54 Replies to “I, Napoleon”

  1. The Germans have the best words.

    Stehpinkler – a man who sits, also not much of a man.

    2. In German … Ich habe eine grosse schertke. Hence making sitting to pee … challenging.

    2. It’s a measure of pride in the competition of :
      -the highest
      -the farthest
      -most accurate
      -bonus points- spelling
      sitting sez nancyboy.

  4. Camille Paglia once said that the problem with the trans movement was that it meant the end of butch lesbians, which a lot of other lesbians kind of liked. It’s a shame they can’t be happy with who they are.

  5. I sit down to pee.

    At 7am. Because I have morning wood.

    Is that triggering enough for ya?

  6. That website is a mind-blower.
    I read one entry where the writer said she restored her virginity (including hymen) using subliminal messages.

  7. Sitting while peeing gives you a strong sense of feeling safe, putting a more positive spin on the experience of peeing, the ability to concentrate more on what you’re doing because of the relief that comes from having your legs spread wide instead of trying to hold them up with one hand while trying not to take a leak in the other

    Whoever wrote this sure is in touch with what it’s like to be a man…

    “The only women’s magazine worth reading.”

    OK, the whole magazine has to be troll.

    1. Lol. Another great read!

      These people are funny writers, and I hate to say this, but a little therapy is indicated.

  9. To avoid confusion, when I use the expression that a man “squats when he pees, ” I am not being complimentary.

  10. Sorry, but I feel uncomfortable sitting on a sink.

    And it’s dangerous!
    What if I fell off of the sink while having a piss?

    2. Stan, very funny. I know what you mean.
      Nearly 50 years ago our first house had one bathroom.
      My wife took a lot of time with her ablutions.
      So … what was a guy to do.

  11. This magazine is a major find. I am bookmarking it. Sample from another story

    I was starting to get ahead economically and then they cut off my phone and electricity. I had a leech line to keep the lights on but they found it and yanked it. George said I could use his phone but the johns have my phone number not his. So I have lost a lot of them unless I see them on the streets. It is very hot and the bugs are really coming out. They are even eating the toothpaste.

    https://femoid.com/the-strange-things-men-pay-prostitutes-to-do/

  14. I travel a lot and I want to be sure I’m always being sensitive.

    What do I do when the toilet is a hole in the floor?

  15. Gentlemen ha ha ha this is why they invented sinks FFS.
    Be creative but only when visiting Femzoids. If they are Ladies and don’t have a imaginary penis, don’t ever do this.

  16. Lord how are we failing trannies now? Real men pee standing up unless they are so drunk, on beer or whiskey no wine or girl drinks, that they are about to fall over and get pee everywhere. Even so, a real man would risk it.

    1. Hell yah. One time many many years ago, I was returning, walking or staggering along with buddies from a monumental piss up somewhere near the Husky Tower in Calgary. Nature called. There was the Husky Tower the biggest damn tree in Calgary. I pissed on the locked front doors leaning into the door so as not to get any on me cobs, my buddies immediately joined me, just before the shake I realized hell I could get clubbed senseless if some cop saw this. Give it a couple a shakes and took off. LMAO EPIC PISSER

  17. I suppose it depends.
    Admittedly, it is hard to read a book while standing and peeing, on the other hand I am not going to sit under a shower.

  18. I’ll admit it, at 3 in the am, in the dark, shuffling off to the bathroom, tired and still half asleep, I sit to pee.
    I’ve got terrible aim when my eyes are mostly closed and if sweety steps in a drop then I’m going down to the couch.
    But I still can write my name in the snow, and yes, cursive or block letters and if I have enough beer (if there is such a thing) both. And maybe backwards as well.

    1. Buddy, there is no such thing as “bad aim”.

      Rather, it’s “Incorrect placement of toilet”.

        1. Or what I saw in a loo at the oil refinery I worked at during my undergrad summers:

          Cleanliness is our aim. Your aim will help.

        2. Seen in a Montreal loo where they charged ten cents to enter the stall:
          “Here I sit, broken hearted,
          Paid a dime, and only f@r%ed”…

    1. OK Braggin Rights. How many of you have a washroom named after them. I do. Here’s the sordid tale. Years ago when I still worked, the new building a shop had a new lunchroom for us guys about 30 men, and washroom put in by the contractor.
      Problem was that he put a woman’s shitter in. A man’s shitter has enough room for Old Bruno. Old Bruno does not like cold porcelain first thing in the morning.
      Everytime I went for a dump, I had to restrain Bruno or he would drag bottom on the cold porcelain.
      One morning I had enough. Our health and safety meeting happened to be that day. So during the meeting when it came my turn when asked if I had safety issues. I stood up and laid my complaint. Well really Bruno’s complaint. After the laughter and guffawing died down. I advised the chairman that unless the Big Boss was at the next meeting I would lay a formal complaint on hygienic grounds about the unmanly toilet. I then advised all and sundry that they had my sympathy for not being able to reach the porcelain.
      Sure enough next meeting the Big Cahoona showed up. And again I laid my complaint on behalf of Ol Bruno. But because I had forwarned him in the minutes of the meeting, he was ready.
      He announced that he had a contractor arranged to install a proper manly toilet, but with the proviso that it would henceforth be named after myself..
      A very dubious honor that I carry with Pride. Ha Ha Ha

      1. There’s a scene in the John Wayne movie The Green Berets about that sort of thing. The last request of one GB was to have a privy named after him.

    1. Drinking beer and riding shotgun out a tractor-trailer window along the Skeena river on the way to Prince Rupert.

  22. I can still piss up a rope.
    Not only that, I can stand tall while creating a bigger canvas of abstract art in the snow than Jack the dripper Pollock ever could.

  24. In all fairness, as a man, I do sit to pee. Once, often twice a day. It would be rather unfortunate if I didn’t.

    The rest of the time it’s like playing that fair game where you have to shoot the water into a hole to win the horse race. Except without the horses, and the only prize for winning is not having to listen to my wife complain about how gross it is behind the toilet, which never happens anyway because I have 3 boys and they always lose the game and it’s like an army pit latrine behind the toilet.

  27. My canine step-brother is getting on in years and he occasionally has to sit on the grass to relieve himself instead of finding a good spot where he can raise his leg. I guess after a few rounds of playing “go und get it” at his age, his joints must have been hurting.

  28. As years go by, I’ve come to realize it’s not so much peer pressure as it is ‘pee-er’ pressure!

  29. For some, stupidity is a way of life.
    There is no way out.
    Perhaps one day they will wake up and pull their hands out of the chamber pot.

  32. I remember imbibing a lot of beer at Bar None at the U of Alberta in the early 1970s with mega-thousands of my closest friends. Why I went to a Ag student event instead of having more fun staying in residence and slurping noodles with the imports is beyond me. Anyway – I went to have a whiz and the lines were ten deep for the urinals so I improvised and used the sink. Next time I went back there were lineups for the sinks.

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