Honey, I Finished The Internet

22 Replies to “Honey, I Finished The Internet”

1. Never go full Greta.

2. Yup. My only takeaway is to tease my wife about our menu: What is it tonight Dear … roast deer, fried deer, barbecued deer, sautéed deer, stewed deer, deer sausage, deer stroganoff….?

   1. Love how you can zing them and they don’t know it.
      Dear…sugar… sweetie pie…

3. I hated Forest Gump, as well. I hated how they treated Jenny. I loved Lonesome Dove. Both book and movie. Don’t like Yellowstone.

   1. Forrest Gump is OK.

      Yellowstone is overrated. I can’t watch Kevin Costner since dances with wolves.

      Made it about halfway through the 1887 series before giving up. Slow and boring. Only made it that far cause the girl is smoking hot.

   2. The Soprano’s killed less people than the Yellowstone crew. Most bogus western I have seen since Blazing Saddles, and not half as good.

4. I saw Forest Gump on TV a few years after it was released. Many catchphrases from the movie had become part of the cultural lexicon, so I figured I’d watch.

   Meh. I got through it OK. ‘Tweren’t ‘orrible. Gump was an unconvincing character. Glad I watched it, but once was enough.

5. Forest Gump was the idiotic culmination of Baby Boomer Hollywood’s obsession with fantasizing about their own lives and experiences. As if every moment of their lives were somehow critically important and historically meaningful. Puhleeze. Running craze? Why not the Racquetball craze? Sorry … Pickleball hadn’t caught on yet.

   Lt. Dan was the only halfway decent part of the film … but he was just a token Nam Vet cripple (sorry … it was already done in Born on the 4th of July) . And isn’t it funny that Hollywood is cheering the crippling and dismemberment of Ukraine soldiers … like 10x the number of boys killed in Nam. But they still need to film the horrors of “America’s Wars”. Oh well … anytime Hollywood tries to do anything other than mindlessly entertain … they fail completely.

   1. Indeed.

   2. Exactly and nicely stated, Kenji. Hollywood’s self-indulgent recollection of their adolescence.

6. How Claudine Gay Canceled Harvard’s Best Black Professor. (mini-doc) 1 year ago

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8xWOlk3WIw

7. I remember reading this years ago -“Forrest Gump is Subversive”:

   https://fee.org/articles/forrest-gump-a-subversive-movie/

   1. Yes, the film certainly appears to celebrate disability and stupidity. And look what our culture is doing today … elevating the dim-witted and social retards to places of supremacy. So, yeah … maybe the film was subversive.

      But I always saw a dim-witted, yet ironically successful Forest Gump as a metaphor of the American male. The slack jawed yokel from the Deep South narrates a newsreel of his own heroic role in the Boomer history of America. Somehow bumbling his way through the transformational history of the last half of twentieth century. Somehow surviving the hate, violence, racism of American history, and monotony of American culture. Giving “legs” to Christ’s admonition that “the meek shall inherit the earth”. I took the entire film as a mockery of America, from the profane to the mundane. Forest Gump was the prototypical American anti-hero … a loser who somehow wins despite his own idiocy.

      1. The whole message was you’re an idiot and mother knows best. That is, obey. Jenny didn’t and got AIDS.

         1. Jenny was even DUMBER than Forest Gump … and a slut … and a naive hippie … but it wasn’t her fault because her drunk, tobacco-farming father was sexually abusing her. Hollywood narratives are predictable, boring, and almost always negative. Mocking humanity itself.

            1. No. I disagree. Yes, the portrayal of Jenny is how you describe but Jenny was portrayed that way for a reason. As Trump is portrayed in the mainstream media. Forest, the retard, obeyed and was blessed. Jenny the free thinker did not and was punished. Think of how they responded to COVID. Jenny wouldn’t have worn her mask. It’s all very left wing and authoritarian leaning. IMHO.

            2. Fair enough … I see your point. But due to her father’s abuse … Jenny was given a pass. She was victimized by the sexual abuse … and hence could never get her life on track.

               Which is interesting since Jenny represented the FREE LOVE era of the counterculture in the film … which at the same time implied her promiscuity was born of daddy’s diddling. Her FREE SPIRIT was not portrayed as a “choice”.

            3. I might have to watch it again but, on the whole, I liked Jenny and didn’t like Forest. Maybe I read too much into these things. Of course, it may just be because I really like Robin Wright and am not as impressed with Hanks as some others seem to be. The Princess Bride is a much better movie come to think of it.

8. “Critics are less relevant today than at any time in human history”.

   I’ve never watched Forest Gump.

9. I disagree about Forrest Gump. Yes, he was borderline idiot, but he could read and write AND he had a single minded focus to all of his activities. Yes, he loved his mother and believed that she would do the best for him. What is wrong with honoring your parents? He was surrounded by good people – even Jenny. Jenny’s tragedy was the fact her father sexually and physically abused her as a child. She was running away from all of that and yet engaged with men who continually abused her.
   I think the vast majority of people complicate their lives needlessly. Live simply, follow the 10 commandments because they work and do not go into debt.

10. I walked out of there thinking Jenny had a really great time with anything in pants….until she got sick and decided to find Gump so he could look after while she died.

    1. TBF … when they were about 8yo … Jenny crawled into bed with Forest, and as high schoolers she put Forest’s hand on her breast. Of course Forest was a simpleton incel … and didn’t know how to handle Jenny’s aggressive, overt, sexuality.