After Watermelons, I really didn’t want to write another book about environmentalism. But once you’ve begun to appreciate the grotesque scale of the problem – which extends far far beyond climate change to issues like the misguided green campaigns against silviculture, GM crops, cattle grazing, and so on – you end up feeling so angry and disgusted you want to speak out and warn the rest of the world just how many terrible, counterproductive, dishonest, destructive campaigns are being conducted behind a cloak of environmental righteousness. As I argued in Watermelons – and as I amplify in the books mentioned below – these have rather less to do with saving the planet than they do with the ongoing war by a shrill but powerful and scarily influential minority on Western Civilisation.
h/t EBD
Theory: Unicorns are real and they gain their magical powers from the Sun. The more sunshine there is there more unicorns present.
Skeptic: There has never been a unicorn citing, let alone more unicorns seen in sunnier environs.
Warmist type response: while our models forecasted unicorn sightings in sunnier climates, we now believe that Unicorns’ powers include invisibility, therefore the more sunny, the more difficult to see. We have adjusted our models to account for increased invisibility powers and now move our prediction from 97% certainty to 99% certainty that unicorns exists and gain magic from the Sun. The proof is right before your eyes: unicorns which cannot be seen in sunny climates…..everywhere!
Skeptic: How can that be proven, or more importantly, disproven.
Warmist response: We appreciate the lack of verifiable data in the above theory. However, the invisibility powers are temporary, and will only produce a “pause” in Unicorn sightings.
Our models forecast this pause to end in approximately 50 years, when the reams of unicorns which we now know with 99% certainty are frolicking about everywhere there is sun (albeit invisibly), will manifest themselves for the world to see.
Most importantly, we know that unicorn dung produces a significant amount of greenhouse gas (1000 fold more than Cow dung), which we know with as much certainty as the unicorn theory, is causing the earth to warm. Naturally, in addition to a carbon tax, experts agree to impose a tax that gets to the heart of the problem: the unicorn dung abatement tax.
Given how powerful unicorn dung is, the tax will be higher than anything we have seen out of our welfare state thus far.
If you care to save our childrens’ lives, you will support the unicorn dung abatement tax.
Don’t be a “denier”, save the children, increase taxes.
Good Lord Phil- you did it again. When will you ever learn?
The lyrics are ” You’re NEVER going to see no unicorns”.
I was surprised to learn that the Rovers have actually added a verse to their song:
Now you might think this is the ending to the song,
But I’ll have to tell you friends that in fact you’re wrong
You see, Unicorns are magical, so when the rain started pouring,
They grew themselves some wings and they took to soaring.
I have invisible, undetectable Unicorn fencing, a mere $ billion/day and it will defend the redistribution of wealth as we know it.
As government accepts the “Precautionary Principle” they must buy this fine defence against Unicorn attack system.
Buy in now.
Oopes, too late, the UN and associated parasites beat me to it.
Biff, I think you won the Internet.
What bothers me about these eco-hacks and the scientists who have abandoned their profession is that their pronouncements have real consequences (ie- golden rice). One must have no soul to advocate the banning of a food that could end hunger and disease based on no information.
” You’re NEVER going to see no unicorns”.
That’s what’s called a double negative and means you will see unicorns.
Never see no, means therefore see yes
I recall the Rovers giving a reason for adding that verse to their song. They said that at their performances, the smaller children would be in tears when they heard that all the unicorns had been drowned so they added that verse.
So there you have it, it’s fair game to scare the crap out of small children about AGW but we can’t tell them that a mythical creature has died a mythical death.
The best part of being in charge of the environmental theater troupe is the artistic freedom it brings.. Write em in or write em out.. Wrap it up and take a bow..
author! author!
Held over for 25 years and counting..
Daughtering fools every last one of them..
these have rather less to do with saving the planet than they do with the ongoing war by a shrill but powerful and scarily influential minority on Western Civilisation.
Infiltrated to the maximum with Communists, to people wanting to see humanity extinct.
To the foks who want us living like the ice age was still going on.
People have a right to know what’s in the food they choose to eat. If there is nothing wrong with GM crops then there shouldn’t be any problem with truthful labeling.
Tonight I wrote a cheque for the unicorn abatement tax, and at that very moment in a far away corner of our great land a child smiled as he fell asleep.
I done good. I done good.