Great Moments In Food Marketing

15 Replies to “Great Moments In Food Marketing”

1. Somebody call the Toronto Transit Commission to find out the Indian Wayfinding sign for Exit. (Its not a Beaver.)
   Is it a Turtle?

   1. It should be a turkey. We could nickname him “Turdgobbler”.

2. Huh? Who knew my whole-food, high-natural-fiber diet was … ahem … “prepping me”. Well … the Gays (and GYM) claim we heteros are all closeted queers … so … oh well. Come on over boys … I’m all prepped. Pardon me while I void my bowels.

   1. Corn on the cob = corn on the knob!

      Gag!!

3. Who’d have thunk it!
   Gay sex participants have an incentive to eat healthy. Do the ‘tops’ and the ‘bottoms’ both benefit?
   Asking for a friend!

   1. Who would have spunk it?
      I’ve read that one’s spunk takes on the flavoring of what you eat
      No, I have not and will not test this
      Esp. if asparagus is involved.

      Thanks Hello Fresh for opening up (sorry) … this discussion. I could easily have done without.

4. HelloFresh wants to “Smack” ya. That’s right. Tell me if this sounds familiar. You have a nice needle full of Smack, and you can’t locate a good vein to ride the H-Train. You’ve destroyed them all. We know the frustration. But, we got ya covered.

   Nitrates (spinach an arugula), Citrulline & L-Arginine (watermelon, walnuts and almonds), Antioxidant-Packed Fruits (blueberries, strawberries, pomeganates). You want to see your veins again. Well, here’s your ticket to an absolute “Horse” show.

   Don’t let a self-destroyed circulatory system get you down. “CRANK” it up with HelloFresh.

5. Rainbows Up, bitchez!

6. Let there be sand in their broccoli.

7. I’m trying to imagine the corporate culture that would produce this. I assume that DEI beliefs are so heavily ingrained that no one dare speak up even against appalling ideas.

   1. DEI cannot be questioned in a corporation which embraces it.

8. Never understood the whole meal kit business thing. Now it’s as repulsive as it was puzzling.

   Put the F’ing game controller down, look up some menu items that interest you, make a shopping list, go shopping. Save a freaking fortune and select better quality foods.

   Every two weeks we (well Grams mainly) do a menu plan, make lists and stick to them, and save money and headaches. Started this years ago when we were both working and coming home and ordering out because we were too worn out to decide on dinner.

   1. Their target demographic is middle-class single mothers and two-income families. Mommy chose her career over her family and just doesn’t have time to cook, don’cha know.

9. Hello faeces is also the standard salutation for greeting GYM.

10. That’s gay foreplay for ya.