15 Replies to ““They say alcohol was a factor.””

  5. There are days you need a funny story like this and this is one of those “fibromyalgia is hell” days. How on earth do the officers keep straight faces when dealing with these nutcases?

  7. I had a parrot like this once, he had a mouth so foul it would make a Stevedore blush (True Story!). So one day I got so fed up that I grabbed him by his neck and threw him in the freezer for 10 minutes. After I let him out, he was the most pleasant, kind hearted bird I could ever hope to have as a pet (dare I say companion?).
    Anyways, about a week later he says to me: “Sir, I wanted to say what an absolute pleasure it’s been this past week to be enjoying your company, and your conversation. I know I may have crossed a line, and I thank you for taking a firm yet understanding stance regarding my, uhmmm, punishment.
    But I wonder if I might ask: what did the chicken do?

  8. “A beer in zhe hand ish worth two in zhe bush” or sumshing like zhat… burp. From the unfiled police report.

  10. Yep, scary.
    I tried to engage a SJW here in Toronto. Seems that they’ve grabbed on the idea that carding “doesn’t work”, in that it has never helped convict someone.
    I asked, quite simply, that if that’s a good reason not to collect data, did they admit that both the long gun registry, and the much older handgun registry were also bad ideas, in that they’ve never helped convict someone either.
    You can imagine how the discussion went, so I’ll spare you the details, but apparently, I’m an evil nazi racist ignorant bastard (and only that last one is semi-true).

  11. Let me guess: it wasn’t a Norwegian Blue that was nailed to its perch because it was pining for the fjords….

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