When the man regained consciousness at home, he discovered “blood-soaked bandages” and that his penis has been “mutilated,” according to court documents. The victim sent text-message photos of his mangled genitals to Schreiber, police said.
When the man regained consciousness at home, he discovered “blood-soaked bandages” and that his penis has been “mutilated,” according to court documents. The victim sent text-message photos of his mangled genitals to Schreiber, police said.
We are going to inject a large block of liquid plastic into your penis.
Yes, it’s going to hurt a little…
You can name it “lumpy”…
‘Right up there with eye tattoos.’ Indeed. Obviously not everyone has been issued with an adequate amount of intelligence.
1. Do NOT obtain Medical services at the strip mall, next to the Sunglass Hut.
2. Florida (again). The State of Florida is ground central for medical FRAUD and QUACKERY because of intentionally relaxed State Medical Licensure. Why? You ask … ? $$$$$$$$$$$ tax $$$$$$$$$$$ medical fraud and quackery generates massive $$$$$$$$ for the (Republican) State.
3. Your penis size is fine. Tell her to buy a bigger Steely Dan
4. Build your butt size the old fashioned way … EXERCISE! Your butt is a muscle. Use it. Oh, and the other old fashioned way to butt size? Genetics. If your mom is missing her bottom … you are screwed.
5. Take a physiology class (I had a GREAT one in HS) and learn important things … like how “the penis works” … blood flow … and other helpful hints to keep you out of the Emergency Room (if not morgue). .
On the topic of male endowmen.
That reminds me of the joke my Dad used to tell about the three guys who were in a POW camp during WWII. An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Chinamen. The German guard knew that defeat was just around the corner, so he told the three prisoners if they came up with a total of their male endowment that added up to 25 inches, he would let them go.
The next morning the three guys stood at attention while the POW guard measured them up with his ruler. The Frenchmen measured at 12 inches, the Englishman at 12, and the Chinese fellow at one inch, exactly. The guard let them go. They were overjoyed, and as they walked down the war torn countryside of France, the French guy reminded them as to how lucky they were that he was endowed with 12 inches. Then the Englishman started bragging about his 12 as well. Then the little Chinaman, not to be outdone, said, ”You damn lucky I was able to get it up.”
Ooops sorry, that was endowment.
A white man walks into the clinic of a black doctor wanting a longer penis. Irritated, the black doctor gives him instructions to tie one end of a rope around a large brick and the other around his penis. Then place the brick around the edge of his bed when he sleeps. “Your penis will be twice as long in a week” the black doctor promised.
A week later the white man was back – with a grin on his face. The doctor asked him how it went. “I’m half-way there” exclaimed the white man. Puzzled, the doctor asked him how much longer it had become.
“No it hasn’t gotten any longer” explained the white man. “But it did turn black”.
Sadly, I’m here all week.
Implants without silicone:
http://www.gocomics.com/bloom-county/2017/10/03
A GUT Y SEES A DOCTOR WITH A PECULIAR PROBLEM HE KEEPS STUTTERING ANDCANNOT FIGURE OUT WHY, AFTER A THOROUGH EXAM THE DOC SAYS” YOUR DICK IS TOO BIG AND IS PULLING ON YOUR VOCAL CHORDS, IF W CUT FOUR INCHES OFF YOU SHOULD BE FINE THE GUY AGREES, BUT TW WEEKS AFTER THE SURGERY COMES BACK AND IN A PERFECTLY CLEARR VOICE SYS, MY GIRLFRIEND WANTS YOU TO PUT IT BACK, TO WHICH THE DCTOR SAYS’ N,,N,N,N,NO WAY-)
Red Green had a cute line on artificial enhancements like viagra for old guys:
‘I’m not so sure about that whole viagra thing; you never see anyone putting a new flagpole on a condemned building’
just got this link regarding male fertility and chemical gender fudging from a dear friend:
https://www.naturalnews.com/2017-09-28-humanity-alert-sperm-count-plunges-59-due-to-mass-chemical-feminization-of-men.html
‘law of unintended consequences’ the close cousin of ‘short term objectives paramount’ mode of thinking.
Saw this poster in the Buffalo Airport “Cosmetic Gynecological Surgery”. What a nice gift for the man your life!
All I know is that if I so much as got erect (sorry) near my wife … she would drop a baby 9mos. later. I must be eating well … or my boys are hellaciously good swimmers.
“Is that popsicle sticks in your pants or are you just happy to see me”…doesn’t seem to have the right flair to it.
3. Your penis size is fine. Tell her to buy a bigger Steely Dan
Yeah, and if she wants to go for an hour, well knock yourself out honey!
Same problem, when we had four in three years I went to the vet
I had a set of “Irish Twins” (two in less than 12mos.) … note to self: Breastfeeding is NOT a natural form of birth control. I guess I didn’t learn EVERYTHING I needed to know in HS Physiology …