They Hate Us For Our Grocery Marketing Practices

Religion Of Submission 46 Comments

AP;

At least two major insurgent groups are battling al-Qaida in provinces outside Baghdad, American military commanders said Friday, an indication of a deepening rift between Sunni guerrilla groups in Iraq.
U.S. officers say a growing number of Sunni tribes are turning against al-Qaida, repelled by the terror group’s sheer brutality and austere religious extremism. The tribes are competing with al-Qaida for influence and control over diminishing territory in the face of U.S. assaults, the officers say. The influx of Sunni fighters to areas outside the capital in advance of the security crackdown in Baghdad may have further unsettled the region.
“This is a big turning point,” U.S. Maj. David Baker said Friday in the Diyala provincial capital of Baqouba. “If they are fighting against each other, it’s better than them fighting against us.”
[…]
“It’s happening daily,” Lt. Col. Keith Gogas said Thursday in an interview at an Army base in Muqdadiyah, 60 miles northeast of Baghdad. “Our read on it is that that the more moderate, if you will, Sunni insurgents, are finding that their goals and al-Qaida’s goals are at odds.”
American commanders cite al-Qaida’s severe brand of Islam, which is so extreme that in Baqouba, al-Qaida has warned street vendors not to place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are different genders, Col. David Sutherland said.

Cover those melons, infidel woman!

46 Replies to “They Hate Us For Our Grocery Marketing Practices”

  1. I hope the US quietly stands back and lets these muslim idiots kill each other. Get some of their Iragi allies to keep stoking the fires of the insurgents and let the various factions be consumed in the flames.

  2. I wonder if Al-Quaeda would be kind enough to publish a list of the vegetables that we can place together. After all, I wouldn’t want to condone miscegenation in my fridge.

  3. I wonder if Al-Quaeda would be kind enough to publish a list of the vegetables that we can place together. After all, I wouldn’t want to condone miscegenation in my fridge.
    Posted by: dmorris at April 21, 2007 6:46 PM
    Especially since , biologically,a tomato is a FRUIT and a strawberry is a vegetable. Oh my, can I put my iceberg lettuce next to the cabbage???

  4. Were it not for the fact that they are dangerous, these misbegotten spawn of a pedophile thief would be funny. Unfortunatly they murder people over things like that.

  5. holy tomaters batman , I didnt know.
    I had always assumed all vegtables were female as well as all fruit. well they all act female , ask scooter or svend.
    the muslim world , though leading science from about 700 to 1300 AD , stopped dead in their tracks and havent advanced one iota since.

  7. And the people writing our food rules tell us to eat more salads. Will they be arrested for offending a muslim.

  8. “This is a big turning point,”
    Gee. We’ve never heard that before. You guys will believe anything.

  9. “And the people writing our food rules tell us to eat more salads. Will they be arrested for offending a muslim.”
    Posted by: mary T.
    And that’s just the tip of the iceberg lettuce. What about the dressing? If you apply the same dressing to a multigendered salad, would there not be cross-dressing involved? From what I hear, French dressing can be really bad for this sort of thing.

  10. I always thought it was kind of suggestive they built the skydome beside the CN tower, especially when the dome is open on those hot, sultry nights.
    Hey, those places have different names now, don’t they? Don’t matter, it doesn’t hide the shame.

  12. John said,
    “Gee. We’ve never heard that before. You guys will believe anything.”
    Really? It’s amazing how fast people such as yourself are willing to believe the worst of the posters here but it is equally amazing how fast you will ignore/deny the inane of our enemies.
    To sum up. We are crazy enough to believe that Al Qaeda would warn against placing tomatoes and cucumbers together but you think we are crazy for believing that Al Qaeda would warn against placing tomatoes and cucumbers together.
    Now which of us is most likely to be misguided?

  13. Seriously, any gardener knows that tomatoes do not like cucumbers, brocolli, or cauliflour. Also carrots do not like dill, but zucchini like beans.
    It’s all very complicated, but melons like everyone, but they really like corn and radish the best.
    Personally, I think it’s all bunk, like Al Qaida, the snivelling cowards. Plant one US Marine next to one Al Qaida, you get justice.

  14. “Lord knows what they would make of the Winnona Peach Festival”
    Don’t worry, Stephen, the people in Winona are tough, intelligent and good looking. They fear nothing.

  15. John said,
    “Gee. We’ve never heard that before. You guys will believe anything.”
    Actually I draw the line at people like you John. People who are quick to gainsay every sign of progress. You can believe that this will be the first insurgency in history to go on forever or to be successful without popular support.
    Sunni insurgents fighting al Qaeda is a turning point. Get a clue.

  16. Sort of OT. Catch the cbc national tonight. Clear garbage bags are the next thing to be made mandatory, and garbage police are on their way. Showed one group checking a bag and noticing a toilet paper roll and stating it should have gone into the paper recycling bin, or into compost. Hey, not all of us have gardens or anyplace to put compost. Better be careful of your peelings, don’t mix or match, you will offend a muslim.

  17. So many opportunities to reply! Here goes:
    John: (quoting others) “This is a big turning point”
    Shurely in context, that should read “This is a big turnip point”.
    Slick: “I always thought it was kind of suggestive they built the skydome beside the CN tower”. Yes, Toronto proudly has the world’s tallest phallic symbol next to the world’s largest concrete vulva. Toronto is *sexy*, man!
    cal2: “the muslim world , though leading science from about 700 to 1300 AD , stopped dead in their tracks and havent advanced one iota since.” I don’t disagree, but wouldn’t it be fair to say they were leading by default? Rome had collapsed, and the rest of northern Europe was overrun by various groups. Then, after some semblance of order had been restored, Europe proceeded to waste vaste amounts of money and manpower on the Crusades between 1095 and 1291. However, once the wasteful wars ended, and the Renaissance took hold, Europe took off, and never looked back.

  19. John (7:38PM)
    What are you doing here with the grownups? The Iraq war is worth fighting, as a war in Sudan would be worth fighting, as a war in Rwanda would have been worth fighting, as was Vietnam, Korea, and World War II. Just because weenies like you don’t want to free, oh, a few hundred million people from tyranny doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be freed.
    I should be first in line to fight, then? OK, just as soon as YOU trade places with some poor schmuck in Baghdad who has to live with a boot clamped down on his neck.
    You come across like some kind of high school punk, or poli sci sophomore. Hey “pal”, if a guy like David Horowitz let the scales fall from his eyes regarding Vietnam, who the hell are you to carp about somebody else who “will believe anything”?

  21. Now hold up for a minute – so the average Iraqi on the streets of the Sunni Triangle, he’s got no problems with Al Qaeda death squads, no problems with AQ beheadings, he’s pretty fine with AQ blowing up mosques – but tell us how to arrange our vegetables? Well now Al Qaeda’s gone too far!
    This is what it took for them to realize Al Qaeda are fanatics?

  22. “They Hate Us For Our Grocery Marketing Practices”
    LOL 😉
    Yes and every other social innovation reformed Christian thought has prodiced to take western culture out ot the 14th century ( and the theocratic despots of the era)
    Name 1 mooslim scientific discovery ( outside the repoductive capability of goat crossbreeding with mullahas)

  27. WL Mackenzie: how about two? Algebra (invented by Al-Gebr) and Algorithms (invented by Al-Kharizm). Of course, that was hundreds of years ago, but still I have to give credit where it is due.
    I’ve gotta say I’m surprised that nobody has complimented Kate on her tomatoes yet. Oh, c’mon, you know you’re thinking it, you gherkins.

  28. I think it was in Barry Broadfoot’s “Ten Lost Years” (Canada in the 1930s) where I read an account of how a really mean railway bull was found one morning pegged up on the side of a boxcar with his billy club shoved up his butt. Gives me an idea of how those Iraqi vegetable sellers might want to enlist al-Qaida’s less-than-willing help in concealing a few of those cukes.
    I hope they’re a good foot-and-a-half in length.

  29. Was it Freud that introduced us to phallyc symbols?Wouldn’t that be melons in burka’s..not cukes? Cukes would be under zippers….

  30. Hey when I was a lot younger I used pick up tomatoes and give them the cucumber.
    I think the kids today call that “hooking up”.
    I like the veggie analogy better.
    Many Muslims wait until they are dead and do it to virgins in heaven. Can you imagine doing it right in front of God?
    Does that make Allah a bit of a voyeur?
    I could go on, but it’s late and I am tired just thinking about this stuff. And my face hurts from laughing.

  32. Hey Ed:
    I thought Al Gore invented Algorithms.
    After all…the genius did invent the internet ya know 🙂

  33. “Baked sized french fries-how they love Tomatoes.”
    –Stompin’ Tom
    Dammit, Kate, until you published this, I hadn’t been consciously aware of the fornication going on all around us. No wonder the Vegan movement is growing.
    Wait till our fundamentalist friends turn their attention to the hanky-panky going on at our workstations.

  34. Goatification is Islam.
    Mohammed-Allah: old goats.
    …-
    And in Sudan, a man married a goat, and it didn’t turn out too baaaadly: Sudan man forced to ‘marry’ goat.
    A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his “wife”, after he was caught having sex with the animal.
    The goat’s owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders. They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
    “We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together,” Mr Alifi said. …-
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/

  36. Loks like AL QUEDA is losing a lot of its supporters becuase AL QUEDA are acting so uncivilized

  41. This Talibanic oppression of vegetables must cease, but, without wanting to make any moral equivalences, I think we have some distance to go ourselves:
    Vegetables live in oppression
    Served on our tables each night
    This killing of veggies is madness
    I say we take up the fight
    Salads are only for murderers
    Cole slaw’s a fascist regime
    Don’t think that they don’t have feelings
    Just ’cause a radish can’t scream
    I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables,
    Watching their skins being peeled,
    Grated and steamed with no mercy,
    How do you think that feels,
    Carrot juice constitutes murder,
    Greenhouses prisons for slaves,
    It’s time to stop all this gardening,
    Let’s call a spade a spade.
    h/t The Arrogant Worms

  43. seems like darwinism at its best. a perfect group to practice it for one generation as a great experiment.
    as for vegan feminists, do they realize they are only eating female vegatables? a self realization like this and they to could be on the darwin list , although I think they already practice “eat or be eaten”

  44. Why does this remind me of a Monty Python skit:
    “if you get attacked by a rutabega, don’t come crying to me.”

  45. Then there’s that inter-species stuff. Fundies of all stripes will react to this sort of thing:
    Call any vegetable
    (Call any vegetable)
    Pick up your phone
    (Call any vegetable)
    Think of a vegetable
    (Call any vegetable)
    Lonely at home
    (Call any vegetable)
    Call any vegetable And the chances are good
    That a vegetable will respond to you
    No one will know
    If you don’t want to let them know
    No one will know
    ‘Less it’s you that might tell ’em so
    Call and they’ll come to you
    Covered with dew
    Vegetables dream Of responding to you
    Standing there shiny and proud by your side
    Holding your hand while the neighbors decide
    Why is a vegetable something to hide?
    See what a slippery slope this all is? Maybe Al-Qaeda is onto something. 🙂

  46. Good thing they’ve never heard of Veggie Tales –they’d be pretty offended by the fact that both Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato are male. Decadent Westerners! Oh, and they’d be really offended by the explicit Christian content.

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