Dave Barry- Tax-Preparation Tips
But the truth is, the only part of my tax return that I actually understand are the words “sign here.” I have NO idea what else is in there. For all I know Patty is telling the IRS I own a commercial salamander-breeding facility.
My only worry is that every year … when I prepare my own taxes with the digital assistance of my (tax deductible) TurboTax program … I “swear to” the fact that I have kept “contemporaneous records of my business vehicle use”. Yes … I actually swear to that. That I have written-down, by hand, in a little dog-eared log book the starting mileage and the ending mileage of EVERY business trip. Unh huh … I “swear to that”!
Oh! And since I read that on Bill Clinton’s tax return … he deducted the donation value of his used underwear at $10 ea. Since learning that, I donate and write off a giant stack of black skivvies that look brand new on account of their color … every year.
I remember the heady days of yesteryear when Paul Martin promised to make the tax forms easier to understand. Since then I’ve tried the Turbo-Tax program but gave up several years ago when a bank failed to issue tax slips and now I have to depend on a chartered accountant to file my taxes. Typical Liberal promises all come with a gigantic price tag for the average wage earning tax payer.
I find myself obsessively filling out tax forms all the time. Could I have Turbocancer?