22 Replies to “How Was Your Day?”

  1. My niece did some time as an ER nurse in downtown Toronto. Always made it a point to get her talking about work. Never a disappointment…she had the most awesome stories. Lots of folks lose things up their arse it seems.

  2. Must be an NDP voter. After all, Jagmeat popularized being an orange pustule on Trudeau’s arse. Where else would he store his water bottle.

  4. Oh, come on now (no pun intended). We’ve all fallen on things and had them end up lodged in our rectums, vaginas, or urethras. Or all three. At the same time.

    If you’re really curious to see how I managed that, check out my OnlyFans site.

    2. “Oh, come on now (no pun intended). We’ve all fallen on things and had them end up lodged in our rectums, vaginas, or urethras. Or all three. At the same time.”

      Reminds me of the old recurring SNL sketch “Appalachian Emergency Room” 🙂

    1. NME…

      It took me 10 min to stop laffin my (_I_) off….

      “Armageddon” ….!!
      Had to be one of the funniest stories ever told on Radio….

      1. 1997 – 1998) “In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil,” Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
        “I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted out ‘Armageddon,’ my cue that he’d had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.”

        At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

        “The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki’s colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki’s colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball.’

        Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

        Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.

    1. He’ll have a gerbil up his ass….guaranteed..!!

      And pretty sure there’ll be some rank 1-1/2 ABS around too….

  9. More people die every year in the USA from shoving things in their bums than from AR15s. Scientific fact.

  13. I worked the switchboard of a major hospital in Toronto in my late teens. Between chats with the nurses, the doctors and information divulged by callers, I got a real education.

  14. Years ago a small Ontario town had a very loud a doctor who didn’t put patient confidentiality high on his list. One of my work-mates met him at the busy Post Office one morning:

    “G’day Doc, what’s new?”

    “Well, I’ve been a doctor for 41 years and I’ve seen some strange things, but last night in Emergency there was a man with carrot up his rectum. It was Mr. *&^% from ______ Road.”

    So with a complete lack of subtlety, the local French-Canadian population hung the nickname “Carrotte” on him….and that was what he was called, to his face, till the day he died.

  15. It’s very good that it’s not single use plastic, butt I use a 2 litre plastic water bottle paper juice box thingy.

  16. When I was employed in a research lab at a regional medical center, it was considered a demonstration of extreme skill to be able to extract an unbroken light bulb. The ER had quite a collection of recovered household items.

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