Honey, I Finished The Internet

13 Replies to “Honey, I Finished The Internet”

1. Because Africans lack the European psychopath gene.. This is both a good and bad thing.. Depending on how you look at it..

   1. Why would one think of conquering the world when one could get one’s thrills by spending all one’s time slaughtering one’s neighbours?

2. The same TubeYouer finished the internet with this one, too: Rules for Rulers

   https://youtu.be/rStL7niR7gs

3. For the same reason Africans did not invent a written language,
   did not have calendars,
   never discovered the wheel…

   1. Waydammit, didn’t they have hang gliders while our Neolithic ancestors in Europe were still banging rocks together?

4. Now I understand why my Jack Russell Terrorist is the way it is.

5. Does Zebra taste good?

   When I was 8 years old my parents took the surviving 3 of us kids to visit a guy my dad worked with at SaskTel who had a teak table and china cabinet set for sale, and my parents brought it home, it wasn’t anything like what the neighbors had and I’d always wanted one since then.
   A couple of decades later, I read about the guy my parents bought this from being released from prison in Zimbabwe for… I think he was caught spying on the gov’t of Zimbabwe for the gov’t of South Africa and he’d had 5 years to think about it.
   His wife in Yorkton, SK, was really happy to see him again, the article was in The Regina Leader Post back then.

   And like a lot of things which you liked in your childhood, I grew up thinking that to have some teak furniture would be a good sign that you’d done alright in life, economically at least. So over about a decade I started buying some nice furniture bit by bit, until all the furniture in my house was teak and it looked like someone obsessed with 1972 lived in my house.

   About a year ago I saw an ad in kijiji here in Calgary with a teak china cabinet for free if you took the hideous coffee table too, so I gave him a call and soon went to pick it up. His father had bought it when he arrived in Canada from Ghana and was moving into “the home”…
   It’s a beauty.
   After having it home for more than a month in the garage, I opened the drawers and cleaned it out, put some teak oil on it and gave it the once over.
   In the middle drawer at the back, buried under old cassette recorder instructions, was a tea-cloth wrapped up and with something in it, upon viewing it I was in awe. I didn’t know which animal’s teeth these were but they were about 5 inches long, and it did take an hour to find which animal owned these…

   Hippo teeth, bottom two in the middle, (not unfortunately, the massive tusks)
   Still, my daughter Brooke has kept a “nature collection” since she was 3 with beaver teeth, empty robin eggs, desiccated frogs, various feathers etc … and now, hippo teeth.
   I don’t know what hippos taste like either (not yet!), I imagine they’re delicious, maybe even better than zebra!! if you can imagine!!

   Bottom 2, centre, these are about 5 inches long…
   https://boneclones.com/product/hippo-teeth-full-set-of-12-KO-006S

   1. I’ve eaten a dozen different African animals, mostly antelope, but zebra too. All were excellent. The only antelope the Africans themselves don’t like the taste of, that I’ve been told, is the waterbuck. Too ‘oily’. Nice horns, though.

   2. I once considered starting a shop that would sell nothing but Hallowe’en ornaments made out of teak wood. I would have called it “Boo! Teak”. Couldn’t get financing, wonder why.

6. In World war one in Africa when the Germans started to run out of horses, they started a program to domesticate/train/breed zebras to use as a replacement. They had a bit of success. I suspect that if they carried on with the project for a few decades they would have been successful. I don’t believe that Africans didn’t domesticate zebras because it was impossible.

7. Are Zebras lazy?
   Asking for a friend.

8. I have read the book “Guns, Germs and Steel” twice now. It is excellent and has the same information as the video about only 13 animals which can be domesticated world-wide. As well, the Europe-Asian supercontinent had decent weather and had decent geography, allowing early man to spread out with his horses, cattle, sheep, pigs and fowl (ducks, geese, chicken…).
   I strongly urge the reading of this book which shows that Europeans and Asians were dealt the best set of cards with which to build their civilizations.
   South America had the next best but the Andes were very problematic to traverse and apparently llamas like to spit at people and can only carry 22 kilograms of weight (they do not have strong backs) so only small children could ride them. There were lots of poisonous snakes as there are in Africa and Australia.
   Once the Spanish conquistadores arrived and lost a few dozen horses, the American native people were finally able to take off in building more complex societies.

   1. I thought “Guns, Germs, and Steel” was about life in Hamilton?