21 Replies to “Giga-Vegan”

  6. “If plants are so intelligent, should we stop eating them?”

    Yes. You need to move onto rocks. I suggest a nice, flavourful chunk o’ pink granite. Chock fulla minerals…

    1. Rocks have rights too, you boulder-hater! What are you, some kind of geophobe?! “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” doesn’t mean what people think!

      1. Well, Dis, I shall Shale dis about dat…
        Your and DB’s comments are Greywacke and a bit Obsidian.
        Oh, and to the point of rock sentience…does it not say somewhere in the old testament that even the rocks cry out to the glory of God?
        And did Jesus not say to Peter (Petra) upon this rock I will build my church?
        It is all crystal clear.

  7. Years ago was working with an English lady, she of course, insisted that you eat only weeds.
    At about the same time, read an article that proposed that plants have feelings, when you pulled one out the one next to it would react, however they measure it.
    When I told her about that, she was quick to answer that she only eats things that don’t have eyes.
    Well, whatever.

  8. I will bet Emma Beddington is a single woman with an arts degree and with no children. Anyone want to bet against me?

    2. “I will bet Emma Beddington is a single woman with an arts degree and with no children.”

      And she has cats.

      “Anyone want to bet against me?”

      Nope.

  9. Well it appears that some plants are more intelligent than most leftists so do we have to start eating them? That might make me puke.

  11. Of course man was meant to be vegan!
    That’s why there are so many prehistoric cave paintings of salad!

  12. I’m still struggling with the question … “do fish feel pain?” Do I need to use barbless hooks and then club the fish unconscious? Or should I only catch and release? … because the fish get stressed during the fight and landing? Or should only practice my fly casting on dry land?

  13. Baxter Black had some words on this –

    “The Vegetarian’s Nightmare
    (a dissertation on plants’ rights)

    Ladies and diners I make you
    A shameful, degrading confession.
    A deed of disgrace in the name of good taste
    Though I did it I meant no aggression.

    I had planted a garden last April
    And lovingly sang it a ballad.
    But later in June beneath a full moon
    Forgive me, I wanted a salad!

    So I slipped out and fondled a carrot
    Caressing its feathery top.
    With the force of a brute I tore out the root!
    It whimpered and came with a pop!

    Then laying my hand on a radish
    I jerked and it left a small crater.
    Then with the blade of my True Value spade
    I exhumed a slumbering tater!

    Celery I plucked, I twisted a squash!
    Tomatoes were wincing in fear.
    I choked the Romaine. It screamed out in pain,
    Their anguish was filling my ears!

    I finally came to the lettuce
    As it cringed at the top of the row
    With one wicked slice I beheaded it twice
    As it writhed, I dealt a death blow.

    I butchered the onions and parsley.
    My hoe was all covered with gore.
    I chopped and I whacked without looking back
    Then I stealthily slipped in the door.

    My bounty lay naked and dying
    So I drowned them to snuff out their life.
    I sliced and I peeled as they thrashed and they reeled
    On the cutting board under my knife.

    I violated tomatoes
    So their innards could never survive.
    I grated and ground ’til they made not a sound
    Then I boiled the tater alive!

    Then I took the small broken pieces
    I had tortured and killed with my hands
    And tossed them together, heedless of whether
    They suffered or made their demands.

    I ate them. Forgive me, I’m sorry
    But hear me, though I’m a beginner
    Those plants feel pain, though it’s hard to explain
    To someone who eats them for dinner!

    I intend to begin a crusade
    For PLANT’S RIGHTS, including chick peas.
    The A.C.L.U. will be helping me, too.
    In the meantime, please pass the bleu cheese.”

    Baxter Black

    Coyote Cowboy Poetry 1986

    1. I dunno whether to laugh or cry (with laughter)!

      Your salad needs dressing, and you need a good dressing down!!!

      And meat. Lots of meat… And maybe eggs (with mustard, mayo and paprika)… And those kroton things.

  14. Food for thought..
    Pretty sure if we put the elites on our menu they will smarten up in about a half a second.. Move on to other non menu related topics :)..

  15. Maybe the eco-nazis should consider this::

    Humans did NOT cultivate plants: (especially grains).

    Plants cultivated HUMANS”

    Th evidence from Asia is unmistakable..

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