To the casual observer, the difference between the white-tail and mule deer is assumed to lie in the comparative length, size and shape of the ears.
It doesn’t. The crucial difference between the two species lies somewhere between them.
| As a cross-country driver of some experience, I’ve always found the behavior of mule deer to be disconcertingly placid. The creatures gather in small groups to graze in the ditches and at the road edge, lifting heads to stare you in the eye with a mixture of bemusement and mild alarm, They’re almost bovine in their behavior, but don’t let that fool you – they enjoy the head game.
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Quite unlike white-tails.

The normal mood of the white-tail deer alternates between panic attack and severe clinical depression. To complicate matters, the species is particularly sensitive to “seasonal affected disorder”, the season that affects them most known as “hunting season”.
Which leads me to last Friday morning. I was cruising along the narrow secondary highway about two miles west of Souris, Manitoba when the early morning light was interrupted in a demonstration of just how suicidal this species can become when all three mental states converge.
The flash of movement was four white-tails, running hard in single file. The first deer crossed the shoulder about 75 feet in front of my 2000 Dodge Caravan – a vehicle with a front profile specially designed to scoop large game up from the pavement and deposit it in the driver’s lap.
At such moments, the thought processes that occur during normal decision making are replaced by the road-conditioned instinct that takes over when forced to select from a set of distressingly bad choices.
PRIORIZE.
One …SEMI ONCOMING stay in the damned lane and two BRAKEHARDNOW and get behind that lead s.o.b before he comes through the windshield now three – get outatheBAM!
As is typical of such situations, there was no time for a third priority.
Just as I lifted off the brake to jam down the gas, the second deer smashed into the passenger door, taking out the mirror before rolling down the length of the van.
I suspect three and four probably met their fate intersecting the space-time continuum of the tractor-trailer unit. I don’t know. I didn’t go back to survey the carnage. My van had suffered quite enough of that as it was.

But all things considered, the best outcome possible under the circumstances, with bonus points for coming out of it with a vehicle that’s still drivable. The only question remaining is whether the insurance adjuster decides to write it off, in which case, I may be a bit “SAD” myself. I’ve only had it 5 months.