for a life in public office here in Saskatchestan. Having met this poor excuse for a politician I can say she isn’t qualified to run a game of checkers let alone oversee our K-12 education system. Anyone who remembers her stint as Labour Minister (Available Hours Legislation)will know how much of a joke she is.
Ankle bracelets Kate? Come ON! How are the social justice types going to keep extorting more money from taxpayers if you Conservative types keep suggesting solutions that will actually work?
Besides, we don’t really need ankle bracelets. What we need is Constable Plod to stick Little Johnny in the cop car and drive him over to school if he spots Johnny on the street duing school hours. Like they used to do.
“tracking system”…
Me thinks this is leading to a ‘branding’ or chip implants. Only proven way to track someone or authenticate an object.
RFID’s are still in the infant stage, but given a couple of years, they will be our new ID tags.
Passwords – don’t need; Credit Cards – don’t need; Health Cards – don’t need. Cash – don’t need; and your soul – don’t need.
Rememeber who controls the flow of information controls the world. Can’t buy or sell without it.
Hmmm, remember reading this somewhere…
I don’t want to distract from the content of your post, Kate, but please note that it’s headed by the date: May 17, 2006.
I believe you’re far-seeing in the usual metaphorical sense only and have probably not yet overcome the barriers to time-travel.
Canadian Sentinnel,
Give it a rest buddy. Your relentless bone-headed nonsense about everything bad being the fault of liberalsim is just plain stupid.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
We have never had compulsory education in Canada.
But at least we used to have compulsory attendance.
“As far as I’m concerned, kids with abusive or addictive parents should just be put up for adoption first thing when they’re really young and before all these problems escalate, when they still have a chance.”
I’m going to take this a step further and say that children born to single parents should be removed from their homes. I regard being a single parent as abusing your child/children. Children need two parents.
(I’m sure this will make me popular.)
Sean: “…that children born to single parents should be removed from their homes” (I’m sure this will make me popular.)
———-
Yep, how does it feel to be a dork? I’m a single parent child and didn’t end up have wacko opinions like you…
I went thru the hoops with the orientation and training sessions to become a foster parent, thinking back on the generous caring nature of my mom who did that for about 2 dozen kids.
I eventually decided against it in this new 21st century climate where horror stories abound about allegations from the kids. that turn out to be extorion attempts on their part.
etc etc.
basically I didnt see enough mechanisms in place to protect me from being dragged into a similar headline. so children’s aid here in londontario shot themselves in the nuts again by telling me for instance, that I could not warn the kid if they appalingly and major screwed up like abusing the dog or stealing from a tenant they would likely be turfed back to children’s aid.
I could not so much as state the obvious to them for fear of hurting their self esteem or whatever. so all the other stuff about punishment fit the crime, taking responsibility for the consequences, good and bad, of their actions didnt look like they were options either and thats when I decided to opt of of the idea.
Reading through the web site is like a running documentary on the descent into police state tyranny. The public see glimpses of it occassionally when the MSM can’t keep the lid on some of the despicable abuses of authority and due process…but most of it is neatly contained with nebulous police state “publication bans” of the abuses. Seems unwieldy that Sask seems to have the amount of these it has…rather disproportionate to its population and culture.
Good thing Disney inc. has a lock on Canada’s state police image.
RFID’s one way to track these kids. Plus the rest of Canadians.
tomax7,
There are many great single parents like you.
Reading this thread and others on this blog is very is alarming though. I get the impression that far too many conservatives have wacked out ill-informed ideas on life’s decisions.
I pitty the poor children that grow up in these conservative homes. How can they look up to a parent that has such ridiculous ideas.
It’s no wonder the Liberals do so well. Their competition is just plain out of touch with reality. The chinks are are becoming more apparent every day.
I think the biggest problem with kids in foster care is the social worker who put them there in the first place. False accusations against parents, or by neighbors, and the social worker assumes that a child will not lie. Social workers never make a mistake, they went to university you know. It is unfortunate that parents of kids kidnapped by social workers and placed in foster care do not have the money for a lawyer to fight the system, and we discovered that many lawyers will not take cases because of the time it takes to settle a case. Common sense is not used in most cases. We were fortunate, we had a lawyer, and our MLA was the Minister of Social Services at the time of our problem. He told us what to do and what not to do. First, never sign or agree to anything. Sitting in court I heard many SS workers tell the judge, the parents willingly signed an agreement to put the kids in our care and we feel they should be made wards of the court and placed in permanent care. With the case load, the judge usually signs the consent. No one to speak for the family or child. Future young offenders put in the system and taken care of. In our case, the parents were accused of abuse because the 3yr old didn’t talk and used gestures. The fact he was born deaf and wore 2 hearing aids, and was in a special needs daycare had no bearing. We got the boys out of care in 2 wks but it took 6 months and several thousands of dollars to get custody. Sad, but we found out they had taken the wrong boys from daycare, but they were metis so parents must be guilty. Before the case was settled, the daycare was closed and the manager and some workers were charged with abuse. I take some credit for that. Did you know that anyone can call the hotline, lay a complaint against anyone in AB that they are abusing their kids, and you never have to give your name or produce evidence of said abuse. Kids are automatically kidnapped. Kids can also call and lay complaints against parents, and it is usually because the parents object to boyfriend, didn’t buy a certain dress, set rules and guidelines etc. The May 17th date threw me as our youngest grandson graduates that day, and I am not ready. One good thing happened with all this, he has never been in any trouble, because according to his friends, he has told them he can’t take any chances because he never knows when they will come and steal him again. Imagine going thru life with that fear. The other boy, deaf, epilepsy and MD still wont wear yellow (he wore it the day he was stolen) graduated 2 yrs ago, is on AISH and in his own apartment with 24 hr care. He is very happy. Why did we get custody-the oldest needed a stable environment with all his problems and the father could not give him this as he was a PPCLI, and transferred often. The parents agreed with our giving the boys a good home, and have been very involved with their life.
I was a foster kid in my teens, boy do I relate to those stories!! I was placed into a boys’ home as all of the girls’ were full, and we were all (going in) between 13 – 15 years old. I was extremely lucky, I had the best foster parents possible, but my social worker insisted that I had all these problems and addictions, which I didn’t. Her and I had’t gotten along from the get-go, when my father had kicked me out because his new wife wanted to start a “brand new” family.
My foster-parents were completly supportive of me, to the point when my father wrote me a nasty letter they dug it out of the garbage (and I mean garbage) to show it to her. But she insisted I was a troubled liar, and I can tell you if it weren’t for the support of my foster parents, there is no way I would have survived my teenage years.
On a sad note, they did get foster-parent-burnout, quickly. I was number three, and by the time I left they were at about 14. In one and a half years. The foster brothers stole so much from them, family heilooms, money, trust, and they lost it.
I truly worry for the fate of Sakatchewan if the NDP continues to maintain power. Ten plus years of NDP gov’t here in BC nearly bankrupted our province…thankfully we were able to get rid of them.
“Liberals do so well” – by that I assume you mean that children of the Liberal elite do well because Liberal/liberal politicians have neutered the competition by turning most public schools into non-educating jokes – basically temporary detention centers. It’s how a politician in the ‘States like Hillary can fight against vouchers while sending her little darling to elite private schools. Liberalism (really just weak communism) requires a large class of proles and little to no middle class – thus the Liberals continue project to strong, independent blue and white collar canadians into helpless proles, sucking at the tit of big government (gov’t-only healthcare, daycare etc).
I just shake my head as to how every thread here has to devolve into partisan bashing.This is about forgotten and neglected children lost in a cold system.This problem spreads across provincial borders,no matter which party is in power there.To my knowledge there is no magical solution anywhere to raising 1000’s of neglected children in a warm,trusting and loving enviroment.That was supposed to be the PARENTS duty.
Maybe we should instead concentrate on the cause of the problem.Shitty parents!Can anyone reading this imagine what you would have to accomplish to actually lose your children to the state? Be it poverty,drugs or whatever excuse these people can hide in,they abdicate the most vital responsibility we humans have.
From what I observe of the definite lack of discipline in todays homes and schools,things will be getting worse still.
BTW,be you anti or pro-abortion out there,what would we do with the thousands and thousands of extra unwanted children in a system that already cannot cope.Really,how can you be any more unwanted than if your own mother would rather have ended your life.Just something to think about.
Whoa!…I didn’t intend to get so heavy.
Have a great weekend y’all!
Holdfast: I don’t think that is what David meant, actually. My reading of his remarks is that his observations (based on posts in this thread) lead him to believe that a lot of folks who bash the Liberals here have viewpoints that are extreme enough that they’re never likely to be well represented in government. Please accept my apologies if I didn’t get that quite right, David.
“Yep, how does it feel to be a dork?”
Awful — maybe I wouldn’t be one if I’d had two parents…
Seriously, growing up it was rather noticeable that more of the kids from single parent homes were having trouble in school, getting in trouble with the law, had inadequate clothing, and weren’t getting fed properly. This stood in sharp contrast to all the kids who had both a mom and dad, the majority of whom seemed to be doing OKAY.
Do you believe in results?
Sean – How would we practice such a policy in the event of marital breakdown where children are involved?
holdfast,
Where does all that venom come from? Are your parents the conservative nutjobs I was refering to?
I know hundreds of kids that have gone through the public system. These young adults all have beautiful minds and a wonderful outlook on life.
When I was reading your post it sounds like you have anger management issues. Once you stop blaming others for your condition and accept responsibility for yourself your mind, body and soul will be emancipated.
“Awful — maybe I wouldn’t be one if I’d had two parents…”
Isn’t that their problem, not yours?
“Awful — maybe I wouldn’t be one if I’d had two parents…”
Isn’t that their problem, not yours?
Posted by: Mugs at May 12, 2006 02:30 PM
You don’t think parental problems at home affect children?? What are you smoking?
“Isn’t that their problem, not yours?”
Look, when a kid grows up getting raped by adults several times a week between the ages of 4 and 12 (because your hippy mother likes to slut around with violent men), there are problems. When a kid goes a couple weeks at a time living off of puffed wheat and skim milk powder, there are problems.
I noticed early on that kids coming from stable homes had a lot less of these problems. This goes doubly for the kids coming from the homes where they went to church on Sundays. Like I said, I believe in results.
“How would we practice such a policy in the event of marital breakdown where children are involved?”
I imagine that both parents are still involved in the raising of the kid and that one is paying support, in which case I’d do nothing.
Why not just put all these kids on the civil service payroll, and fire the ‘civil servants’ (more like servants of their own greedy pocketbooks) who are supposed to be ‘looking after’ them (and obviously doing a very incompetent job at that).
“I just shake my head as to how every thread here has to devolve into partisan bashing.This is about forgotten and neglected children lost in a cold system.This problem spreads across provincial borders,no matter which party is in power there”
Yes, this is about forgotten and neglected kids. But there is a reason why we are seeing more and more of them. And it has a lot to do with the liberal bent of our “federal government” over the years. A slow but steady decline in moral values thanks to Trudeau and the charter of right has lead to a decay of our society. Abortion , same sex marriage,legal orgies, voting for prisoners etc. are all evidence of this decay. You may choose to not believe this but the evidence is all there. And so are the tremendous increas in the number of kids in foster care.
Horny Toad
I have worked with the foster care system in Saskatchewan. The system is short of foster parents because it is under-funded.
I have seen the breakdown of the allowance for foster care. Not only are the costs under-estimated, but there is no allowance made for transportation other than the cost of a monthly bus pass, and no allowance at all for housing. Foster parents are expected to spend the entire meagre allowance that they receive on the children in their care. Then the foster parents are expected to make a donation in kind for housing and transportation! Foster parenting is always a net financial loss, because the government bureaucrats believe that there should never be any profit motive in providing child care.
It is no wonder the system is short of volunteers.
“Learning minister”. “Tracking system”. Blah Blah Blah.
These haughty career politicians must think we are complete dolts.
At least the opinion is symmetric.
The focus certainly should be on the good of children. I’m not sure what society can effectively do when couples/individuals in society lose sight of this – high rates of marital breakdown is certain to make things worse. I suspect in the past that when many more parents were staying married ‘for the sake of the children’ (rather than breaking up to pursue their own ambitions), society could more easily step in and help those relatively few who still couldn’t make it work.
As for the wanted/unwantedness of children: the problem isn’t the children, it’s the fact that the adults in their lives aren’t wanting them. Allowing abortion for cases of ‘unwantedness’ perpetuates the juvenile attitude of these adults towards other human lives, never forcing them to grow up and shoulder some responsibility. Not so long ago, when abortion was generally unthinkable, there were far fewer unwanted children. As it’s become not only thinkable, but often encouraged, selfish behaviours (on the parts of adults) have skyrocketed – I think there’s a connection, and one that in no way benefits children.
You know the sad part, there’s a harder criteria nowadays to adopt a dog from the pound than have a kid. Any pregnant slob with zero resources and toxic habits can be a mom with little backlash from society. God forbid we shame slobs.
Both the boys in the story appear to have irreversable Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I wonder where the extended family, community, courts and the legion of social workers were at the start when these alcoholic mother’s declared they were pregnant? Can’t and refuse to sober up, well, a jail stay until delivery would fix that. My guess, these kid’s brains or lack thereof, were expendable because an immediate, no nonsense intervention like jail for slob mom was just too draconian for today’s society to impose.
I’m for bringing back community shame when your behavior is reckless, stupid and has profound consequences. And if shame fails, replace the social worker with a correction officer fast.
Deb Higgins said:
Ultimately, it is the parents’ responsibility to make sure their children are attending school, said Higgins, but “there’s nothing defined in legislation that says ‘if you don’t send your kids to school this is what can be done.’
Deb, you are so wrong.
Saskatchewan’s Education Act (www.qp.gov.sk.ca/documents/English/Statutes/Statutes/E0-2.pdf – 190 pages) states:
156(1) Except as otherwise provided in this Act, every parent, guardian or other person having charge of a pupil who is of compulsory school age shall take all steps that are necessary to ensure regular attendance of that pupil …
(2) Every person who contravenes subsection (1) is guilty of an offence and liable on summary conviction to a fine of not more than $100…
(5) This section also applies to a person who has received into his or her home, as a resident, another person’s child who is of compulsory school age.
…
159(1) Every board of education shall appoint a person or designate a member of its staff to be the local attendance counsellor for the school division.
…
162(1) Every person who is charged with the duty of administering or enforcing any provision of this Act pertaining to school attendance and who neglects to perform that duty is guilty of an offence and liable on summary conviction to a fine of not more than $100.
David, do you know what is “otherwise provided in this act”? Specifically, I’m wondering about provision for homeschooling. I haven’t taken the time to look at the act myself – this query is here on the chance that you’re that familiar with it… Thanks.
Grasshopper:
“Except as otherwise provded in this act” includes students who are in a registered home-school program.
I am not fully familiar with the complete regulations regarding home-schooling. I do know that the program must be registered with the local board of education, or by the minister.
Hope this answer the query.
Strange. But it seems it might take a residential school to solve the truancy problem ! What goes round, comes around.
Sean sure there are problems, some more extreme than others, there always have been.
The only difference today, is that the powers that be fail to mention the value in growing up ,being responsible, and moving on.
“When a kid goes a couple weeks at a time living off of puffed wheat and skim milk powder, there are problems.”
I can remember eating puffed wheat and skim milk powder? No problem we survived.
You don’t think parental problems at home affect children?? What are you smoking?
Posted by: ld at May 12, 2006 02:42 PM
ld my dads family had a pathetic gambling drunk(he’d sh– himself in his chair) for a father, they seen lots they shouldn’t have as kids.
Guess what? All but one out of six rose above what they seen as kids, and live a good life with their families.
The ironic thing is the youngest the one with problems(excuses) that still remain today, had the most to do with a social agencys due to her age.
Sean sure there are problems, some more extreme than others, there always have been.
The only difference today, is that the powers that be fail to mention the value in growing up ,being responsible, and moving on.
“When a kid goes a couple weeks at a time living off of puffed wheat and skim milk powder, there are problems.”
I can remember eating puffed wheat and skim milk powder? No problem we survived.
You don’t think parental problems at home affect children?? What are you smoking?
Posted by: ld at May 12, 2006 02:42 PM
ld my dads family had a pathetic gambling drunk for a father, they seen lots they shouldn’t have as kids.
Guess what? All but one out of six rose above what they seen as kids, and live a good life with their families.
The ironic thing is the youngest the one with problems(excuses) that still remain today, had the most to do with a social agencys due to her age.
“Look, when a kid grows up getting raped by adults several times a week between the ages of 4 and 12 (because your hippy mother likes to slut around with violent men), there are problems.”
I would say that is definately a problem.
Does that mean one doesn’t have to ever rise above how they where raised?
“When a kid goes a couple weeks at a time living off of puffed wheat and skim milk powder, there are problems.”
I can remember eating puffed wheat with skim milk powder, no problem we survived?
We did have a whole generation that grew up during the depression they survived too.
You don’t think parental problems at home affect children?? What are you smoking?
Posted by: ld at May 12, 2006 02:42 PM
Id sure they do.However carrying on like those same problems condemn children to a life of insecurity, and irresponsibility as they reach the age of an adult is rather idiotic.
My dad had a drunk for a father. Five out of six kids in that family live a good honest life, and have raised great families.
The youngest born much later,had the most to do with social agencies (she was labeled slow). Ironically she is still on social assitance today.
“I’m for bringing back community shame when your behavior is reckless, stupid and has profound consequences. And if shame fails, replace the social worker with a correction officer fast.”
I like how Penny thinks.
Thanks, Mugs, your good point about personal responsibility is my point as well. Somehow omitted from the equation is the irresponsible slob. Everyone services their inevitable disaster but fails to hold them ultimately accountable.
More often it’s not just one kid with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or in foster care, it’s multiple kids. What’s wrong with that picture?
My wife and I fostered in Saskatchewan, and when we moved to Alberta, we decided to do something more permanent for a child who needed a loving home. There was a Wednesday’s Child feature on a young boy with spina bifada. We researched the condition, became aware of what would be required to welcome such a child into our home, and then contacted the SS office with our offer to adopt the child.
Not so fast. The program by which the child was being made available for adoption first required the parents foster him, and then after a successful foster placement, the paperwork would begin for the adoption. But first, we had to become approved foster parents. That meant taking the Government of Alberta training, despite the fact that we were experienced foster parents already. (There we were as a class told that the biggest problem with most foster parents is they believe the department’s first priority is the best interest of the child, but that that priority was no longer the focus. It was, instead, the reunification of the disfunctional family from which the child had come. Madness!)
So we dutifully put our lives on hold for six months of pitifully basic “training”, and our lives came under a microscope for the home study. And we kept waiting to hear how this young child – the child we were looking to welcome into our hearts and home – was doing.
Finally, the social worker called us in. There we were told that, unfortunately, we were being rejected as adoptive parents (despite having other adoptive children already). Well, not rejected actually – we were just frankly informed that the fact that I was being successfully treated for depression, caused by a long-standing medical condition, meant that the social workers on the adoptive side of the SS would simply decline to recommend a child for us.
They admitted they had found nothing to indicate that we wouldn’t be superb foster parents. They admitted their home study had found nothing but superlative praise for our previous experience in adoption. They admitted that my health condition made me more sensitive to children with health needs. Further, they admitted there was no policy prohibiting my inclusion, which is why they were asking us to withdraw our application, since there was no policy by which they could reject it.
Why would we do that, we asked. Well, you see, there was a severe shortage of foster parents – apparently a much greater shortage than those willing to adopt children such as our Wednesday’s Child – and with our experience, skills, and evident compassion, they were very much interested in having us become a foster family.
Needless to say, we left the office that day unwilling to work with people who lived in such an Alice in Wonderland world.
I often wonder whatever happened to our Wednesday’s Child?
Here’s a thought… eliminate the problem as much as you can from the root cause… Enforce birth control on people that have been subject to losing a child to Foster care until they are capable to prove they are responsible enough to have kids again and then allow them their child back…otherwise the kid goes into a program similar to witness relocation once the social workers can truly prove they should enter into foster care. Children in foster care have their rights superceeded by the Foster Parent. The Foster Parent is granted the roll Guardian after they go through both a fedral security check and psych evaluation before they are allowed into the system but as a Foster Parent they should basically adopt the child…
I never really understood the whole “foster parent ” thing….if you’re going to open your home to a child in need, then you should be responsible for the child as a parent. This should include setting rules and enforcing punishment or consequences when warranted. Recognizing and protecting these kids Rights is fine, but Rights have to also come with Responsibilities and to not be allowed to control the child and teach them right and wrong seems counter productive to the whole point of removing them from a bad enviroment to begin with.
I know the first comment is going to cause me some grief but ya know what…If you’re going to continue to allow “damaged” people to continue to breed unchecked you’ll never stop this problem…
Sean, et al.
Idealism is nice, but unfortunately the real world isn’t like that. The sky is blue here.
So, where would you take these poor power milk kids? Residential schools? I grew up in one. My mom put me in there so I could interact with other kids and not so much be a latch key kid.
While my Mom had good intentions, those were the darkest days of my life. I don’t want to digress.
So yeah, having a Father might help, then again how many times do you hear coming out of mouths of people: “I wish my Dad would have said ‘I love you'” or “I’m proud of you son”.
SO just because both parents are there doesn’t mean kids are being raised with love.
I also know of a lady (probably most of you know from recent Elections in Alberta) who raised 4 kids, love them, be a mom, and at the same time study, do odd jobs, and became a lawyer.
I know of other single mom’s who raise their kids with more love than couples do.
Where the real problem lays is males not being taught to be real Fathers and responsible towards their families.
Hmm, where would those ideas have stemmed from? The Feminist movement? Freedom of sex without responsiblility? Where family is a curse? Marriage is bondage?
Nawwww…
So yeah, in a perfect world, both parents would be loving, attending, and looking after their kids…
But maybe this isn’t a perfect world.
Wow.