24 Replies to “How to Open a Lemonade Stand in America”

  1. I thought it was strange that no diversity training need be undertaken in order to not offend the easily offended. On a more serioius note, “puffer fish”?

  2. Because you get botulism from lemonade!
    When its 95F you need to boil your lemonade just in case…there that should increase sales.
    Cheers
    Hans Rupprecht, Commander in Chief
    1st Saint Nicolaas Army
    Army Group “True North”

  3. We are just so over governed. You’d think the line could be drawn between selling lemonade and building a nuclear reactor.
    Do you teach the girls to say, “Do you have a search warrant?” What would the lemonade-cops do, take the 14 year old and 10 year old downtown? Downside is they are taken to children’s aid and the family because a victim of state sanctioned kidnapping (as Adler would say).
    A black lady on Toronto talk radio yesterday was saying that the cops in Toronto don’t want to do the tough neighbourhoods with the shootings, easier running speed traps, cell phone traps on the middle class. Same with OPP at Caledonia.

  4. If you’ve got a lemonade stand, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.

  5. That’s nothin….here in morontario….
    An associate, seeking to build a house on an undeveloped property, learned that to get a building permit…he needed to first have a drive-way.
    He obtained and obtained/paid a permit for said driveway…complete with the 911 property # for which the township works dept would erect a sign.
    He constructed the driveway at some expense, to then discover the township works dept had then promptly removed said driveway and then billed him for the expense.
    After enquiries it appeared a “communications gap” had occured….the works dept had no knowledge of the driveway permit….and removed the “illegal driveway”.
    He still receives dunning letters from the works dept for payment of their bill. Buddy is still awaiting the 911 sign……..

  6. Watch yourself at garage sales!
    Hockey helmets,strollers and car seats are a favourite for government nannies.
    The MP3 player, must have a volume control, or it’s contraband too.
    And they don’t need a warrant!

  7. @Leonard – well obviously! I mean look at the all the work those buearucrats did protecting the public from an entrepreneur!

  8. Wait until the EPA finds out about these young criminals and then of course they need to meet Equal Opportunity racial quotas.

  10. 9-11 was a huge boon for the over-regulation industry in the US. At a recent safety/environmental meeting at work, an environmental tech told us that, since 9-11, even minute amounts of “hazardous” solution, etc. have to be reported to the EPA, Homeland Security behemoth. We are to believe that a pint of bleach is going to be a weapon for terrorists, and that a paper trail to big government will somehow prevent this? Give me a break.

  11. Fools.All the kids have to do is dye themselves black,put up a “we vote for Obama” poster,apply for funding through their local Kwanza group and community funders,serve halah cookies,have a news release that the gubermint built the stand for them,give out free needles for the druggies working the stand,have the nearest same-sex couple adopt them,declare the stand gun free,sell only lemonade made from union grown lemons,allow no Isreals,pay their Islam tax,charge an extra 10 percent carbon tax,have a call to prayers,use electric cars for bringing in the supplies,use Solyndra supplied solar cells to keep the lemonade cool,employ only recouperated paedophlies, pay 100 percent tax,as they are part of the 1%,and report all Republicans to the Secret Service.What did I miss?

  12. @ Justthinkin at July 20, 2012 5:38 PM
    Good one. All you missed is the IRS lurking around the corner and taking notes.

  13. So the extinguisher is in case the lemonade spontaneously combusts?
    Red Necky, are you telling me that you’ve seen a civil servant on the job on a Saturday? It could happen but I think the odds of winning the lottery are lower.

  16. In Canada, I would open the stand with or without permission. I would put up a French sign, (A VENDRE, LIMONADE.) and I would use socialist lemons. (They`re really bitter.)
    When the health inspector comes along and says, “I am chief health inspector Jaques Clouseau, do you ave a leesance for zee leemonade stand,” ” I would say, “Me, I don`t speek zee English.”
    Five bucks says they`ll let me go.

  17. There was a day before the Courts took over the Constitution with the Politicians letting business thrive instead of bottleneck where America prospered under an every mans ambition to invent or innovate. No ship wrecked on a sacrificial spire to bureaucratic statism.

  18. I’m a Federal regulator, if a regulator has time to shut down kids lemonade stands, then they have to little to do. I’m a month behind at any one time and have to prioritize reviews based on safety risks, fishery windows and proponent timelines, etc. Generally speaking the Feds barely know you are alive, the provincial guys will respond if they get a complaint about you, but the Municipal government, knows where and what you live in and what you throw out.

  19. “…if a regulator has time to shut down kids lemonade stands, then they have to little to do…Generally speaking the Feds barely know you are alive, the provincial guys will respond if they get a complaint about you, but the Municipal government, knows where and what you live in and what you throw out.
    Posted by: Colin at July 21, 2012 3:15 AM
    Far as I’m concerned, there are far too many useless bastards doing make-believe jobs…at all levels. CFIA tormentors ordering grist mill owners to put content tags on grain bags; Min of Health heroes checking egg salad sandwiches at church picnics; and municipal rats checking your backyard to check if your pole-shed had a building permit.

  20. I know someone who burned one only brush pile in the deep snows of February in an Alberta County.
    1 – Apply for a permit
    2 – Municipal rat drove 15 miles each way to inspect brush pile.
    3 – On day of burning give notice.
    4 – Burn pile.
    5 – Notify municipality that all is done.
    6 – Municipal rat drives 15 miles each way to see that fire is out.
    This is in developed farm country, not in the middle of a forest.

  21. @Scar
    Depending where you are, that wouldn’t surprise me. My sister works as the only bylaw officer for a small town in the middle of nowhere alberta. On the otherside, she also has to take care of the entire county as well, if there’s nothing pressing inside the city she’ll go for a drive and just check out stuff in the county. If it’s a burn pile, or you cutting wood, or whatever the hell else. She’s not out to razz your ass, she’s getting paid to do it. And just wants something to do, because it’s her job to do it. And it’s much better that she’s *out* doing her job, than sitting on her ass inside.
    The previous person who was doing the job, did nothing. There were outstanding fines from 8 years ago that hadn’t been taken care of, complaints, and arrears from a decade ago, no rhyme or reason to any of the filings. The entire place was a mess. So tell me, is it better that they’re out doing their job, or sitting inside not doing their job?

  22. Eli
    Perhaps your sister is the exception, but the bylaw officers I have dealt with are paid professional busy bodies who could do the world a favor by staying in their office and doing nothing unless called out on a complaint. Driving around and looking for stuff to check out sounds more the “razz your ass” type that there are far too many of.

  23. peterj – seconded. Some of the loggers around where I grew up knew that if they had a particular inspector that they should leave a couple of flags in the wrong place so that he’d have something very minor to write them up about. His character wouldn’t let him say “you’ve done everything correctly”, so he’d waste hours of theirs going deeper and deeper into the rulebook until he found some outlandish or obscure rule that they had broken. If you gave him something obvious then he’d do a sweep of reasonable duration and then let them get back to work (their words, I don’t know what “reasonable” meant to them – he did get out of the truck and walk around though).

  24. I remember an expression heard years ago from a tax lawyer – “Leave that one for the Pa**ies (ethnic group)at Revenue Canada.”
    Leave something for the auditor to find so he can always quit before he gets in too deep.

Proudly powered by WordPress & Skyrocket Themes

MENU

Navigation