I, For One, Welcome Our New Self-Driving Overlords

Baby, you can drive my car.

This after-sales support is a relatively new problem that automakers are facing. As cars become more and more intertwined with electronics and software, the interactions and potential for errors increase exponentially. This is less of a problem for a company like Apple, which sells a phone for hundreds of dollars that gets replaced after a couple of years. Automakers like BMW, on the other hand, are expected to build a car that works just like the day it rolled off the showroom floor for hundreds of thousands of miles in all kinds of conditions.

Confidence inspiring.

Related, via Mark Spiegel: This is the “genius” responsible for the $TSLA’s “killer app” Autopilot.

17 Replies to “I, For One, Welcome Our New Self-Driving Overlords”

  1. I look at car ownership under the lense of the KISS principal.

    I don’t want my car connecting to anything external other than the block heater and the gas pump.

  2. By the way, most companies I’ve worked for upgrade their entire hardware every THREE years.

    Reasons? Hard drives wear out. Electronics (esp. solid-state drives) break down. Dust in the machines (human skin dust). Hardware configuration can’t keep up with software upgrades (e.g., operating systems).

    They sell them to their employees for blow-out prices, e.g., $5.

    And don’t forget. The computers in cars are designed SPECIFICALLY for that particular make, model, and year. Upgrading them is probably impossible.

    Guess what that means for computers in cars? You get to replace your car more frequently! More cars in the recycling world, just like computers and smartphones!

    1. I drive a 1991 VW Golf, which I bought brand new. It has electronic ignition but, aside from that, the engine operates pretty much the same as the one I had in my old Rabbit. The only times I’ve had problems starting it is when the engine’s too cold due to the weather or the battery was dead.

      I can still do some work on it if necessary.

      The truck I inherited from my father is a 2013 Dodge Turbo Ram. It has all sorts of fancy-schmancy electronic doodaddery on it which, often, is more trouble than it’s worth. OK, it’s nice that it warns me about low tire pressure, but it can sometimes be quite cantankerous and won’t start easily.

      During the time that my father drove it, it spent a lot of time in the garage, making him wonder if he had bought himself a lemon.

      1. What was that rule of thumb from Scotty in Star Trek again?

        I think it was something like this: “The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.”

        I put it this way: “The more complex it is, the easier it is to gum up the works.”

        Henry Ford would be turning over in his grave.

      2. My daily driver is a 1991 BMW 325i with a 5-speed transmission. I baby that car and keep that car because the power to weight ratio makes it just stupid fun to drive … and it is a small (2-door coupe) that feels like a sports car. It is also very simple, with no more “computer” than an onboard ECU that controls the fuel injection and smog components, to work on. Some years ago, I installed a set of Bilstein sport shocks which allow me to corner at virtually any speed I choose. But it IS a 1991 automobile and things wear out. Just this past weekend I had to rebuild the hydraulic clutch system; master cylinder, slave cylinder, and all lines/fittings/hoses. It is a simple system that was a pain to fix because I don’t have a soyboy’s long, slender, ladylike fingers to reach into tight spaces … but I do own a righteous set of tools!

        When I drive this car … I enjoy the DRIVING experience. I spend plenty of time on my iPad, iPhone, and desktop computer … I DO NOTneed those devices onboard my automobile. I sincerely WISH nobody had those things onboard THEIR automobiles. Why? Because they’re fkcuing NOT paying attention to driving. It used to be that If I had a green light … I’d just roll thru the intersection. No more. I now treat EVERY green light as though it’s a YELLOW light … CAUTION … that some New-Gen. Driver staring at their “connected” console will T-bone me. I don’t want my obit to read … “killed by distracted driver”.

  3. The problem will only be worse for electrics and hybrids – only the dealer will be able to service them, because only they will have replacements for all the ( Chinese ) junk subsystems. This is one reason the automakers won’t fight a mandatory switch to electrics very hard – they will re-capture all the business going to independent repair shops now.

    1. Not true. By law they have to make the parts and tech available to independent shops.

      1. Yes but do the regulations say anything about the price they have to charge those shops? You wouldn’t know what law specifies this requirement would you?

        And are there any requirements that the diagnostic gear, and training necessary to install those parts be made available to independents as well? I very much doubt it.

  4. A town in this area got hit with a huge flood in the 90’s. One businessman had his three weeks old BMW totally sunk. I don’t remember the model but it cost him around $A 100,000. When he mentioned to his insurance rep that he ought to qualify for a new one he was told that they would fix it up as good as new.

    He got the new one – there were seven computer boards in it that were going to cost about $A 57,000.

    Re longevity of newer computerised vehicles. A couple of comments from UK classic car magazines:-

    Seems there is only ONE bloke in UK that understands the computer in Aston V8’s.

    And a dealer comment was that he expects his vehicle display to look much the same as a few years ago because of the computer problems of the new and shiny gear.

    1. My Oppo BDP-105 BluRay player, which is also my primary streaming device AUTOMATICALLY updates itself with firmware necessary to play the ever changing film industry technology and broadcast TV. Yes … the upgrades are FREE.

      What’s so hard about BMW providing FREE firmware upgrades? Sorry, I don’t “buy” the … “it’s too technical and specialized”, yadda yadda yadda explanation. It’s all about $$$$$ … and Apple’s continued movement into a subscription-based business model.

    1. Only until they are legislated off the roads for the sake of “safety” and “saving the planet”. Which the manufacturers are lobbying for now and the governments are amenable to because it’s their job to run our lives for us, at our expense.

      1. BTW … re: my 1991 BMW mentioned above. I JUST YESTERDAY received a letter in the mail from CARB (CA Air Resources Board) which offered me $1,000.00 to buy-back my old “polluting” car which I have to SMOG test every year (it always passes). The letter stated that the buy-back was voluntary, not mandatory … yet … I don’t believe it will be long before that language changes to MANDATORY.

        What CARB doesn’t understand is that my car isn’t a “polluter” as I keep it properly tuned up … and I just replaced the Oxygen sensor which regulates tailpipe exhaust. Why do I do these maintenance tasks? Because this car is “worth” much, much, MORE to me than $1000.00. If I lose this car, I will have to replace it with a much more expensive new or used car. The eco-zealots at CARB don’t understand kitchentable economics. Nor do they understand that I am preventing the need to produce another replacement automobile which has a far greater impact on the planet than my maintenance and conservation of this efficiently-running automobile.

        1. Maybe I will get to drive our oldest one into a site where I will remove most of the green idiots from my presence all at once. You know, jihad by automobile.

          1. After receiving the CARB letter … I was ready to go FULL eco-jihad on the soyboys who drafted that fascist dogma!! I swear … the Govt. is gonna have to put me on a no-drivers license-renewal watch list … no high capacity turbo purchases that could convert my semi-automatic vehicle into a fully automatic … fast as schitt… killing machine!!

  5. Re: “Free CarPlay could turn into a necessary feature to remain competitive, much like automated emergency braking has become.”

    There is no such thing as free, it will be built into the price of the automobile.

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