Including the removal of earwax and other objects; a suboptimal situation; a spa day takes a turn; a bold attempt at pilfering; and the thrill of phone mites.

All this and more.

Decorating his office was a colourful painting of a thoroughbred horse race, and a framed photo of Frank Sinatra with his Rat Pack pals outside the Sands hotel, an iconic Las Vegas casino from a bygone era. Sinatra’s photo was mounted alongside playing cards from a Sands poker deck. The only card face-up in the frame was the Ace of Diamonds. It seems a missed opportunity for it not to be the Jack, because this was the office of a real-life Jack of Diamonds.

Detective-Constable Kevin Williams, an investigator with Toronto Police Service’s financial crimes unit, introduced himself and asked the man for his name.

Jack Kronis, he replied.

Grab a coffee.

Including gambling gone too far; a guide to stuffed chine; a game of naming countries; and a careful lowering of the scrotum.

All this and more.

Including powder room scenes; the thrill of 1970s seaside nudism; a chap with moves; a wrap malfunction; and an unhappy discovery on the lingerie aisle. 

All this and more.

Including a memorable watermelon; an enthusiasm for meat; assorted monsters; and a compendium of profanities, sorted by subject and rudeness.

All this and more.

Including bellies and vacuums; fit birds; honest hairdressing; a watering hole and its visitors; and Nottingham’s last wash house, circa 1977.

All this and more.

Including an attempt at airbending; the statistics of simultaneous blinking; ninja-level night vision; a notable welding helmet; and some relaxing massage, enhanced with drumming and fire.

All this and more.

Including a history of urology from 3,200 BC to the present day; an archive of Amazing Stories magazine; some dramatic downward motion; and a museum of fossilised dinosaur faeces. With gift shop, obviously.

All this and more.

Including Chesterton’s Cone; some notable vision correction; scenes of smooth jazz noodling; and when walking towards the light isn’t necessarily a good idea.

All this and more.

Including a suboptimal day at work; some difficulty with heels; a “decolonisation” dilemma; how the Dutch will take over the world; and a motorised erotic device.

All this and more.

Including a percolating substance; a manhole, a mishap, and a very small beep; the gruesome death of a shoe; and a situation involving shouting and quite a lot of smoke.

All this and more.

Including how to cope with a telekinetic child; when long-nosed goblins befuddled the Japanese; and a tale of a G.I., his wife, and Hitler’s cloak.

All this and more.

Including an altercation with nude cyclists; a hairy man and his lemon dress; some untimely parking; a level-10 parenting test; and an offer of interspecies intercourse.

All this and more.

Including a sex scene to remember; soccer rethought; a spankologist named Don; and a man who was approached by a Venusian while washing the dishes.

All this and more.

Including some toilet-related innovation; a urinal respect test; on polite bus-stop queueing; a game of peekaboo; and a collection of suboptimal book covers.

All this and more.

Including an ode to cyclists; things incoming; 131,000 historical maps; a questionable Ferris wheel; and a man with fake nails issues an ultimatum.

All this and more.

Including the new, improved lesbian dating scene; some seismic calibration; a somewhat fraught situation; the hot new innovation in pop music; and an anti-patriarchal therapist opines.

All this and more.

Including mugshots of paint huffers; some unforeseen circumstances; parenting the progressive way; and when ladies encounter a hotpants interloper.

All this and more.

Including a bath-time peekaboo; custom cars for rats; the logic of fake bus stops; leftist commune job suggestions; and a lesson in how quickly the day can turn to shit.

All this and more.

Including Mongolian heavy metal; volcanic vortex rings; an invisible drum kit; and a brief history of defenestration.

All this and more.