I, For One, Welcome Our New Self-Driving Overlords

Tech 29 Comments

What if we decide “no more creepy Macdonalds”?

The fast-food chain is turning to artificial intelligence and machine learning in the hopes of predicting what customers want before they decide.

Can they predict that?

29 Replies to “I, For One, Welcome Our New Self-Driving Overlords”

  1. I already know what to do with rotten ronnies. Ignore them.
    I buy a couple of pounds of ground beef, a few onions, tomatoes and lettuce, some buns, cheese and condiments, and spend an enjoyable 30 minutes, sipping a cold brew, not available at the golden shower, oops I meant, arch, making delicious (puppers tells me they are) burgers.
    I recommend cooking your own food to everyone. If you have younguns, please encourage them to experiment with fire and meat

    1. Yup. And next level is growing your own veg, buying your own cow or hunting your own moose and brewing your own beer. It takes time but it is time well spent and great and rewarding family centred fun.

      1. not only that what, it is plausible there is coming a time when folks will HAVE TO go that route to get food and brew etc.
        it’s called hyperinflation and there is NOTHING in all creation and the history of civilization that completely and permanently guarantees that a given nation or time that will not encounter a session of said economic catastrophe.
        there are no guarantees.
        the leading edge of hyperinflation is unmanageable DEBT tqvm ms wynnedfarm, TURDoo 2.0 et al.

      2. Your attempt at sarcasm is an abject failure.
        Some who live in rural Canada indeed do what you say. You have to live in that environment to do it. But even in Canada the overwhelming majority of people live in the cities. However, even in the cities, almost every home has a … get this … anachronistic room called the … kitchen … wherein one indeed can cook his own food. Some retrogrades even do this, gasp, daily. Even I can make a better burger than MacDonald’s. It is a very low bar.
        Your leap of hyperbole is akin to replying to someone who suggests walking a mile a day for exercise, and saying yup, and [the] next level is running a marathon. While almost everyone can, and should, walk at least a mile a day, few are fit enough to run a marathon. Failure to run a marathon does not negate the benefits of a short walk. Similarly, failure to do what you suggested does not negate the benefits of making a burger yourself, just the way you like it.

    2. The student newspaper at my university alma mater had a tradition of running a spoof edition at the end of each term. Some years, the editorial staff came up with some real zingers.

      One time, while I was an undergrad, the classified section poked fun at Macdonalds. I remember one ad in which the public was invited to a taste test to see if anyone could tell the difference between one of the burgers on the menu at the time (a Quarter-pounder, I think) and a piece of foam rubber.

      As for the doggie taste test, whenever the last critter in the family stays with me when I’m at the house I inherited, he doesn’t eat human food. He inhales it, but not until he’s first given me the “I’m a poor hungry dog” look.

  2. If your business model is to sell as much unhealthy and/or over-consumption leading to ill health.
    Then some of your customer base subsequently dies off due to ill health.
    Others decide to avoid following them to morbidity and early mortality.
    It’s is a sign that the buyers are evolving along the survival of the fittest.
    Businesses that can’t do likewise become extinct.
    Notably, few businesses survive 3 generations.

    The invisible hand of the marketplace wields a terrible, swift sword.

    1. I get a kick out of criticism that ignores the lack of self control of individuals. McDonalds is no more harmful than any other food. Stuff enough in your face and you get fat and ill, that applies to home cooking.

      1. BINGO OWG … I avoid Rotten Ronnies except when travelling and then you can’t beat the clean washrooms, decent service and decent food with acceptable coffee all served quickly while dad gases the van. You can be anywhere in North America and get the same decent quality at a fair price and you are back on the road quickly and good for another couple of hundred kilometres. Same story with Tims & road trips but only in Canada.
        I always laugh at the fatties getting the multiple patties and jumbo fries etc

  3. Burger Flame rules!! A coffee and a soft ice cream for $2.20. Main Street, Moose Jaw.

  5. -“The fast-food chain is turning to artificial intelligence and machine learning in the hopes of predicting what customers want before they decide.”-

    AI/machine learning, my Aunt Fanny. This can only mean that McD’s is buying your debit/credit card history.
    “Predictions” can only be made based on the knowledge of your past purchase history. Who owns McDs? Five Eyes perhaps.

    1. Yea…well its back to CASH for me on the VERY odd occasion I might buy a Fillet Meal. Hmm once maybe twice a year. Best Burger on the rd..?? Teen Burger’s aint bad, at least its a REAL Tomatoe and Lettuce. But I have to admit, the best on the rd burgers, onion Rings n Fries often come from one of those converted old buses that some guy put together… parked in somewhere Canada.

      In the end, at home, a few lbs of Grnd Beef, 2 eggs, Montreal Steak spice, Garlic, a few Oats and Cattle Boys BBQ sauce – Makes some mighty fine Burgers. ADD some Co-op Branded Beer and I’m Good to go.!!

      1. Amen to that – I pay cash and, since I’m in one of those provinces that don’t demand a front license plate, they even have an extra chore tracking my plate. Track THIS, Zuck!

        For best, I’d have to cast my vote for Peter’s in Calgary; Rotten Ronnie opened across the street a long time ago, but they weren’t there very long. But Calgary being a bit of a drive, around here I’d have to cast my vote for Harvey’s – all the dill pickles ‘n hot peppers I can cram on it, and LOVE their fries for some unexplainable reason. I don’t do business with A&W anymore; which is sad, I loved the Teen Burger. ‘She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed’ doesn’t like Harvey’s and is addicted to Wendy’s so we usually go there, they’re okay too but the one around here has the slowest drive-thru on the planet.

  6. It’s food. Don’t know what you are complaining about. If you want to eat it, eat it. If you don’t want to eat it, don’t eat it. If you want to preach, and signal some kind of virtue, STFU. I think it is likely more to do with minimum wage laws. They know they cannot sell the food they make, at a price people are willing to pay, if they have to pay staff 2 to 3 times what they believe the job to be worth. So the jobs are going away, and we see once again that the real minimum will always be zero.

    1. Mandatory minimum wages are the result of economic illiteracy. The minimum is always the bottom and costs will always rise to eat up any supposed gains, leaving that wage right where it was when it comes to purchasing power.

    2. I gotta admit. McD’s Coffee Blows away that swill from Tims. We buy it in Keurig compostable pods as well. Good Shit.

      As for AI – that garbage needs to be shot down – physically wherever it rears its nosy head. We dont FKN need it – EVER. While we are at that…time to dump or significatnly DUMB down our so called Smart Phones as well. Far Far too invasive for my liking.

        1. It is a Mother Parkers blend. Just about the same one I used in my coffee shop a long time ago.

  8. McWho??
    My family and I are generally disappointed when we are in the city and go out for a meal.
    IF it is a good meal it’s overpriced, the beer and appetizers are the money makers and I feel like I was robbed.
    Buy a Traeger, Pit Boss or some other pellet grill. I guarantee you will never look back.
    It’s late fall so I can control the smoke and heat really well.
    A welding blanket is awesome for winter cooking.

  9. Amazing how so many can get all starry eyed at the prospect of AI coming up with anything of value.
    Ask a few humans, maybe even those with their feet on the ground, and you will get a better answer.
    How well did computer models do at predicting our weather? Remember how the polar ice caps were supposed to be gone by 2015? How about the predicted hot, dry, desert like conditions…that produced the Maritime floods and the cold wet summer we just had in the West? Sea levels risen at all yet?

    By all means, run the computer modelling.
    Then plan for the exact opposite.

  10. Fast food itself is a workaround—for the refusal, after the Second World War, of women to cook proper food for their husbands and children.

    If the average north American wife consistently had a nourishing and delicious home-cooked breakfast and a packed lunch ready for her husband before he went to work, and a dinner ready when he came home, McDonald’s would be out of business.

    But no. Liberated women have better things to do (go to a make-work government job where they paint their nails, check Facebook, and exchange cat pictures, Justin selfies and complaints about how men don’t respect them).

    1. I love it. I used to work in a Fed Govt office just as you describe…………
      my son’s wife (mid 20’s) goes to work at a downtown office in tights or leggings that we would see in a gym. Way too revealing for office attire….. Their bedroom looks like a bomb went off. Clothes piled on the floor everywhere. She doesn’t clean house or cook. The mistake he did is he started out doing all this stuff himself to be nice but now it would not dawn on her to help out….. she has this entitlement..I just don’t get it!!!

    2. And all that predicated on the Men being able to bring home enough cashola so said wife would not ever have to work. Seems to me the Monied Elites of the planet fixed that “problem”. Kinda of a two fer one deal. All started when those bastards De-linked the USD from the Gold Standard.

      Get women working and paying taxes, then Govt can “look after yer kids”…. that way all will eventually become SLAVES to the “machine”.

      And voila – I present you the beyond Fucked up Western World we now live in.
      The Fix has been in for many many decades.

  11. Hah. Can you blame them? This is the burger chain that can’t successfully sell a sandwich with a tomato slice in it. Or a pizza. Can’t fault them for wanting A.I., seems to be precious little naturally occurring intelligence in their executive suite.

  12. a well located local ronnie mcdonnies . . . . . . .
    closed their doors for some glossed over reason.
    I took the opportunity to post a notice on the takeout window to the effect
    ‘oh look, McD doesnt get to diktat who isnt allowed to cycle on the sidewalk anymore. karma, she one NASTY byatch eh?’

    mcd gets my business about twice a YEAR when there is no ready alternative.

  14. AI is BS! A computer cannot predict diddly-squat. The best they can do is analyze past purchases and even
    then, they cannot predict what you want to order. If my experiences are anything to go by, the AI algorithms
    are so bad they cannot even predict my sex. The adware in Microsofts solitaire has been bombarding this
    63-year-old male with ads for Vagasil, sanitary napkins, and Tampons. And you wonder why the “self-driving”
    cars are involved in so many crashes?

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